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Old 03-11-2012, 10:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Thinking about moving out of my city


Day 21 here! I've been thinking about moving and starting over. I come from a smaller city and it's so familiar and comfortable here that it becomes easy to get sucked back into the gauntlet. I'm wondering have any of you ever moved to another city and if so - was it in your best interest?
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Old 03-11-2012, 11:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Where ever I go, there I am.

Now, for the stress and anxiety of moving....

moving creates anxiety
do you have a job lined up?
have a place lined up?
got enough money to live on?
21 days sober isn't long....no matter where you go, the "gauntlet" is there
what's your support network like? will you have one there?
what ifs.....

Geographical "cures" don't really help, as I've heard from others. What's your real motivation? What program of recovery are you working? There's so much not said here.

If you are grounded in your sobriety, why not move? If you aren't, maybe really look into your goals, ability to handle the unknowns, and your true motives. Hmmm, well, it's your choice, no matter what......

Keep us informed!
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Old 03-11-2012, 11:15 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Some people move to forget, and after awhile they forget why they moved in the first place, and end up at the beginning wanting to move again to forget.
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Old 03-11-2012, 11:17 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I don't think it's necessarily the best idea. It's not really possible to run away from your problems. Even if you could run away, it's better to try and learn from your mistakes and learn to live in the thick of it, rather than running away or trying to insulate yourself from life.
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Old 03-11-2012, 11:29 AM   #5 (permalink)
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well have a family bar here where i am so i always have access to liquor. In regards to a job, my resume is amazing and I have held down a job for years so not worried in that sense. I have enough money to move and survive for a few months. I am not new to sobriety and have been going back and forth with relapse and sobriety for a few years. I have tons of support in the sense that my family and friends are there for me. im just throwing the idea out there.
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Old 03-11-2012, 11:33 AM   #6 (permalink)
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i DID the "geographic" treatment for my cocaine addiction.. So then I switched addictions- booze n pot. took another 14+ yrs to get into recovery.

Like Sugarbear sez- wherever I go...there I am

And I always say, you could have dropped me near the arctic circle and it would only have taken a couple days for me to score...

Meetings [NA, AA] gave me a way to switch from losers to winners...
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Old 03-11-2012, 03:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I did a geographical of sorts. Ended up in Flagstaff Arizona for several years. Met a bunch of nice hispanic importers and got right back in the game, bigger than ever, imagine that.

Geographicals generally do not work.

For the first year of sobriety, I've heard it suggested no major changes. 90 meetings in 90 days, a meeting a day, minimum. 2 or more a day if needed.

Get a sponsor, work the steps, do service work, after year, then think about changes.

Just what I've seen work.
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Old 03-11-2012, 04:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Funnlily enough I've been thinking the same thing. I've lived in this town for nearly 30 years and I just want to get the hell out of dodge. A lot of it is because I have a lot of bad memories of this place. I wish to leave, and never return.

The wife and I have finally entered into serious talks about it. I think it's just what we need.
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Old 03-11-2012, 08:41 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Funnlily enough I've been thinking the same thing. I've lived in this town for nearly 30 years and I just want to get the hell out of dodge. A lot of it is because I have a lot of bad memories of this place. I wish to leave, and never return.

The wife and I have finally entered into serious talks about it. I think it's just what we need.
Moving to a new place can be a great thing, even more so if you do not have to take any "baggage".

My wife and I talk about it as well, I think that is healthy.

Glad to hear about another husband and wife that communicate - I know my wife and I do in a far better manner than when I was using!
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Old 03-11-2012, 09:35 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I've moved before than after that I moved back. Than after that I moved away. Than came back and moved again. I really didn't change anything other than finding the same thing wherever I went. I had to see what was following me. Oh yeah it was me all along.

I still move. Just not moving for the same reasons now when I move.
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Old 03-12-2012, 05:03 PM   #11 (permalink)
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thanks, i think move is good for the soul, just to start anew. I am seriously considering it. thanks for the support
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Old 03-12-2012, 06:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Glad to hear about another husband and wife that communicate - I know my wife and I do in a far better manner than when I was using!
Our marriage still ain't in the greatest place. We don't communicate on the important stuff really, which is sad.
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Old 03-12-2012, 11:28 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I did exactly that. It worked, until I wanted to find some.. But I definently know it helped to get me clean initially because I sure wasn't going out meeting people or even thinking about talking to ppl in withdrawal. Now, I am withdrawaling so it didn't last. It all depends on where your at on your road of recovery
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Old 03-13-2012, 01:57 PM   #14 (permalink)
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glad you posted this. i'm moving to a new city (chicago,boston, or nyc depending on which school) in 2 months with my boyfriend who is going to law school. he is also sober. we are both really excited to try a new place! we have promised each other to get active in the new city's aa fellowship right away, get new sponsors and commitments, etc. i'll have like 10 months sober by the time we move. he will have almost 5 years.

it's very exciting!
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Old 03-13-2012, 03:02 PM   #15 (permalink)
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i've been thinking a lot about moving back to Los Angeles at some point this year. i feel like its time for me to move on with my life. I have a decent job here in Santa Barbara but I don't like living here, I have too many bad drinking memories of this place and its too expensive to live here. my counselor advised me against making any geographical changes this early in my sobriety and I agree with him, especially since I don't have a job lined up yet. i still think about moving constantly though and might start "getting the ball rolling" on finding employment once I have 6 months sober (4/12/12). when will I know whether I'm "grounded in my sobriety" enough to make changes in my life?
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Old 03-16-2012, 05:45 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Our marriage still ain't in the greatest place. We don't communicate on the important stuff really, which is sad.
I dunno, have to pick your battles - sometimes the stuff that does not seem that important really is what is important, if that makes any since....
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Old 03-16-2012, 06:23 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I moved in the first week of my recovery (for husband's job) and it was the best thing I could have done. It was a long-distance move and to an area where English was not the first language. I truly believe that it was the Universe's plan for me because I me who met people who mentored me and got involved in volunteer work that changed my life.
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Old 03-16-2012, 07:13 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Our marriage still ain't in the greatest place. We don't communicate on the important stuff really, which is sad.
Probably time to do something 'bout that, huh?
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Old 03-16-2012, 08:06 AM   #19 (permalink)
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It's a tough call. I definitely don't think moving is going to "solve" anything. There's negative influence everywhere and living in a new place poses new challenges. Unless you're within an hour of your family, you won't see them much. Nor will you see your friends. Making new friends AND finding a job AND finding meetings AND finding housing can be very overwhelming.
I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I agree with a lot of people in that it's just what some of us need. But I suggest at least landing a job in the new place before up and moving. My partner and I both thought it would be super easy for her to find a job when we moved. Great resume, fantastic references, some publications, etc... NOPE She still doesn't have anything close to what she had before. It's disappointing to her and not good for self esteem.
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