I'm back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Oxford, NC
Posts: 18
I'm back
Five days now. It took 48 hours for the alcohol to get out of my system. I hope I get it this time. I start a new job Thursday, so I gave myself six days to dry out. I still have some ringing in the ears, blurred vision, pressure in my head, mental fogginess, a strange feeling like I'm outside of my body, dizziness, fatigue, and sensitivity to light. In short, my brain seems to be fried. I've been drinking heavily and mostly daily for I think 17 years. I have been known to drink 5 liters of wine in one setting. Most recently I have put away as much as half a gallon or more of vodka in one night. In short, I'm a real drunk. The last few months, I haven't drunk everyday because I had to wait a couple of days after a long drunk to be sober enough to drive to the store for more. After only a few days, I can see how sick an existence this is. It's not a life. Besides, after the first few drinks, I black out until all the alcohol is gone. Then I detox until I'm sober enough to go get some more and do it all again. Anyway enough about me for now. Thanks for letting me share my story.
NAIOU
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Last house on the block.
Posts: 359
Kpit glad you are here at SR. You are in the right place. There are a lot of good people here at SR. Welcome. If you are ready to change your life you are in the right place. Now is the time for you to change. Recovery is a way of life for me. What did I have to change about myself in recovery? The answer is I had to change every thing about myself. I hope you are ready for that change in your life. Hang on for the ride. You will get a lot of support here at SR. It all comes down to what you are willing to do to stay sober. I hope to see more of you at SR. Good luck on your journey into recovery. Logo
dude in recovery
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Gulf Coast, TX
Posts: 1,504
Very good Kpit, keep going.... I am so glad I broke free of that viscous cycle. I drank beer (sometime boosted with vodka) heavily and daily for 10+ years and experienced much of what you described, it's no picnic at all, but the rewards are hard to put into words, except to say 'incredible' for me at 5 months. I have respect for myself, I am grateful for many things large and small and I can do so much more in my day with the drink removed from my life. Getting medical help and attending meetings has helped many. For me; staying in control of my own mind and not letting the voice take over is very important in the first 90 days, now I can go into my old beer stores (corner stores) and buy just what I need, with little to no thought of the alcohol.
Wishing you the best.
Wishing you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 133
Just focus on your new job rather than alcohol. Your job can make you live and even earn money while alcoholism may only leave you drunk at lost.
We are here to support you and if you have any problems you can easily approach any member here in this forum to help you out.
We are here to support you and if you have any problems you can easily approach any member here in this forum to help you out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Oxford, NC
Posts: 18
Thanks everyone! I'm ready for my new job tomorrow! I am still sober and ready to go! I give thanks to God for this door opening!
I have only thought about alcohol a few times today and have quickly dismissed the thought each time as just that--a passing thought! I am new to being sober, but so far, it's alot better than being sick and drunk not being able to go out in public and just experience life. I can now get up and get into my truck and go anywhere I want without having to worry about whether I am still legally too drunk to drive. I can also not worry tomorrow morning about what I might have done tonight because I am here, right now, in this moment, completely sober and completely cognizant of what I am doing and writing! The fact that I will not have that anxiety tomorrow morning is so wonderful! It is so wonderful that I am rambling because for the first time in many years, I feel free of my own self imposed prison of anxiety and misery. At the time I thought the buzz outweighed the pain, but even after these few days, I can see that I was wrong. While I would like to kick myself in the rear for having wasted so much time, caused so much havoc in others' lives, and missed out on so much life, I have read enough to know that it would be useless. I will continue to heal myself and look to my past for healing rather than to mire myself into self pity. I plan to make amends as it becomes appropriate and I will rely on God to guide me through this process. The Big Book is my second Bible. The direction I have taken my life has not worked up to this point so I think it is time to put someone else into the driver's seat and let Him take me where he wants me to go. This is my surrender. I am an alcoholic and by myself, I am powerless over alcohol, but with my Higher Power's help, I am not powerless. I also realize now that as long as I do not take a drink, I will not get drunk, and that the predictable chain of events that always follows that first drink will not happen. There is no reason for me to ever have to drink or dry out again. I have the tools which do include AA to help me put my life back together while I still have a life to salvage. Alcohol is cunning and baffling, but I won't be fooled again by it. The power it had over me is gone, and I refuse to give it the satisfaction of reigning over any part of my life again. I am at peace with myself and the world for the first time in probably 20 years--which is before I started drinking. This peace is priceless. I now have the strength to face the world, make amends where I need to and move on with my life which will include lots of service work!
Thanks for letting me share!
I have only thought about alcohol a few times today and have quickly dismissed the thought each time as just that--a passing thought! I am new to being sober, but so far, it's alot better than being sick and drunk not being able to go out in public and just experience life. I can now get up and get into my truck and go anywhere I want without having to worry about whether I am still legally too drunk to drive. I can also not worry tomorrow morning about what I might have done tonight because I am here, right now, in this moment, completely sober and completely cognizant of what I am doing and writing! The fact that I will not have that anxiety tomorrow morning is so wonderful! It is so wonderful that I am rambling because for the first time in many years, I feel free of my own self imposed prison of anxiety and misery. At the time I thought the buzz outweighed the pain, but even after these few days, I can see that I was wrong. While I would like to kick myself in the rear for having wasted so much time, caused so much havoc in others' lives, and missed out on so much life, I have read enough to know that it would be useless. I will continue to heal myself and look to my past for healing rather than to mire myself into self pity. I plan to make amends as it becomes appropriate and I will rely on God to guide me through this process. The Big Book is my second Bible. The direction I have taken my life has not worked up to this point so I think it is time to put someone else into the driver's seat and let Him take me where he wants me to go. This is my surrender. I am an alcoholic and by myself, I am powerless over alcohol, but with my Higher Power's help, I am not powerless. I also realize now that as long as I do not take a drink, I will not get drunk, and that the predictable chain of events that always follows that first drink will not happen. There is no reason for me to ever have to drink or dry out again. I have the tools which do include AA to help me put my life back together while I still have a life to salvage. Alcohol is cunning and baffling, but I won't be fooled again by it. The power it had over me is gone, and I refuse to give it the satisfaction of reigning over any part of my life again. I am at peace with myself and the world for the first time in probably 20 years--which is before I started drinking. This peace is priceless. I now have the strength to face the world, make amends where I need to and move on with my life which will include lots of service work!
Thanks for letting me share!
That's wonderful, Kpit! I have to tell you, those hangover-free mornings might get addicting......
Congrats on the new job!
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