triggered
 

Some of you may remember that my mum has cervical cancer and got treatment for it
She had a scan done and the results of the scan she is getting tomorrow
i wont know anything until she is home from the scan so thats about 5-6pm
part of me really wants to have a drink but i know that it wont change the out come of my mums results i was on the phone to her and she was talking about getting drunk with my uncle tomorrow if the out come is good
it kinda triggered me in to wanting a drink... am very worried about the out come of the tests because me mum said that she wont have anymore treatments if it comes back with the cancer still being there.
Last week i managed to go to an AA meeting on my own but there is no way id be able to manage one tonight, because of my social anxiety and mentally i dont feel able to sit in a room full of people i dont know
There is an open meeting tomorrow at 8pm that my husband can come with me to no matter what the out come is i will be going to that AA meeting as i think i will need it

Wanting to drink is a lousy feeling to work through and thinking about doing it only frustrates us all the more. It's good to hear you understand how outside issues can work our insides into a drinking problem.

The worry you have for your mom is sweet and shows you care for others even as you work through your own troubles. You have heart so have courage with your heart. I hope the results show the cancer is in remission or otherwise that the treatment is working. :)

You posting about this shows you dont want that drink. Sure, the alcoholic want is there, but you also can understand the differences between what you really want and what is bothering you. That is awesome.

You can get through this too. You can. :)

Let us know the results of the tests, DA.

Your right, drinking won't change the results. It will only numb things for a while, but then you will be right back where you started. The alcohol and drugs only made my anxiety much worse.

Stay strong.

God bless.

At the moment am drinking cream soda and am so happy that its not whiskey or something else that is alcoholic.
Because i know i must get through this with out drinking or drugs
Like you said jocata it will only numb it for a little while and then i would have to deal with it when am sober and am meaning really deal with it with out self injuring or eating disorder behaviors

My mum is really scared and am scared for her and i pray that it will all be ok
But if it isn't i have to be OK for my mum , my sister ,nieces and nephew
because if i fall apart i will be no use to any of them .
I have my husband support and love and i will deal with it at the right time for me to do that .

Prayers & best wishes for your mum - and for you DA.
I'm really glad you thought those thoughts through, too :)

D

My prayers are with you DA...For you and your mom...Drinking won't make anything better...Be strong and have a great meeting tomorrow night.....Maybe you'll see some people there from last time.

Waiting for the results is hard ...unsure what to do with myself at the moment ...i know drinking and drugs will only make things worse for me so there is no way am doing that ...

Thank you for yours thoughts and prayers

DA, I had cervical cancer and also over a 2 pound tumor in my uterus. They caught it early and I just had to have a total hysterectomy. I'm hoping the same for your Mom. Hang in there girl!

DarkAsylum, I am sending prayers for your mother for good results today.

And, good for you for hanging on. Getting through this issue today will help you to become stronger.

How are you holding up DA?

God bless.

my mum got her results she is cancer free but she has to get checked every 3 months just in case it comes back

Am so happy that she is cancer free thank you all for your prayers and thoughts
:thanks

Congrats DA for you and your mom that kind of news makes my day. Also Congrats on working through the issue and staying sober, that is also great news. Good Job.