hedonistic personality...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
hedonistic personality...
Funny.
I filled in a bunch of questions about my personality online, took me almost an hour. It was for a dating-site so they could match me with a girl.
My character assets are being a little bit old fashioned, ratio over emotion, goal orientated, career-minded, etc. etc. etc. they all quite fit together. The only asset that was completely out or sync in this personality overview...
was my hedonistic side. Creature of pleasure. Seeking satisfaction, quick fixes, pleasure on my mind.
I realised that this was my addiction.
I realised it causes the whole picture of 'me', of my personality to get out of balance.
I realised my pleasure side caused me to have using-abusing partners, so I could use and abuse myself.
Before I even started online dating I gave it up. Instead I didn't smoke weed last night....slept sucky but enough....and since 14/16 hours i'm clean.
I shoudn't be dating. I got more important things to do, such as surviving this dreaded disease called addiction , working on my career, my spirituality. I rather die alone as an old man (bit dramatic since i'm 28 but u get the point) then together with some hot crazy chick wasted....I truely do.
In fact, I applied for some charity work three days ago. Rather help then waste my time wasted, hopefully meet some nice sober(at least no junkys) folks, then have meaningless sex with some girl that doesn't care or understand anything but getting wasted herself.
Never had that before.
This afternoon I got a job interview, and coming tuesday.
I filled in a bunch of questions about my personality online, took me almost an hour. It was for a dating-site so they could match me with a girl.
My character assets are being a little bit old fashioned, ratio over emotion, goal orientated, career-minded, etc. etc. etc. they all quite fit together. The only asset that was completely out or sync in this personality overview...
was my hedonistic side. Creature of pleasure. Seeking satisfaction, quick fixes, pleasure on my mind.
I realised that this was my addiction.
I realised it causes the whole picture of 'me', of my personality to get out of balance.
I realised my pleasure side caused me to have using-abusing partners, so I could use and abuse myself.
Before I even started online dating I gave it up. Instead I didn't smoke weed last night....slept sucky but enough....and since 14/16 hours i'm clean.
I shoudn't be dating. I got more important things to do, such as surviving this dreaded disease called addiction , working on my career, my spirituality. I rather die alone as an old man (bit dramatic since i'm 28 but u get the point) then together with some hot crazy chick wasted....I truely do.
In fact, I applied for some charity work three days ago. Rather help then waste my time wasted, hopefully meet some nice sober(at least no junkys) folks, then have meaningless sex with some girl that doesn't care or understand anything but getting wasted herself.
Never had that before.
This afternoon I got a job interview, and coming tuesday.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
great bit of self awareness- "filling the void" is filling the void.
I think it was Santayana who called us to task for being perpetual 5 yr olds- " I want everything now- ESPECIALLY if some one else has it"
I had several yrs clean. was working in a resort town as a carpenter. soon had a crew. soon had a couple 2 and 3 shift projects T & M . so was netting a bit over $120/ hr..
driving down the road w/ my GF and my 12 yr old son-I was bragging of "being able to buy..."
My son: "Dad , thats not who we are..."
I think it was Santayana who called us to task for being perpetual 5 yr olds- " I want everything now- ESPECIALLY if some one else has it"
I had several yrs clean. was working in a resort town as a carpenter. soon had a crew. soon had a couple 2 and 3 shift projects T & M . so was netting a bit over $120/ hr..
driving down the road w/ my GF and my 12 yr old son-I was bragging of "being able to buy..."
My son: "Dad , thats not who we are..."
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