I'm scared because I don't think I have hit rock bottom yet.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
If you haven't yet had anything terrible happen to you, consider yourself lucky. However, if you're still thinking you might be able to drink again at some point, you will find it very difficult to stop drinking.
Alcoholism is a terrible and progressive disease and it will get worse if you don't stop drinking.
I came very close to losing my family and my life. Thankfully, I was given a chance to get it right, and I have.
Alcoholism is a terrible and progressive disease and it will get worse if you don't stop drinking.
I came very close to losing my family and my life. Thankfully, I was given a chance to get it right, and I have.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
What would be your rock bottom? I mean, you don't actually want to find that, do you?
I've had a few experiences that made me think, WOW, I can't believe I let myself get that bad. One time was when I couldn't find my car at the airport b/c I was drunk when I parked it 2 days earlier. I was embarrassed to ask for help from security. Another was when I left my cat outside all night in the cold even though he snuck out ALL the time. But I should have noticed. Drinking at work. Countless numbers of embarrassing moments that should have easily been avoided.
You don't have to kill someone with your car, you don't have to lose your job/husband/kids/etc before you hit YOUR rock bottom.
Rock bottom means different things to different people.
I've had a few experiences that made me think, WOW, I can't believe I let myself get that bad. One time was when I couldn't find my car at the airport b/c I was drunk when I parked it 2 days earlier. I was embarrassed to ask for help from security. Another was when I left my cat outside all night in the cold even though he snuck out ALL the time. But I should have noticed. Drinking at work. Countless numbers of embarrassing moments that should have easily been avoided.
You don't have to kill someone with your car, you don't have to lose your job/husband/kids/etc before you hit YOUR rock bottom.
Rock bottom means different things to different people.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
My 'rock bottom' was, as Dee said, a decision that I couldn't go on the way I was doing. I stopped digging a deeper hole and got out of the one I'd already dug. My life is infinately better now that I'm sober.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Here's another way to look at this. Stop drinking for 90 days. If, after 90 days, you feel comfortable in your own skin and life is still wonderful, then alcohol was the problem. Don't drink alcohol and your happy life will continue!
If, after 90 days, you aren't comfortable in your own skin and life isn't so beautiful, go back to AA meetings and ask for help. Alcohol had been your solution and you are the problem. There is a new solution in the steps of AA.
If you find yourself consumed with thoughts of what you will drink on day 91, get to meetings now and listen, someone will share your story.
I wish you well!
If, after 90 days, you aren't comfortable in your own skin and life isn't so beautiful, go back to AA meetings and ask for help. Alcohol had been your solution and you are the problem. There is a new solution in the steps of AA.
If you find yourself consumed with thoughts of what you will drink on day 91, get to meetings now and listen, someone will share your story.
I wish you well!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
And on another note, rock bottom can be when something is bothering you and you want to drink, but you know it isn't really going to help, not drinking isn't working either.
You are then between a rock and a hard place. Again, AA has the solution in the 12 steps.
Drinking or not drinking, life is horrible (or even an emotional "bottom" inside of you).
Losing things isn't rock bottom. It's an inside job!
You are then between a rock and a hard place. Again, AA has the solution in the 12 steps.
Drinking or not drinking, life is horrible (or even an emotional "bottom" inside of you).
Losing things isn't rock bottom. It's an inside job!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I've posted this before, but the Buddha's teaching of the poisoned arrow always comes to mind when the "why?" questions come up. Here it it for those not familiar:
Holly...yank out the arrow and enjoy your life fully present
"Suppose a man is struck by a poisoned arrow and the doctor wishes to take out the arrow immediately. Suppose the man does not want the arrow removed until he knows who shot it, his age, his parents, and why he shot it. What would happen? If he were to wait until all these questions have been answered, the man might die first." Life is so short. It must not be spent in endless metaphysical speculation that does not bring us any closer to the truth.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
I remember a member here posting that after years of unsuccessfully getting a grip on her addiction, she was wondering if she just hadn't hit bottom yet.
She described her descent as being the equivalent of falling from the top of a mighty tree, and as she fell, her body would twist and bounce off the branches she encountered, as if they slowed her down at the cost of incredible pain. She wondered how many more branches were still below her to catch her before she plummeted to the ground, and if, in fact, she had to go "splat" on the ground to do anything about her situation. I remember thinking I hope you survive the impact.
I have no answer to that question, but I remember thinking, "Grab a branch and stop the slide". I wonder how true it is that when you smack that first branch, is the pain endurable and you just decide to keep sliding, or does your natural inclination tell you grab that branch to stop the pain, and then climb down without having mangled body and bones.
I suppose your post brings up the reason why I hate war stories and drunkologues - some people hear them quite literally and focus on the "Oh, I'm not that bad yet" and at times question their own problems because they do a side-by-side comparison. For me, it just kept me shifting my line in the sand which delineated my self-created boundary into full-fledged, physical addiction and all the lovely mind games that ensue over and above the physical addiction.
When you hear a story, try to imagine how that person FELT at the time of the incident. I know myself; I often use humor or anger to deflect pain, so while I'm smiling on the outside, there's probably some pain underneath it.
I also am fond of the "I have not done that YET" way of thinking, because my own experience tells me that not only can I cross the line, I inevitably will - albeit in my own style.
I still think, however, that the solution to all of these problems lies in what we do with Today that helps us make the change needed.
She described her descent as being the equivalent of falling from the top of a mighty tree, and as she fell, her body would twist and bounce off the branches she encountered, as if they slowed her down at the cost of incredible pain. She wondered how many more branches were still below her to catch her before she plummeted to the ground, and if, in fact, she had to go "splat" on the ground to do anything about her situation. I remember thinking I hope you survive the impact.
I have no answer to that question, but I remember thinking, "Grab a branch and stop the slide". I wonder how true it is that when you smack that first branch, is the pain endurable and you just decide to keep sliding, or does your natural inclination tell you grab that branch to stop the pain, and then climb down without having mangled body and bones.
I suppose your post brings up the reason why I hate war stories and drunkologues - some people hear them quite literally and focus on the "Oh, I'm not that bad yet" and at times question their own problems because they do a side-by-side comparison. For me, it just kept me shifting my line in the sand which delineated my self-created boundary into full-fledged, physical addiction and all the lovely mind games that ensue over and above the physical addiction.
When you hear a story, try to imagine how that person FELT at the time of the incident. I know myself; I often use humor or anger to deflect pain, so while I'm smiling on the outside, there's probably some pain underneath it.
I also am fond of the "I have not done that YET" way of thinking, because my own experience tells me that not only can I cross the line, I inevitably will - albeit in my own style.
I still think, however, that the solution to all of these problems lies in what we do with Today that helps us make the change needed.
Editor
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Posts: 1,516
As many have stated...rock bottom is different for everyone. Rock bottom for me was struggling out of bed and looking in the mirror and seeing a dying 41 year old who had run the course. I tried quitting 100's of times for different reasons....always falling back into the I have a great job and home...I have a great life....I cant be an alcoholic mentality. Guess what....It only got worse over the years and seeing myself as a dying drunk always looking forward to my next drink did it for me. I pray that you can find your path and start living life. That was the biggest difference for me. I am living now instead of surviving. If you came here...you know better than anyone that there is a better way.
Peace
Dave
Peace
Dave
So it goes
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,620
I think Rock Bottom is the one time alcohol is on your side. It says to you " Look I can whup you down to this level, do you still want to play with me because I will win every time"
If you give up, you have a chance of walking away before alcohol finds another rock bottom for you
I hit 2 rock bottoms before I walked away, I am sure alcohol had a few more lined up for me.
Take the chance and walk, alcohol will find another friend.
If you give up, you have a chance of walking away before alcohol finds another rock bottom for you
I hit 2 rock bottoms before I walked away, I am sure alcohol had a few more lined up for me.
Take the chance and walk, alcohol will find another friend.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
My rock bottom wasn't really an event, I'd been through the ERs, the cops, etc, but it was a comparatively minor incident that made me quit, and more an inner intuition.
As they say, some people hit 'rock bottom' and just keep digging. Sometimes unfortunately I think we focus on extremes in recovery. Part of the reason is that we seem to associate the word 'alcoholic' with so many extreme examples, the stereotype. I will identify myself as an alcoholic, but I know people who went through a lot more than I did before getting sober.
As they say, some people hit 'rock bottom' and just keep digging. Sometimes unfortunately I think we focus on extremes in recovery. Part of the reason is that we seem to associate the word 'alcoholic' with so many extreme examples, the stereotype. I will identify myself as an alcoholic, but I know people who went through a lot more than I did before getting sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 471
I didn't have one seriously bad thing happen to me while drinking. I don't really know why I began drinking other than "escaping" from anxiety and depression. All I know is that I got to a point where I realized I wasn't going to survive emotionally and mentally living the way I was. I had to decide that I was worth more than the life I was living and treat myself that way. I guess my "rock bottom" was realizing how horrible I was treating myself and finally believing that I deserved better. Not as dramatic a rock bottom as some, but effective nonetheless.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Menominee Mi
Posts: 112
Aa meetings
I haven't hit bottom yet either and I don't want to. I hope and pray I'm smarter then that.
Think of it that way. I go to AA meetings 3-4 times a week. I was going even when I was drinking. I'm sober almost 24 hours now. I'm on here trying to stay that way. But the meetings, I was nervous at first. I didn't think I was like them. Now they are all my new friends and hope for a better future.I'm lucky that I found a great home group. I found a sponsor but I don't know if she is the right one for me. She is kind of a home body and I'm very active. She is a wonderful person. Try the meetings for a while. If you make some friends there the outside world of drinkers might show some balance
good luck to you
Diana
Think of it that way. I go to AA meetings 3-4 times a week. I was going even when I was drinking. I'm sober almost 24 hours now. I'm on here trying to stay that way. But the meetings, I was nervous at first. I didn't think I was like them. Now they are all my new friends and hope for a better future.I'm lucky that I found a great home group. I found a sponsor but I don't know if she is the right one for me. She is kind of a home body and I'm very active. She is a wonderful person. Try the meetings for a while. If you make some friends there the outside world of drinkers might show some balance
good luck to you
Diana
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: London, UK
Posts: 92
I read the biography/memoir of The Late Late Show's Craig Ferguson a recovering alcoholic and he said it wasn't if he'd hit rock bottom, it was how many times can he hit rock bottom before he did something about it. This rings true for me, there was many a time when I woke up saying never again to myself, only to pick up a drink that evening.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
"Rock bottom" and not having reached it -- this thought has caused many a relapse. "War story" AA meetings: have enabled many a relapse. Depressing AA meetings where everyone moans about their "disease" which has "taken everything"; ditto. Find a better meeting as said above.
I believe the whole concept of rock bottom is bogus, frankly. We all have different thresholds for desperation and the determination to change.
Some people go as far as prison time; some people accidentally kill their children, some people wake up sick once too many times, and some people just feel the chill wing of fear touch their cheek one day: fear that they are throwing life away with both hands.
And as far as "reasons why we drink/drug": I believe that too is a mistaken search. There is one reason why I drank, and that is that I have the physiology of proneness to alcohol addiction. At times I wove all kinds of embroideries over that: I am hurting, I am so happy, I am lonely and neglected, I am so smart I need to slow my brain down (hahahaha), I was emotionally abused as a child, etc.
All baloney. Don't even think about why you drank; think about how much you love yourself sober. Keep walking toward health and sanity and life.
I believe the whole concept of rock bottom is bogus, frankly. We all have different thresholds for desperation and the determination to change.
Some people go as far as prison time; some people accidentally kill their children, some people wake up sick once too many times, and some people just feel the chill wing of fear touch their cheek one day: fear that they are throwing life away with both hands.
And as far as "reasons why we drink/drug": I believe that too is a mistaken search. There is one reason why I drank, and that is that I have the physiology of proneness to alcohol addiction. At times I wove all kinds of embroideries over that: I am hurting, I am so happy, I am lonely and neglected, I am so smart I need to slow my brain down (hahahaha), I was emotionally abused as a child, etc.
All baloney. Don't even think about why you drank; think about how much you love yourself sober. Keep walking toward health and sanity and life.
SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
Hi Holly, So good to hear of your doubts. I wish I could have gotten more honest from the start about my drinking and I would not of had to suffer quite as much. There are many stories in AA that you may relate to better.
If you are fortunate to make another meeting request a 1st step metting and you may relate.
If you are fortunate to make another meeting request a 1st step metting and you may relate.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
I don't think rock bottom is necessarily the worst thing you ever did or that ever happened to you while drinking. I think it's just that moment when it's crystal clear that it's time to stop. Lots of people decide to get sober before they hit the proverbial " rock bottom". It's different for everyone.
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