DisplacedGRITS

So i am going to dedicate myself to 90 meetings in 90 days. I went to a meeting yesterday and went to an open (and HUGE) meeting today with my husband. I have a 10:30 AM meeting tomorrow morning and 10 AM meetings all this week with a 7:30 couples meeting Friday night. I may not me able to show up to the Friday PM meeting until after 8 due to work but i spoke with the people and that's ok. I'm gonna speak with my boss (he knows all about my alcoholism and is supportive) and see if i can leave a little early. If not, the meeting is a 5new minute drive from my my work to my house to the meeting max. I'm finally feeling like i have something to really work for. Something to work towards. I have vodka in the house. My husband dosen't know. When he takes his shower tonight, i'm pouring it out. I drank last night and took my sedative meds. My blood pressure dropped so low i kept having tunnle vision when i tried to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I nearly passed out several times. I'M SICK OF IT! I've never poured out booze before so i think this will be a big step for me. I talked to my husband about my Higher Power today and i think i'm finally starting to understand what it means for me.
My higher power is my connection to my husband, my connectionmy to my family, my connectionmy to my friends my connection to my community (which i must develop), my connection to the world , my connection to the universe and most importantly my connection to myself.

In other news, i had a lovely day overall. I went to brunch with my husband. Also, i'm bulemic but i had a reasonable brunch (yogurt and fruit parfet with granola) and spent 5.5 hours at the zoo walking all day. Was actually sober the whole time since i hadn't drunk a lot last night (just a nasty combo of meds and booze that subsided around 4 AM). All in all, an enlightening day i hope to build on.

Paralegal

Wishing you well......I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired myself have had a really rough run full blown active alcoholism, i was blessed with a windfall and I have been drinking to epidemic proportions over the last three months...its scary... but sober today and looking forward to being sober and healing....Hang in there I had 14 months of sobriety previously and I was so happy.

DisplacedGRITS

You can have sobriety again Paralegal. My longest run in the past was 3 months max. I want years now. Years unto forever.

jocata

Sounds like you've got the motivation Grits. Good for you girl!!

I know you can do it.

God bless.

sugarbear1

It's heartwarming to hear you just now, Grits!!! You go!!

Paralegal, Welcome! (there's a "new thread" button on the Newcomer's Page if you want to introduce yourself!)

to your sober journey!

DisplacedGRITS

Whew! Hubby is in the shower and i poured the bottle i had hidden in the room down the drain and the one hidden in the garage in the back yard. This sh*t is out of my life at least for tonight and i hope for forever. I am just so happy that i cannot drink tonight.

DisplacedGRITS

For the first time in a long time, i feel powerful. I feel honest and i feel strong. I just want to keep these feelings. I think staying on my meds have and will help a lot.

DisplacedGRITS

Well, i don't know why but i confessed to my husband. I guess i just wanted him to know the extent of my boozing and my other clever little hiding spots. At least he knows. Funny, at the meeting tonight the AA speaker mentioned hiding booze and it always kills me to hear me that other alcoholics do it as well. Sometimes i feel like the only one.

Luckyv2

One of my favorites was between the insulation in a wall and the wall. Kinda like a wall safe but not really

and keep up the good work at hitting your meetings. It almost makes me want to recommit to a 90 and 90

sugarbear1

I hid it behind the veggies in the drawer. From myself. Cause I hit that point and passed out, then I would look in the drawer the next day. LOL

Sapling

We have a great thread here that proves you aren't alone..You might want to add on to it...Sounds like you are doing great Grits...Grab it by the horns!!

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...g-alcohol.html

DisplacedGRITS

Third day, third meeting. I met one on one with a lady during the second half of the meeting and it was great. Long walk with the husband, another 10 AM meeting tomorrow and all week. Friday i have a morning meeting then an evening meeting focused on couples that my husband will also be attending. I had to call my bosses and ask to leave early but they are totally cool with my recovery. Woohoo!

Sapling

That's awesome Grits!!...

BethS

90 in 90 is an awesome idea because you're obligated when you need it the most and maybe the novelty is wearing off. It gave me a great start on my sobriety. Make sure to take numbers as well and go out afterwards for coffee if you can.

DisplacedGRITS

Thanks for the advice, BethS. Coffee is a great idea. I've got a couple of numbers so far.