langkah

'I'm trying to find it badly, waiting for a revelation of some sort?'

THAT is hugely important, and a common error that is responsible for an unimaginable amount of misery within our little club throughout human history.

Waiting for the understanding that will make the difference, the click that will cause it all to fall into place for us, pointing us in the right and good direction. Other people seem to know and they appear to get along fine, and we're sure when we know as they know then and only then it'll happen for us too.

And so we wait. And we believe it will either happen or it will not. After all, what else could we possibly do?

That line of thinking, and that alone will defeat you for as long as you believe there is any truth in it.

Zencat

Hi Claren

Consider having motivation or determination to stop drinking is a skill that you can acquire. For me building skills to quit drinking for good is called the empowerment approach of recovery. Another way to recover from alcoholism is the faith based way where powerlessness is a core concept. One surrenders their power to a Higher Power or God to relieve the alcoholic from their illness.

Do you know what recovery direction you would like to take with your alcohol problem?

I choose the empowerment approach to treating my alcohol/drug addiction. That is developing a set of recovery skills (recovery tools) to manage my life in a way that brings an overall sense of wellness. Like acquiring any skill in life, it takes time, patience, practice and persistence. It means staying off the drink in order to learn how to stop the cravings and urges to use. Then how to live a life free from the influences of alcohol all the wile learning how to cope with life's stressors. I believe having the good life can be learned wile some believe the good life can be given to them by God or any combination of the two I guess. I'm a big DYI guy, so there's that

claren

Hi Langkah,
Thanks, that is direct! I think a lot of people find some revelation. But I hear what you are saying. Thanks

claren

Hi Zen cat,

I like the empowerment approach much better. I can't do the powerlessness thinking, makes me feel worse, as I feel I need to gain control not lose it and I will not give in to anything except myself. How do you find strength from empowerment when giving up?
I am finding it so difficult... Thanks for your support.

Terminally Unique

Claren,

Although I have helped some people, no one on here has actually seen me do my thing the right way, since people inevitably want coddling, and I have to temper my usual style. If you are motivated and willing to give me some wide latitude, though, I can take you over the threshold to complete recovery in a relatively short amount of time. No powerlessness, no surrender, no giving in. It would sting quite a bit, to be sure, so it isn't for the faint of heart, but if you want, you can have this matter resolved by the end of the month.

karilynn27

I didn't come to terms with it, the dts kinda made me wake up and go wtf. Thing is I was trying to not drink and kept getting sick. I woke up one morning after drinking the night before and realized that when I drank I didn't feel sick anymore, I made it about 36 hours the last time without drinking. I woke up and said s***, I'm an alcoholic. By the way I was a bartender, that's how I made my living. For me I lived in denial for years and I pride myself on brutal honesty. I remember looking up alcohol withdrawl the year before. My symptoms matched, I just ignored it.
Anyway that's my story and I'm sticking to it. The thought of quitting forever scared me to death . I can quit for 24 hrs so that's what I do every day. 80 times now.
Stick with it. I didn't think is make a day, turns out I did.
Learning more every day
Odaat

claren

Hi TU,

I'm intrigued! That simple huh! By the end of the month! Well it's nearly 5 am so the insomnia is pretty bad, my stress levels are crazy and I want to hide u der my bed. I'll try ANYTHING to help stop me drinking!

claren

Hi Karilyn,

Scares me to death! Thanks for your brutal honesty. That's me too can't stand deceit yet I lie to myself all the ti e about drinking. I guess addiction is not a moral problem! Like the 24 hr approach and I just need to go long enough to feel better. When did you start to feel better? Congrats on 80 days

DayTrader

Yeah Claren....that's how recovery works. You can go through the steps in a matter of hours, if you're willing. For most of us though, some of those amends will not be reasonably finished in a day but there's no reason it should take more than a couple weeks - unless the step-taker is balking.

TU uses AVRT...which is cool too. It works....IF YOU WORK IT. In that respect, both programs are very similar - YOU'RE RECOVERY is and will remain contingent upon the work/effort you put into it.

All the cries for support, give me hugs, I've had a bad day.......those things are important but they're almost meaningless when it comes to overcoming alcoholism. Sure, they feel good. They're supposed to feel good. But think about it....didn't you (like me) drink on days when everything was just fine? So "feeling good" isn't the key to sobriety.

Prettymuch, the ball's in your court.

karilynn27

Well, feeling good is hard to describe because I've spent so many years pouring alcohol over any and every feeling I had.
My experience was two weeks of bad detox. Personally I did whatever I could not to drink. I went to Aa meetings everyday. Got people to drive me places when I felt like I would not be able to resist drinking. I was going through some extremely traumatic personal issues at the time (not a good time to quit, but is there ever?) Now it gives me strength to think that I did quit amidst the turmoil) I immersed myself in my recovery and was very selfish about it. I figured I had been so selfish about my drinking that everybody would survive me being selfish about getting sober. (they did). The second two weeks the worst of the detox subsided and I was shocked that I was sober. Day 30 was a difficult day, I had to reach out to someone I trusted cause all I wanted to do was drink.
My body continued to detox and as I approach 3 months the fog has continued to lift and I am finding some strange things. Happiness, laughter, enjoyment. I actually love being sober. The cravings pop up but I am busy learning different tools to handle them. for me it took a long time to screw my body up as bad as I did so it takes a while for the poisons to leach out of my system. I have my own journey that I stumbled upon and I lean on Aa but do alot of online stuff due to the circumstances in my life. I don't really care how you get sober and am not one of those who thinks my way or the highway. I do know that I took my daughters advice and worked as hard at it as I did at drinking. My very best to you, I will be thinking of you. Almost three months out and although life is not magically transformed, I am different. I am learning and expect to continue for the rest of my life. I am happy, I am proud of myself and my family notices that I am different. I am here .