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-   -   i failed again.. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/250895-i-failed-again.html)

DisplacedGRITS 03-07-2012 02:01 PM

i failed again..
 
I am never happy when i drink. I will try to taper off but i feel like hell. I will try to post here more often and try to go to AA meetings. I'm not an *******. People like me. I am a good person. I just wish i could believe it. I feel like such an ass, i have to tell my tell husband about my current hiding spot. I am scared. I have lied to him si many times, tell, me i can do it. Tell, me i i have the strength.

WhySoSerious 03-07-2012 02:03 PM

you can do it!!! (in the Rob Schneider voice from the waterboy)

but in all seriousness stand strong you can beat this. Ill keep you in my prayers.

Elisabeth888 03-07-2012 02:06 PM

You can do it!

Are you in a position where you can stop and not be in medical danger?

Purplecatlover 03-07-2012 02:10 PM

Do or do not, there is no try.
One of my favorite quotes.
I can't tell you what you can do. Only you can do that. Only YOU can find inner strength.

Do I believe you can overcome this? Absolutely, but YOU have to do the work.

You have to want sobriety more than life itself.
Good luck in whatever path of recovery you choose.

Purplecatlover 03-07-2012 02:15 PM

Have you given 100% to your recovery plan in the past?
What can you do differently now?

Dee74 03-07-2012 02:20 PM

All you have to do is look around dG.
None of us are superhuman - all of us were where you are now :)

You can do this - it will take some changes, some commitment and some brave decisions - but you can do this :)

Welcome back :)

D

CaiHong 03-07-2012 02:21 PM

Hi Displaced Grits,

You can do it. Talk about what led up to the relapse. Getting sober and staying sober involves commitment and doing the work.

Talk about how you feel when you want a drink instead of acting on it. It will not only help you but others who are also struggling with the cravings

CaiHong

Purplecatlover 03-07-2012 02:26 PM

I hope that didn't sound harsh, I totally didn't mean it the way it read.
I've been where you are, in the revolving door of defeat.
It's a horrible place to be.
You can stop drinking. You just have to figure out the best course for you to take.
If AA didn't work in the past, maybe try something else.
We all want you to get better. Life is so much better sober.
Hang in there!

Stang 03-07-2012 02:37 PM


Do or do not, there is no try.
I would say for alcoholism that is better than any quote I know of. It leaves ZERO room for anything else.

DisplacedGRITS 03-07-2012 02:47 PM

I give up. I cannot pretend to beat this disease on my own. Heck, i saw my therapist when i was sober earlier today and she told me that i was a nice, ,likable person. I'm not a a jerk, i just have to convinve myself that i'm not as socially awkward as i feel i am. Btw, thank you all. Your support means the worls to me,

Purplecatlover 03-07-2012 03:17 PM

I believe most alcoholics are above intelligence & have hearts of pure gold.
That might be why we are more likely to drink, to numb our hearts, to dull our senses & thoughts.
Drinking does not define who you are. It is something you do.
You are worth being happy. You deserve to smile at the person in the mirror.
You can love yourself again but you have to stop drinking the "I'm not worthy" poison.
It distorts so much of our self perception.
I had accepted I was always going to be depressed & life would never be different.
Guess what? 7 weeks sober & life is better than I ever dreamed.
You can do this Grits!! Keep fighting. You will win.

Zebra1275 03-07-2012 03:39 PM

People like me. I am a good person.

I'm sure you are.

Damn frustrating isn't it?

Despite the fact that you have great qualities (and I'm sure there are others) this damn disease drags you to the bottom of the lake like a boat anchor. While you know in your heart you have good qualities, it's hard for for others to notice when you are underwater in the murky depths.

Dazee 03-07-2012 03:46 PM

Glad you are back!

prayforstrength 03-07-2012 03:51 PM

Hey DG I'm right there with ya. Had quite a few months under my belt and threw it all away. WE CAN DO THIS!!

I'm rooting for you!

debsam 03-07-2012 04:43 PM

For me DG, I wanted it more than anything else. My life depended on it.

I had to take action - and work at it. The beginning was tough but it ended up being a lot less work than my insane drinking life. Sobriety reaps rewards....boozing gives you nada!

You can do this DG - you keep coming back :)

Big hugs

DisplacedGRITS 03-07-2012 06:20 PM

Thank y'all so much. Today has been rough but the love and support here means everything to me. I think as soon as i am sober i'm gonna try 60 meetings in 60 days. If i can decidadate myself to the drink i should be able to dedicate myself to sobriety. I am so scared of meeting new people.

DisplacedGRITS 03-07-2012 06:21 PM

Thank y'all so much. Today has been rough but the love and support here means everything to me. I think as soon as i am sober i'm gonna try 60 meetings in 60 days. If i can decidadate myself to the drink i should be able to dedicate myself to sobriety. I am so scared of meeting new people.

eJoshua 03-07-2012 06:24 PM

Welcome back, DG! Glad to hear you're taking a positive action towards solid sobriety.


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