Anger issues.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Tony,
I am glad you are here. It really sounds like drinking is a big problem in your life. You might think that your family is driving you to drink. I can imagine they push tender spots in you, because they don't want you to drink. They probably love you. They probably are frightened for you. Fact is, some people lose their lives , ruin their lives, have no life, because they can't stop drinking. they dont want that for you. Your mom obviously wants you to live, and is letting you stay because she loves you.
I let my 39 year old son stay with me, a fewyears ago, since his friends all look the other way now. He drank at their places, did not look for work, etc. if he did find work, he would use the money to get pretty drunk. he lost jobs, almost all of them, due to his calling off of work, because he felt "justified" in having some fun, and "everyone else does it". he got mean while living at a friends, while drunk, and got into a tussle with someone who went at him for his drinking, wasting away habits. he had to leave. no one wants to help him anymore, because he wont see that he has a problem.
He lived with me for a while, drove my extra truck to look for work. he borrowed money for "gas" and used it for drink. because he was "stressed". there were literally garbage bags of bottles, cans, etc. in his room. he ruined my walls, punching them when he got mad at me for standing at his door (he would not open it to talk about this problem) and when i got mad, cause i have hot buttons too, having been raised by two alcoholic parents, he punched numerous holes in walls, tore door off hinges, and screamed loud enough to bother neighbors. vodka made him really mean.
i had to call police one day, he was so drunk, and tearing stuff up in anger . yeah, maybe i should have not argued or plead with him to get help, but it is hard for me to sit by and watch my son drink his self to death with vodka, or anything else. slept for days, did nothing. i bought his tobacco, because i was scared not to. he literally badgered me, and i felt lilke a hostage in my home. i moved away, because he would not leave. he got thrown out by friends. lived in his car in walmart parking lots, i brought him water, food and cigs. bad sad times. finally, he got arrested for having a bowl of pot in his car, a friend brought by for his birthday. cops liked to stop and ask him what he was doing, naturally that is their job. so, he was on street literally, and i took him to a shelter in nearby town. he stayed for a month. he became more real and sorry for his deeds, after seeing that life is not about him, but others matter too. a friend" rescued" him, and he lived there for months before they too moved away, telling him he could not go with them. belive it or not, he was angry at them. once again , i took him in. i do not wish to see my son on the street. even tho it is probably what he deserves, considering that he is a jerk to me most of the time, still isnt working, "says no one is hiring" tho fast food has a tremendous turn over. he just stays on his computer, smokes cigs, and blames the world for his problems. never has he admitted to losing a job over alcohol. never.
he does not drink. i give him no money. i hide my money, medicines. i still buy hs tobacco, because he torments me otherwise, by going late at night and scouring the streets for butts. wish he would work that hard to find work. i cant sleep when i wonder when he will come in, whether he gets knocked in the head at three in the am, by some of the scary people in our town.
i did not mean to bore you with any of this. only to say i do not wish your life to be like my sons. i make him mad when i say he is not doing enough. he will punch another hole in the door has already patched three of them, and screams horrid names at me when he is really mad that i say this is his fault. i know i am not good for him to live with, but i dont do any of this except because i love him, and want him to be alive and eat and sleep in a bed at night. but i want so much more for him. i want him to have a life someday.
please dont blame anyone else for drinking or anger. it might be the way you are looking at things. you have the power to change your life . no one else can do it for you. please, dont waste your life. might be life changing to get to an aa meeting. or to get some counselling. do it before you have too many bad memories to think of for the rest of your life.
bless you honey. you can live without alcohol. much better than you will ever live WITH it.
hugs
chicory
I am glad you are here. It really sounds like drinking is a big problem in your life. You might think that your family is driving you to drink. I can imagine they push tender spots in you, because they don't want you to drink. They probably love you. They probably are frightened for you. Fact is, some people lose their lives , ruin their lives, have no life, because they can't stop drinking. they dont want that for you. Your mom obviously wants you to live, and is letting you stay because she loves you.
I let my 39 year old son stay with me, a fewyears ago, since his friends all look the other way now. He drank at their places, did not look for work, etc. if he did find work, he would use the money to get pretty drunk. he lost jobs, almost all of them, due to his calling off of work, because he felt "justified" in having some fun, and "everyone else does it". he got mean while living at a friends, while drunk, and got into a tussle with someone who went at him for his drinking, wasting away habits. he had to leave. no one wants to help him anymore, because he wont see that he has a problem.
He lived with me for a while, drove my extra truck to look for work. he borrowed money for "gas" and used it for drink. because he was "stressed". there were literally garbage bags of bottles, cans, etc. in his room. he ruined my walls, punching them when he got mad at me for standing at his door (he would not open it to talk about this problem) and when i got mad, cause i have hot buttons too, having been raised by two alcoholic parents, he punched numerous holes in walls, tore door off hinges, and screamed loud enough to bother neighbors. vodka made him really mean.
i had to call police one day, he was so drunk, and tearing stuff up in anger . yeah, maybe i should have not argued or plead with him to get help, but it is hard for me to sit by and watch my son drink his self to death with vodka, or anything else. slept for days, did nothing. i bought his tobacco, because i was scared not to. he literally badgered me, and i felt lilke a hostage in my home. i moved away, because he would not leave. he got thrown out by friends. lived in his car in walmart parking lots, i brought him water, food and cigs. bad sad times. finally, he got arrested for having a bowl of pot in his car, a friend brought by for his birthday. cops liked to stop and ask him what he was doing, naturally that is their job. so, he was on street literally, and i took him to a shelter in nearby town. he stayed for a month. he became more real and sorry for his deeds, after seeing that life is not about him, but others matter too. a friend" rescued" him, and he lived there for months before they too moved away, telling him he could not go with them. belive it or not, he was angry at them. once again , i took him in. i do not wish to see my son on the street. even tho it is probably what he deserves, considering that he is a jerk to me most of the time, still isnt working, "says no one is hiring" tho fast food has a tremendous turn over. he just stays on his computer, smokes cigs, and blames the world for his problems. never has he admitted to losing a job over alcohol. never.
he does not drink. i give him no money. i hide my money, medicines. i still buy hs tobacco, because he torments me otherwise, by going late at night and scouring the streets for butts. wish he would work that hard to find work. i cant sleep when i wonder when he will come in, whether he gets knocked in the head at three in the am, by some of the scary people in our town.
i did not mean to bore you with any of this. only to say i do not wish your life to be like my sons. i make him mad when i say he is not doing enough. he will punch another hole in the door has already patched three of them, and screams horrid names at me when he is really mad that i say this is his fault. i know i am not good for him to live with, but i dont do any of this except because i love him, and want him to be alive and eat and sleep in a bed at night. but i want so much more for him. i want him to have a life someday.
please dont blame anyone else for drinking or anger. it might be the way you are looking at things. you have the power to change your life . no one else can do it for you. please, dont waste your life. might be life changing to get to an aa meeting. or to get some counselling. do it before you have too many bad memories to think of for the rest of your life.
bless you honey. you can live without alcohol. much better than you will ever live WITH it.
hugs
chicory
I hope he gets tired of going nowhere too.
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