LiveLikeGold6

I have decided that I want to be as selfish as possible while living here. My mom does not want to cooperate when it comes to keeping the house clean and I can't stand it anymore. I want to put a lock on my room door, get a small fridge/freezer and storage compartments for things like utensils and a tiny collection of cookware. I want to keep my room bacteria and clutter free and comfortable. I know she will be pissed but the sanity of constantly cleaning up after her and asking her not to use my stuff drives me mad. I'm getting to a good place spiritually and I calmly told her I want us to practice how it will be once I move out. This includes her buying her own tissue paper which she never does. And me buying all of my own food, which she helped out with.

My ex sponsor suggested this and I think it will help alleviate some of my stress although I do feel bad that we can't share things.

For example our bathroom was filthy and grimy and I finally scrubbed the hell out of it this weekend, at 7 months preggo, and bought a clear organizer and gave her the top drawer. She complained about that! So I'm like screw it if you want to be dirty let me keep my stuff clean at least and away from you and your stuff.

Am I over doing anything?

eh1988

I don't really see anything wrong with that. I hate cleaning up after people too. But if she's not charging you for rent, I think the least that you can do is help clean up and buy supplies etc.

LiveLikeGold6

Well I plan to start regularly cleaning the bathroom just because it was gross how we let it get.

The kitchen is another monstrosity that I have cleaned top to bottom only to have her come in and slowly but surely ruin it. You wouldn't believe the yellow and red stains this woman's food leaves. I have no clue what she eats that stains things like this.

I also clean around my cats stuff in the living room and always clean after my own cooking and dishes. I try to organize her food in the fridge and her stuff in other places but she does not care for that so why should I go behind her and do it every time?

I bought all my own cleaning supplies and like I said I usually do buy all the tissue paper, toothpaste etc, but I'm having a baby soon and I feel unappreciated so I no longer want to do all of that. I can agree to still keeping the place stocked with tissue, though.

I need to stop coming home and worrying about her, her, her, you know? I feel if I separate my stuff it will alleviate some of that.

eh1988

Definitely, you're getting close to having a baby, you need to start focusing on the baby. So I think it's a good idea to start that now, that way you kind of got the routine of things down when the due date comes. Help out with what you can without over doing it, don't wanna stress yourself out too much. Best of luck!

LiveLikeGold6

I think I was a little harsh when I said selfish as possible. Basically I just want to separate my things and if still needed get a fridge and put a lock on the door. Thanks SR for letting me talk this out lol

jobei

Taking care of yourself is NOT being selfish in my opinion... getting drunk or drugged up is. If that means you need seperation you go for it! Do anything that will help! I tried to recover a few years ago with an alcoholic roomate living with me... it was the same thing he was a slob and having him drunk around me all the time made it IMPOSSIBLE for me to stop drinking AND continue to live with him. You've told her how you feel and that's all you can do! Either she'll accept it or she won't... but you have to do what's good for you and your child! Also -- you'll find a place of your own soon just stay focused!