Boyfriend Relapsed - Please Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 10
Boyfriend Relapsed - Please Help
I first posted this in substance abuse but think it may fit better here?
Hello All! I am new to this forum and new to this type of situation. I am hoping you can give me some advice. My boyfriend is in recovery from his addiction to pills. He became clean because he over dosed and went to rehab. I was not with him at the time we did not meet until afterwards. It has not been a year since he went to rehab. After getting out of rehab he started to drink again and smoke occasionally. When I met him he told me he was clean from pills but now I am realizing he wasn't. I think he started to take them again gradually and gradually. Lately it has been getting worst and out of hand. I've noticed and brought it up to him but it wasn't until this weekend when he actually admitted hes been taking them. Even still I don't think he is telling the truth about how often he has been taking them. I just find myself in a difficult situation and not being in this situation before or even really having a close relationship with someone with a drug addiction I am not sure what to do. His mom and I talk openly about his problem and she mentioned if I ever notice him doing pills again or something like that to bring it to her attention. She does not know he drinks or smokes often. The problem I am experiencing is that if I tell his mom she will kick him out and take his truck which would just end up being a downward spiral for him so I don't think that will help. But I feel like if I keep quiet it's enabling the behavior and if something were to happen to him again I would feel guilty. Do you have any advice as to what I should do? He says he won't do it anymore but I don't think he will just be able to stop completely. I told him I want to help him and be there to support him throughout this recovery that as long as were making positive steps forward and the problem doesn't continue or get worst I will be there for him. Please help any advice is greatly appreciated and I can give you more information if needed! Thanks!
Hello All! I am new to this forum and new to this type of situation. I am hoping you can give me some advice. My boyfriend is in recovery from his addiction to pills. He became clean because he over dosed and went to rehab. I was not with him at the time we did not meet until afterwards. It has not been a year since he went to rehab. After getting out of rehab he started to drink again and smoke occasionally. When I met him he told me he was clean from pills but now I am realizing he wasn't. I think he started to take them again gradually and gradually. Lately it has been getting worst and out of hand. I've noticed and brought it up to him but it wasn't until this weekend when he actually admitted hes been taking them. Even still I don't think he is telling the truth about how often he has been taking them. I just find myself in a difficult situation and not being in this situation before or even really having a close relationship with someone with a drug addiction I am not sure what to do. His mom and I talk openly about his problem and she mentioned if I ever notice him doing pills again or something like that to bring it to her attention. She does not know he drinks or smokes often. The problem I am experiencing is that if I tell his mom she will kick him out and take his truck which would just end up being a downward spiral for him so I don't think that will help. But I feel like if I keep quiet it's enabling the behavior and if something were to happen to him again I would feel guilty. Do you have any advice as to what I should do? He says he won't do it anymore but I don't think he will just be able to stop completely. I told him I want to help him and be there to support him throughout this recovery that as long as were making positive steps forward and the problem doesn't continue or get worst I will be there for him. Please help any advice is greatly appreciated and I can give you more information if needed! Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Here's the deal: You and his mom talk about it. You worry about the bad things that could happen to him. Bad things are lined up to happen. You obviously have issues with him using...
YOU cannot get him clean. The only thing you can actively do is enable. He will use until the pain of using is too great and he decides to stop, he dies, or is willing to chase the desire into the gates of insanity.
I hate to be the one to break it to you but when you live with an alcoholic/addict who begins using again you are likely in for a really rough ride and there is no guarantee it will ever end.
Here's the defenition of addict/alcoholic my sponsor uses:
When I take that first drink or first pill I cannot tell you when I will stop, if I will stop or what I will do before I stop.
Are you ready for this?
It really is very unfortunate that love by itself can't cure someone's addiction. But I'm sorry to tell you that it can't. People can and do get better, but they have to do it for themselves.
Good luck to you. I hope you two really do get better.
YOU cannot get him clean. The only thing you can actively do is enable. He will use until the pain of using is too great and he decides to stop, he dies, or is willing to chase the desire into the gates of insanity.
I hate to be the one to break it to you but when you live with an alcoholic/addict who begins using again you are likely in for a really rough ride and there is no guarantee it will ever end.
Here's the defenition of addict/alcoholic my sponsor uses:
When I take that first drink or first pill I cannot tell you when I will stop, if I will stop or what I will do before I stop.
Are you ready for this?
It really is very unfortunate that love by itself can't cure someone's addiction. But I'm sorry to tell you that it can't. People can and do get better, but they have to do it for themselves.
Good luck to you. I hope you two really do get better.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
