Finally admitting what I've known for awhile
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 53
Finally admitting what I've known for awhile
I've been a heavy beer drinker for as long as I can remember, but not the go out and party type, but the sit up watching tv and drink till all the beers are gone variety. I'm 45 year old man and in good shape (at least by appearance) because I make sure that I work out to offset the calories that I consume. I have tried to "cut back" or quit more times than I can remember...literally 50+over the last 10years. It's embarrassing to remember all the promises I have made and broken to my wife and kids. For example, i once made a deal with my kids that I wouldn't drink all week and if I did, they would get $5...they got richer and I got drunk at home again. Last month I had to go out of town with my daughter and her teammates for an athletic tournament and, believe it or not, I won't drink in front of other parents or girls (strange, huh?) so I didn't drink a drop for 5 days. The longest that I have gone for over a year, and in was so encouraged that I celebrated by having a few beers on day 6, since I "proved" to myself that I could stop anytime (sound familiar) which followed with 5 straight days of 10+ beers at night. I have never drank during the day and have a good job, so I continue to justify that my drinking is no big deal...until now. I am 21 days shy of my 46th birthday and have committed to 21 days of sobriety, which hopefully will "reset" my relationship with alcohol. Day one was yesterday and successful...wish me well on day 2!
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome 6palms...I quit at 51...Beer was my poison...I was drinking over a case a day my last two years..I remember a time it was 10 a day and I had a good job and a wife....It's a great site...Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((6Palms))) - Welcome to SR and congratulations on day 2!! SR has been a huge part of my recovery, we're like a really big family who "gets" each other, so welcome to the family
I do recommend getting checked up by a dr. Alcohol withdrawal can be serious, even fatal, and it's never a bad idea to get a checkup and be honest about the drinking.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I do recommend getting checked up by a dr. Alcohol withdrawal can be serious, even fatal, and it's never a bad idea to get a checkup and be honest about the drinking.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome 6palms! I was like Sapling - it was 10 beers a day, then it was a 30-pack (& I'm a small woman). Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It hasn't impacted your job, & you can stop for a time when you want to - right now. It's what happens when you do drink that's a problem. I would never have believed I'd become so dependent on it that I'd be drinking all day, every day - but it happened.
Proud of you for taking a hard look at what those beers are doing to you. Congratulations on your Day 2.
Proud of you for taking a hard look at what those beers are doing to you. Congratulations on your Day 2.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Good for you! My dad drinks like you do (stays up watching TV in the basement and drinks a bottle of wine or more while doing it... drinks beer by himself until it's gone) and I wish he would quit. You're an inspiration. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Shows some awareness, good for you. Must be the season to quit for a while. This time of year many alcoholics stop for Lent and then take off like mad again after it's over.
At least for 3 weeks you'll be in your right mind for your kids in the evening and that could be an important memory for them later on.
Along with that really cute story, you paying them $5 apiece.
During this time maybe give some thought to what a sober dad might be worth to them as they grow up, if a drunk one is worth $5.
Good luck and well done on your decision.
At least for 3 weeks you'll be in your right mind for your kids in the evening and that could be an important memory for them later on.
Along with that really cute story, you paying them $5 apiece.
During this time maybe give some thought to what a sober dad might be worth to them as they grow up, if a drunk one is worth $5.
Good luck and well done on your decision.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
21 days is a good goal but it really isn't enough.
I appreciate that this is a small steps thing but you really should think about upping your target. You'll just be starting to feel better in 21 days. Also 21 days really isn't that difficult to do - it would be easy to throw a party to celebrate how "not a drunk" you are for making it three weeks.
60 days is a worthy goal. It will be a significant accomplishment and it will give you a period of time where you can reasonably examine and think about your relationship with alcohol. You'll be able to do some reading on alcoholism...maybe try out a program or two....there's lots of information here on different methods that people use to get free of alcohol.
If you can do that you'll be in a much better position from which to make a decision about future drinking.
I started out much the same as you...a thirty day break is how I posed it to myself. After 30 days I decided to make it 60 days. Now I'm 9 months in and I know I will never drink again.
Good luck with everything and congratulations on having the self awareness to know that it is time.
I appreciate that this is a small steps thing but you really should think about upping your target. You'll just be starting to feel better in 21 days. Also 21 days really isn't that difficult to do - it would be easy to throw a party to celebrate how "not a drunk" you are for making it three weeks.
60 days is a worthy goal. It will be a significant accomplishment and it will give you a period of time where you can reasonably examine and think about your relationship with alcohol. You'll be able to do some reading on alcoholism...maybe try out a program or two....there's lots of information here on different methods that people use to get free of alcohol.
If you can do that you'll be in a much better position from which to make a decision about future drinking.
I started out much the same as you...a thirty day break is how I posed it to myself. After 30 days I decided to make it 60 days. Now I'm 9 months in and I know I will never drink again.
Good luck with everything and congratulations on having the self awareness to know that it is time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi and welcome 6 palms,
I agree with Tippingpoint, the only relationship I can have with alcohol is a broken one.
You have been down the moderation road and came to a dead end. Why do you think it will be different this time?
It is difficult when you think of life without alcohol if you haven't experienced a good time of HEALTHY sobriety.
Its a whole new ballgame.
CaiHong
I agree with Tippingpoint, the only relationship I can have with alcohol is a broken one.
You have been down the moderation road and came to a dead end. Why do you think it will be different this time?
It is difficult when you think of life without alcohol if you haven't experienced a good time of HEALTHY sobriety.
Its a whole new ballgame.
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,911
Welcome to SR!
10+ beers a day is alot and I hate to tell you this but you're not getting any younger. If you've been drinking at that pace for years it's taken a toll on your body. You may be 45 chronologically, but your internal organs (and alcohol affects every organ in the body) might be older. I've seen some research that suggests that alcoholics have a shorter life span by 10 - 12 years.
I quit drinking (for the first time, had a relapse in there) when I was about your age. Now I'm sober and in great shape for someone in their 50's, but I really work at it. So I think it's possible to recover from any damage you've done. You are never going to be 20 again, but you can be a fit and healthy 46 year old. The choice is yours.
10+ beers a day is alot and I hate to tell you this but you're not getting any younger. If you've been drinking at that pace for years it's taken a toll on your body. You may be 45 chronologically, but your internal organs (and alcohol affects every organ in the body) might be older. I've seen some research that suggests that alcoholics have a shorter life span by 10 - 12 years.
I quit drinking (for the first time, had a relapse in there) when I was about your age. Now I'm sober and in great shape for someone in their 50's, but I really work at it. So I think it's possible to recover from any damage you've done. You are never going to be 20 again, but you can be a fit and healthy 46 year old. The choice is yours.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Hi 6,
To me better is better. Start by just not drinking today. When tomorrow is today repeat by not drinking today. When you get your 21 days, you just might like how your life is going and decide to keep at it. It worked for me sort of that way.
To me better is better. Start by just not drinking today. When tomorrow is today repeat by not drinking today. When you get your 21 days, you just might like how your life is going and decide to keep at it. It worked for me sort of that way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 53
Day 2 not too great
It seemed so easy...I found this site and it was gonna be easy. Say I'm gonna not drink any more and I won't drink any more. Well I went out to run an errand and I found myself getting a "roadie" which I failed to mention in my initial post has become my latest problem. I ran the errand , grabbed some food and grabbed groceries. It was my intention to not buy beer tonight, but I write this AGAIN at 11:30, with my family in bed, watching tv and drinking the 8 - 16 oz beers that I bought. Just another night of dad watching tv till midnight and going to bed drunk. I need to commit to this.
Thanks for all the comments. Tomorrow will be my new day 1. I will be successful.
Thanks for all the comments. Tomorrow will be my new day 1. I will be successful.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
6palms,
Though very tempting, consider that quitting 'to see how it goes' may not cut it given your history. If you think of alcoholism as a perverse love affair with the bottle, quitting 'to see how it goes' is kind of like getting divorced 'to see how it goes'. You wouldn't get divorced that way, would you? Would anyone even recommend such a thing?
Something to ponder...
Though very tempting, consider that quitting 'to see how it goes' may not cut it given your history. If you think of alcoholism as a perverse love affair with the bottle, quitting 'to see how it goes' is kind of like getting divorced 'to see how it goes'. You wouldn't get divorced that way, would you? Would anyone even recommend such a thing?
Something to ponder...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 282
Hi there, my story is similar, kids, good job, only drinking in the evenings/late arvo, tried to stop many times but couldnt, but I'm only 35 
I'm 6 1/2 weeks sober and it's one of the hardest but best things ever! The clarity of your brain and your thought process changes so much that I look back and cringe at how much I drank and how I behaved. What a waste of an evening worrying about when or where your next beer is. I enjoy my family and the simple things in life so so much more now. In saying that though, I still want to celebrate with a beer.....often! It does pass quickly now but 3 weeks is definately not long enough to reset your relationship with alcohol. At 21 days I was only just getting over the irritability and tiredness that I suffered the first few weeks. it's pretty common and normal for the first few weeks to be reeeeally crappy! Give yourself at least 60 days to at least get into the second month where it is easier and fun, then maybe reassess. U mightn't want to go back. Keep reading here and you'll notice the peeps drinking are not as happy and content as the peeps with a bit of sobriety under their belt! That's what I keep reminding myself when my alcy voice tries to tell me I deserve a drink, because it is never 1 drink. As soon as I let the alcy voice win and have one, it takes control and I've downed a 6 pack and a bottle of wine....easily.
All the best
I'm 6 1/2 weeks sober and it's one of the hardest but best things ever! The clarity of your brain and your thought process changes so much that I look back and cringe at how much I drank and how I behaved. What a waste of an evening worrying about when or where your next beer is. I enjoy my family and the simple things in life so so much more now. In saying that though, I still want to celebrate with a beer.....often! It does pass quickly now but 3 weeks is definately not long enough to reset your relationship with alcohol. At 21 days I was only just getting over the irritability and tiredness that I suffered the first few weeks. it's pretty common and normal for the first few weeks to be reeeeally crappy! Give yourself at least 60 days to at least get into the second month where it is easier and fun, then maybe reassess. U mightn't want to go back. Keep reading here and you'll notice the peeps drinking are not as happy and content as the peeps with a bit of sobriety under their belt! That's what I keep reminding myself when my alcy voice tries to tell me I deserve a drink, because it is never 1 drink. As soon as I let the alcy voice win and have one, it takes control and I've downed a 6 pack and a bottle of wine....easily.
All the best
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 282
Just read your latest post, it came in after mine. What worked for me was realizing it was going to be hard! It's not easy, it took me 6 months of stop starting to realize this. My mantra was and is 'The only way out is through'. Out of the cravings/iritibility is through them. I actually think it was the hardest thing I've possibly done. I'd rather re-live my 3 day labour than Week 1 of sobriety!
I wrote a list of 101 things to do before drinking! I stayed out of the house until dinner, ate real early and went to bed at 8:30! Just to get away from my head. It's no way near as hard or boring now....only 6 weeks later!
I agree with Zebra 'lifestyle choice' diseases start showing their ugly head at 50!
All the best tomorrow....maybe go somewhere where lots of woman and kids hang out if that's where u find it easy, lol
I wrote a list of 101 things to do before drinking! I stayed out of the house until dinner, ate real early and went to bed at 8:30! Just to get away from my head. It's no way near as hard or boring now....only 6 weeks later!
I agree with Zebra 'lifestyle choice' diseases start showing their ugly head at 50!
All the best tomorrow....maybe go somewhere where lots of woman and kids hang out if that's where u find it easy, lol
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