justjo

Hi 6P

I read your posts, I thought it was my brother - hes been doing the same as you for years. Im not gonna sugar coat it for you and tell you that you can do it., I hope you can tho.
My sister died from alcoholism just over 2 years ago at 41, my brother is 49 now and Im just waiting for that phone call.
I really understand what you are saying but you know what ? The real question is not, can I make it to day 2 or 3 or 4. Its, do I really WANT TO? and have courage in yourself.

Sincerely JJ

artsoul

Welcome 6palms!

Good luck on day 1 tomorrow..... I spent a lot of time here those first couple days and picked up a lot of tips about getting through the cravings. Got a lot of inspiration, too, which was great because I was pretty scared and wasn't sure I could do it. It's worth it though, so hang in there.

Glad you decided to join us!

Sapling

You sound so much like me...It's scary. I didn't have kids but I had a great wife that couldn't take it anymore....She left and I don't blame her. I blame me and my sickness. 16oz beers...I was not only buying more but I had to buy bigger ones too....If it was 12oz...I'd by two 18 packs or a case...That was all I could do. That's all I lived for. I was so alone....Lost...Hopeless...Ashamed....Terrified... .Broken. Completely broken. That's when I had to give up and grow up....I had to face it...My only other option was a slow lonely death...I'd done enough damage to myself and everyone that cared for me...I had to admit it and I had to fix it. I walked into an AA meeting feeling all those emotions I listed above....I knew that was where I should be as soon as I sat down...I left there with hope...And I hadn't felt that in so long it was almost like a high...I put everything I had inside me into it and did what they told me to do...I found out I could live without it if I was willing to do things I didn't want to do...The hardest one...Getting completely honest with myself...That was a B!tch...But that's also what saved my life...I haven't had a beer in nine months next week...For me a miracle...Doing the impossible...Living.... AA may not be for you...For me it works...I have a new life...I hope you find something that does work for you...Because...Where you are right now...Doing what you are doing....Will only get horribly worse...I know that because I've been there.

Dee74

Welcome to SR 6palms
You'll find a lot of support here

I found myself nodding a lot at your story too.

My life has never been better since I gave up alcohol - I hope you'll hit that 21 days and decide to do more

D

Zebra1275

Drinking at the end of a long day when the family is asleep got to be problem for me. I didn't drink as much beer as you, I didn't have the time. So I drank vodka with my beer, to paraphrase an old line, "liquor is quicker."

6palms

I read another thread today that referenced AVR and "the beast". I went to their website which I found to be fantastic...their approach is more "me" than AA...it's similar to how I stopped smoking (i don't miss cigarettes because I am a non-smoker) I have done a few fasts over the past couple of years and those folks will tell you, when your stomach is growling, to simply tell your body to "stop whining". I plan to take these combined approaches to my plan...laugh at the beast and tell myself that the AV is "whining again".

claren

Hi 6palms,
Day two for me today, andi have joined you in your thred too! same here with the situation, for me it is wine, drink a bottle while doing dinner and then some more. I was drinking two to three bottles a night three years ago so there have been improvements since I went to a detox centre. still can't go more than three days though, and that is my biggest challenge. I have been told to have a craving plan, so this is it. I'm going to write here u til the crave waves pass. It is 10 am and the cravings are creeping up even though I'm on day two of a horrible hangover. Anxiety is creeping up too. How do you deal with the cravings? Do you want to start a plan? If I can't stay sober I'm going to take myself to rehab as soon as the kids break for summer. I have a really good job too, which I love and feel very proud of, missed mornings, cancelled meetings, rubber brain and anxiety ridden insomnia - I can feel the pressure keeping everything together for sure. I want to start running marathons again but feel so tired, how do motivate yourself to keep fit? Keep going...

6palms

Hi claren,
Fitness is a control thing for me I think, but part of my "illusion" of being OK. If I look healthy then I can't really be that much of a drunk...right?

I've not eaten entire days so I could "save those calories" because I knew I would be drinking and eating everything I could get my hands on at midnight. Talk about ways to cope!

I hope ur doin well. Keep checking in!

langkah

Keep after it. I note you were firm and decided at 2pm and drunk less than 8 hours later, so staying continually on top of your firm decision with some extra toughness is called for.

If you sense you are starting to fade in your ironclad commitment after a couple of days let someone else go to the store and stay in your jammies after dinner at night. If it gets really bad put off drinking for short periods, like until you finish a huge crossword puzzle, or help all the kids with their homework, or go clean the garage 'till 3am, do anything but drink or dope.

See if by laughing at the Beast you can get past that 5th Day and into day 6 using all your powers of powerful control, incontrovertible decision and firm will.

claren

Hi 6palms,

I can relate to that. I would run six miles and start supping the wine while doing dinner. I would tell myself alcoholics don't run marathons. An Illusion, the minds way of preserving the alcoholic within. How are you doing?
It is Friday, want my wine while watching Sparticus, grinding my teeth, feel stressed after a bad meeting and irritable. Wish I could use my stubbornness to stop as apposed to defending my drink. Have to get it together!

jocata

Whatever program you choose, work it like your life depends on it. It just might.

Best wishes.

God bless.

claren

Hi 6palms

How are you doing?

6palms

8:00...drag myself out of bed cuz today is THE DAY and I promised myself I would start it with a long walk to get my head right...beautiful S. Florida day, walking, thinking and listening to pandora when "Angel" comes on...immediately download it cuz it was making me cry...I know it has different meanings to different people but it spoke to me, especially on this day...made it my official anthem of sobriety. I walk 4 miles and feel fantastic, then home for breakfast with family, followed by church with family and errands with family (starting to see a theme here?).

Go to library with my son and check out and start to read Ratinal Recovery book at library while son is on the computer, them we head over to check out a horse riding camp for him, then home. Had announced this morning to family that we are going to the beach at 6:00, so be ready (no beer at the beach!). The beach was perfect, peaceful, calming...listened to Angel over and over again as I watched the waves roll in and watched my daughter burying her brother in the sand...much better option for the 6:00-7:30 timeframe than drinking in my car as I go to buy beer for the night.

Getting dark so we head home, wife asks me to run to the store to pick up a few things...Uh-Oh...NO PROBLEM TODAY, I DON'T DRINK ANYMORE. get groceries, making sure that I sneer at the beer as I pass by. Have a great, late dinner, Watch some tv with my family, hang some clothes, drink some water and go to bed...

Perfect day...amazingly simple whe you don't have to plan the day around getting beer and drinking late..

Sorry for the detail, but it felt so good when I was telling it.