my husband lied to me.
 

So i my husband has described himself as an an agnostic to me for all these years (been together 11) and tonight he says he's an atheist. I hate it. How can he be in Al-Anon as an athiest? I feel like he's lied to me and is just giving me lip service yet again. I'll keep going to AA but we just had a knock down drag out fight. I took my pillow and a blanket to the couch. I feel betrayed. How can you believe in a Higher Power if you believe in nothing? :headbange

I'm an atheist. I've been to many AA meetings. My higher power is the collective will of the other attendees. It's not church!

I don't believe in the church either. I just don't know if he believes in the collective power of the group. Maybe it's just been a big misunderstanding. I just think he throws around terms sometimes.

Lots of miscommunications of both of our parts and i guess some things that he's changed his mind about that he hasn't told me but he believes in the community which is good. I love him and though i believe i can do it without him, i don't want to. Thanks a ton Jitterbugg for putting things into perspective.perspective

Hey Grits...Just have faith in what you believe in...That will carry you.....I heard something cool in a meeting the other day...Bill Wilson...Who was an agnostic before he had his Sprititual Awakening and wrote the Big Book with some help from fellow alkies...Said once that he felt kind of bad for athiests...Because when they had miracles happen in their lives...They had no one to thank for it...Glad to see you are on the path Grits...Give it all you got and don't be afraid to ask for help...

Agnostics are just vacillating atheists.

Bingo ! We really have to learn to be honest, focused and specific when we are communicating or debating. That's why "principals before personalities" is so important as well.

Read don Miguel Ruiz's book "The 4 agreements" (just google to see the agreements which will help).

All the best.

Bob

Atheism doesn't mean you believe in nothing. It means you don't believe in god or gods. There are plenty of powers greater than ourselves that are not gods. Gravity, physics, consciousness, the list goes on. Higher power for an atheist does not have to be group consciousness, either.

Agnosticism isn't vacillating atheism, it's more like not taking a stand either way for or against the existence of god or gods. It's quite simply saying, "I don't know", or "it is impossible to know".

You've been around SR for quite a while DG, do you really need to ask this question? If so, you have either not been reading other threads, or you nave not been processing what you are reading.

Sounds to me like you've found a reason to take the attention off your past and recent lying, and thrown it at your husband.

Personally, I don't don't see much of a leap from agnostic, to atheist, or vice versa. Also, on that note, people are allowed to change, isn't that why we are all here?

I really think you're focusing on something that's not 'your recovery'. I know I had put all my energy into my recovery in the early days. Why not allow your husband to recover in his own way. Patience and acceptance can really help recovery. :)

I am an atheist. I have said (and meant) that I am agnostic. The two aren't light years away from each other in meaning, really. Agnostic pretty much just means that you're not sure *if* 'something else' exists.. Atheists such as myself can certainly feel that way.. I don't believe there is a God, but I don't claim to know that for sure. I believe in a lot of things that are more powerful than I am. A lot of people find meaningful recovery without believing in God. Focus on you..

I believe the whole God, atheist, spirituality blah blah argument is just a distraction from commitment to being sober.

It's like arguing about where the deck chairs should sit while the Titanic is sinking. Just jump in the damn lifeboat. :)

LOL!!

God bless.

My wife is a dyslexic agnostic insomniac. She says that she lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

And none of that has anything to do with my journey to sobriety.

I like that...

Well I understand how you feel Grits. My stepmother told me she and my father are now atheists. I can't believe how upset I was! My father brought me up to be a christian and now he's an atheist? It still bothers me. But it's not in the context of AA. I guess you should concentrate on your own beliefs, maybe he's just trying to bug you. Put yourself first!

His recovery is his business, Grits...

I think i was distracting myself from my journey. We had a major talk last night and came to a huge understanding. As i said, just a ton of hurt feelings and miscommunication. Thanks everyone for putting it in perspective!