Akashic

Howdy,

My name is Akashic, I am 24 years old. Ever since I was maybe 16 or 17yrs old I have smoked marijuana constantly. When I was 20-21 I started drinking every once in a while. It slowly built up to where it is now a problem to my wife.
Shes doesn't mind me smoking. But when ever I don't have any marijuana I repulsively go out and buy booze and get drunk.

Gonna post this. Getting tired I'll write more tomorrow evening.

Dee74

Hi and welcome akashic
The two used to be intertwined for me too and frankly both were pretty bad for me.

I'm much happier now I'm addiction free - this place had a lot to do with that for me...I know you'll find a lot of support and ideas here too

D


.

Sapling

Are you asking which one can screw your life up more?...For me it was pretty close...But having done both a long time...Alcohol won out...I know my wife didn't leave me for my pot smoking...And I haven't lost every job I've ever had because of pot...Smoking didn't make me hurt the people I did like alcohol did...And I did some major damage to people...Including myself...While drinking. I think all smoking pot did for me...Was it made me not want to do anything...Alcohol made me want to do everything I did badly......I had to get alcohol out of my life...And I did...But I couldn't take a chance at getting stoned one day and forgetting why I quit drinking...So that went along with it...You know what I found out?....It's kind of cool being yourself without trying to make your mind different.

Sapling

Oh and welcome to the site...It's a nice place to hang out..

jobei

Would you rather have a broken arm or a broken leg? That's how it feels to me... I'd rather have neither!! (In my life alcohol is the broken leg)

Dazee

Welcome to SR

eJoshua

Good question, simple answer: Neither.

Welcome to SR.

Stang

Alcohol is 10 times worse than weed ever thought about being.

flutter

For my own mental/physical health, being addiction free as Dee put it, was the best choice for me.

ReadyAndAble

Hi, Akashic. Welcome to SR. Glad you're reaching out and thinking about this now, before a few years or decades slip by.

I agree with Sapling. One definitely brutalized me more than the other. But I also agree that Door No. 3 is the best choice: getting clear of both. That's where you wake up to find yourself with a new kind of strength and freedom, where you start to discover that life without either is richer, fuller, and much more satisfying. That was a real surprise for me.

jocata

Both caused many problems for me. Didn't matter which one I was using at any given time. I would use either just as vigorously as the other, meaning I would put either before my family, my health, my business, my everything.

Plus where I live maryjane is illegal. I really don't want my kids to see me get arrested for possession.

God bless.

Akashic

Thank you everyone for the responses. And sorry I haven't been back to the forums for a few days.

For me marijuana doesn't make me lazy or anything It just makes me want to play more guitar. :P . I can and have quit smoking prior to getting a job and such.

Also you must know this urge to drink and whenever I drink is at night when everyone in the house is asleep or Iam by myself at night.

The thing is I dont want to drink anymore, at all. I can deal with the marijuana on my part its just Iam having a hard time NOT drinking.
When I want to smoke and can't it's fine with me because there's a benefit going along with it. Like for instance, getting a job.

It seems so easy to me to quit drinking, but yet theres this urge I have where I tell my self, "I am having a good time right now, but booze will make it better."

When Iam on the way to buy alcohol I always ask my self "Do i really want to?"
That thought goes in my head until the time I purchase it. Deep inside I dont want to buy booze. Buy i still do because of the fact that iam going to have a better time with the current time i have to offer it (in my head).

I have so many thoughts and words I want to tell people and never had the right place or people to tell. Until i stumbled to this forum. thank you everyone for listening.

I maybe random in my posts but i can tell you I will be back... Its gonna take some time for me to confess my addictions and problems that i have been pondering alone for years.

Thank you soberrecovery.com




I have some history and problems I would love to discuss with you guys, But iam gonna slowly lead you into the info of my life. Please help me quit drinking.

Sapling

I had that thought for far too long...I can tell you from experience...It doesn't make ANYTHING better...I hope you don't have to find that out..Like I did...

Sapling

When you are truly ready...We'll be here...

Scolova

I reached the point with weed where it took me in the wrong direction, didn't get high anymore, got low as in heart pounding - severe paranoia and depression. I had smoked ~daily throughout my 20s and that was a relatively new feeling for me and I didn't like it, not one bit. Look back now, I believe that is when the the alcoholic in me woke up and took over my life through my 30s, there was so much time in my day which I use to fill with smoking weed... (or doing stuff I really thought I did better while high or just trying to be high all day.)
Do not fall into that trap. Get sober (for more than just a week or two) and see how you feel, it gets harder to quit with every drinking session. best wishes.

ChickenStu

Getting a lot of identification here. A marijauna habit was the first sign of my alcoholism - and inevitable I moved onto that when I gave up the weed.

A good friend of mine in the fellowship says that all people on the "marijauna maintenence programme" are smoking their alcohol. Simply put, it's not WHAT we take, it's WHY we take it.

Both are as bad as each other. Sobriety is the only answer. And the news isn't bad.

macknacat

seems like i was an "active" abuser of my life on booze- a "neglectful" abuser w/ pot ... so which is worse- the parent or beats his kid or the one who abandons his child?

langkah

Same deal. Pot was nothing at all to stop when I had a reason and decided to but getting drunk stayed and became a continual mystery to me as to why I couldn't shake it for long.

I won't go through my many rationalizations while that went on for those years. Bottom line surprisingly was that I was an alcoholic. Through that lens my life made sense.

dawnrunner

Long-term heavy pot smoking is associated with personality changes of an unpleasant sort (person becomes more combative, hyper-sensitive, grandiose) and paranoia. I'm not sure what constitutes "heavy" but I have seen several studies in abstracts.

A lot of my friends still think it is completely harmless, and can't see that over the years their lives and relationships have been hugely affected by it.

I'm still for its legalization, since the U.S. 'war on drugs' has been socially costly to an extreme degree - loading up our prisons for minor crimes, and creating a murderous underground market.

sugarbear1

I couldn't imagine life without my pot, but somehow alcohol came into the scene. For me, the last pot I got, ripped off 'cause it wasn't the right amount for the $, didn't work. I didn't get a lovely buzz, which meant "out of my head." I ran out, refused to get ripped off again, then stopped my beer 4 days later.

I haven't missed either one in 300 days now (304 for pot). As long as I don't drink, I don't want pot, as long as I don't smoke, I don't get realllllllly thirsty! I enjoy having a clear mind.

Getting off both and working on staying stopped has shown me how much both effected my brain and thinking. My "brain fog" (inability to think things through clearly) was evident for many months, in fact, I attribute my current yet sporadic brain "malfunctions" as a direct result of my years of pot smoking. And for this alcoholic, pot really was my "smoking alcohol" when I couldn't drink.

Why bother? The amount of money spent on either is appalling!

I wish you a sober journey! Now that's a real trip! (last night I watched a Harold and Kumar movie, sober. That was still funny!)