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Old 03-12-2012, 04:11 PM   #1 (permalink)
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not sure what to say but i need to say something


I'm close to my breaking point. My mom is a bipolar addict with chronic pain. I still live at home and I'm trying so hard to break the codependency because it's keeping me sick. I've been anorexic for almost 13 years. I've been IP about 5 times and I was resi for three months a few years ago. Then I lost my insurance and haven't been able to get any medical or psych help since. I live in an area that only has a couple AA meetings, so I have no support groups local and applicable to me.

I really wish I could get my head straight long enough to move out. My mom and I are toxic for each other. Growing up with her was very hard and I'm ashamed to say I resent her for it and take it out on her too often.

There is a county mental health center that works on a sliding scale, but they never returned my calls so I finally gave up trying. I can't afford anything else because right now I'm just struggling to afford what little food I can make myself eat.

I'm not really sure what my point is. I guess I'm hoping an online support group is a good place to start. I see there's something here for everyone; there's a forum for depression, anxiety, ED, and friends and family, so I hope this can be a temporary substitute for the therapy I would be getting if I could afford it. Hopefully people here also have ideas about how to find help and medical treatment when you're uninsured because I feel like I've exhausted all options.

Thanks for listening. I don't mean to rant. I just don't know what else to do right now. I feel like I'm losing it
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Old 03-12-2012, 04:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR! You aren't ranting - it's understandable that you're confused. You have many things going on in your life and you need some encouragement & hope.

As you already know, we have a Friends & Family forum that would probably be very helpful to start out with. I'm sorry for the pain you're going through, but you will find some help and relief here.
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Old 03-12-2012, 05:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thanks. I definitely plan on exploring the Friends and Family forum in the morning or later tonight if I can't sleep.
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Old 03-12-2012, 05:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
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That's great. No matter how alone you feel, someone's always been through a similar situation. I hope this will be the start of you feeling better and finding your way towards a better life.
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You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle

A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

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Old 03-12-2012, 06:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR! This is the best online support group ever! Best wishes, love.
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Old 03-12-2012, 06:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome!

You will always find lots of support here.
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Old 03-12-2012, 07:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR! I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. Living with someoone bi-polar is very, very difficult. Please keep reading and posting - it will help. Take care and best wishes. P.S. Is there an alanon meeting near you?
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Old 03-12-2012, 07:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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to the family! You'll find good friends here, I know I have. Do take advantage of all the different forums. SR has a lot to offer.
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:55 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Where there's AA, there's Al Anon.

Welcome to SR!!
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:56 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR! I don't have any useful info for you, but thank you for sharing your story. Best wishes to you.
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