Emjay40

Hello everybody

I've been lurking for a while but now it's time to bite the bullet and post.

I'm an alcoholic. There, I said it.

Every week I tell myself I'm going to get it under control, and every week I fail miserably. I'm not sure when it took over my life, I think it just kind of crept up on me. I'm a mess today. I have a terrible hangover and I had to go to work. I thought I was going to die. I'm terrified about my health. I have pains in my stomach and I know it's caused by the booze. I'm scared to see a Doctor because I don't want him to know what I'm doing to myself. I hope I haven't done any permanent damage. My kids need me to be healthy not a complete wreck

I need to get a grip but I don't know where to start. I hope this place can help me. I envy all those of you who have managed to stay sober for so long. I hope I can do what you do. I'm going to try really hard. This is the first step........wish me luck!

BillyPilgrim

Welcome Emjay
You have admitted to yourself you have a problem, and there is a lot of support here. Get to an AA meeting, it is scarey to go over that threshold, but once you have I guarantee you will not regret it, and you can start your path to recovery

OheemJah

You can do it! I've been sober for two weeks today and used to drink everyday. Its hard at first, and you feel crappy, but after awhile you don't require as much sleep and can wake up, feel good, and function. Make today the first day of the rest of your life

Emjay40

Thanks for the welcome. I don't know if there is an AA Group near where I live (I'm in a rural community) but I will check.

I was doing so well this weekend. I had a great time with my kids. Then yesterday I was cooking lunch and out came the wine. It was downhill from there. I have to make this stop. I need to get my life back.

Dazee

Welcome to SR! This is a great place to get started. You may want to join the class of March 2012 for those quitting in the month of March.

Fandy

welcome. If it helps, i could have written your posts myself when i first quit.

i suggest you tell your doctor about the pain in your stomach and be truthful about how much you drink. a good bloodwork can determine what your liver enzymes are.

facing the music is a great motivator....and you can recover.

michelle01

I remember feeling that way as a newcomer, I never thought I could get there, but somehow I clocked up the time.

All this crept up on me too, until it got to the point where alcohol was no longer working for me, if it ever really did, it was most definitely against me. No matter how I tried, I couldn't remedy it except by quitting. Scary thought at first, but very happy now to have my life back.

Emjay40

Well done Michelle. It's you and others like you who inspire me.

Dee74

Hi and welcome emjay

I know it's scary and maybe even a little shameful, but the best thing you can do is go get yourself checked out. Go to a different doctor than usual if you need to. but it's best to get checked out and put your mind at ease -= then you can focus 100% on recovery

You're among friends here - you'll find a lot of understanding and support

D

saphira

Welcome!! Glad to have you here!! I agree that you should probably go get yourself checked out by a doc. I put it off for so long. When I finally did go I had this whole speech prepared because I was so nervous. My doctor didnt even bat an eye at what I said. What I realized in that moment is that the good doctors don't jugde... They genuinely just want to help take care of us. I felt so much better after I went because I knew where I stood physically-- there's power in that. I guarantee you'll feel better after you go.
I know how hard it is to start on this path but you're here and that says a lot. You can do this. I used to think it was impossible and it took me a long time to get a solid start but I'm building up more and more time away from the bottle. Just take it one step at a time and keep coming back here!

Jeans

Welcome Emjay. I thought I was dying when I was hungover too and I was so scared. It wasn't until I joined this site that I realised I was an alcoholic.

You have taken the first step so be proud of yourself. If you are worried about your health you should see a doctor, they are not there to judge you if you want to get better!

Good luck, you are in the right place

Anna

Hi Emjay,

I'm glad that you posted.

As others have said, I was where you are too, and I know how hard it is to get beyond that. But, you can live a sober life and we are here to offer support.

Emjay40

Thanks to everybody. I know I need to see the Doctor. That will be my next big test. Admitting it to somebody face to face. It's so scary, but I do need to know my body is OK. Right now I'm just terrified I've done lasting damage. My liver was last checked eight years ago and Lord knows what I've done to it since then!

soberjim

Emjay..Welcome to SR.. There is a lot of support here along with a great deal of information. Wishing you the best.

Jim

albatulipan

Welcome Emjay,
you are in the right place, I'm in a situation very similar to yours, I arrived at this site very scared, and I have kids to take care of. I'm doing really good since I decided to quit around 20 days ago, and this site has been essential in order to feel better.I'm sure we can make it

Lind

Welcome Emjay, Just know that you are not alone in this journey!! You can do this!! Lind

albatulipan

Luvdogs

Welome Emjay. I'm only 7 days sober but this site truely has been a blessing.

Getting checked out by your doctor is a great start. The majority of them will not judge but do whatever they can to get you healthy. That way, you know exactly where you stand as far as your health is concerned and one less thing to worry about, the unknown.

You can do this! For me, waking up in the mornings now, without that feeling of guilt makes this all worth it. I would get so down on myself for drinking too much, etc that it ate me alive. I finally figured out, just quit and the guilt will go away. And guess what it did!

Best wishes and keep posting.

InsertNameHere

Welcome! I am fairley new here as well, joined in November and have kept crawling back. I had convinced myself for many a year that I didn't have a problem but now know I do. The people here can really help as alot of the regular posters have a lot of experience between them. So glad you decided to join up!

Emjay40

I'm so glad I've come on here. Everybody is so welcoming and friendly. I know I'm going to need some support and I just hope I'll be able to give some support in return.