Finally making a change
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Ithaca
Posts: 4
Finally making a change
I started drinking a lot about 10 years ago. For the past few years, every New Year's Eve I have pledged to stop drinking. I finally stopped, for a while at least, in August of last year. My mind was clear and all was great. In November, I bought a fifth of vodka after a long day at work. This was the beginning of my relapse. I have now drunk an entire 1.75 liters of vodka in the past week. Everyday I have woken up with a hangover, and later in the day attempted to resolve the hangover through more vodka. The entire time, I realize just how dumb this is, but I keep doing it. I am not only surprised but even shocked at the power of this liquid over me.
My bottle of vodka is gone, and I will not get another. I have too much to lose- a family, a promising career, a clear mind.
But my career is high-intensity. I have a hard time finding ways to relax and deal with my anxiety when I am not drinking. Anyone have any recommendations? Any other advice or encouragement is always welcome.
My bottle of vodka is gone, and I will not get another. I have too much to lose- a family, a promising career, a clear mind.
But my career is high-intensity. I have a hard time finding ways to relax and deal with my anxiety when I am not drinking. Anyone have any recommendations? Any other advice or encouragement is always welcome.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi and Welcome,
I'm glad you recognize that your drinking is causing you problems and that you need to stop in order to live a full life.
I deal with anxiety by listening to good music, playing with my cats, reading a good book, going for a walk, meditating - anything that can help you to get your mind off things.
I'm glad you recognize that your drinking is causing you problems and that you need to stop in order to live a full life.
I deal with anxiety by listening to good music, playing with my cats, reading a good book, going for a walk, meditating - anything that can help you to get your mind off things.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by lid72 
I am not only surprised but even shocked at the power of this liquid over me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Ithaca
Posts: 4
Thanks to everyone for their kind and thoughtful comments.
Yeah, I actually had a lot of friends who always drank more than me, really heavy drinkers. One guy who could drink a liter of vodka in a night. So I thought that the amount that I drank was "very normal." In recent years, I have come to the fortunate conclusion that it is not at all normal. I have this compulsion to continue to drink more and more. I often think of vodka, and it draws me to it- especially when I'm facing a lot of pressure.
Your examples and your similar struggles inspire me to believe that I can kick this habit for good.
I also appreciate the relaxation advice. I wanted to get a cat, but not allowed in my apartment building! So I'll just focus on music and walking. I can't wait for the summer sun to come. I actually drink so much more than usual during the dark and depressing winter....
Yeah, I actually had a lot of friends who always drank more than me, really heavy drinkers. One guy who could drink a liter of vodka in a night. So I thought that the amount that I drank was "very normal." In recent years, I have come to the fortunate conclusion that it is not at all normal. I have this compulsion to continue to drink more and more. I often think of vodka, and it draws me to it- especially when I'm facing a lot of pressure.
Your examples and your similar struggles inspire me to believe that I can kick this habit for good.
I also appreciate the relaxation advice. I wanted to get a cat, but not allowed in my apartment building! So I'll just focus on music and walking. I can't wait for the summer sun to come. I actually drink so much more than usual during the dark and depressing winter....
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Try some searches on "relaxation techniques" "meditation" and maybe continue walking with some zumba or other exercises or dancing (it's fun), reading for fun, healthy eating/cooking, take up a pleasant hobby or join a local sport team--bowling, softball, swimming..... Nature hikes, photography, painting. There is a world of "things to do to relax" out there.
Stay stopped! You are worth it! Welcome to SR!
Stay stopped! You are worth it! Welcome to SR!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Ithaca
Posts: 4
Day 2 without drinking went very smoothly. Felt clearheaded and got a lot of work done.
I've never had withdrawal or headaches or anything like that. After I stop drinking, it's often a week or two before the lack of withdrawal or other troubles convinces me that I don't have a drinking problem, thereby convincing me that I can drink again. So the ease with which I stop drinking unfortunately seems to make it harder for me to actually stop drinking! Ironic, isn't it?
But this time I've realized that stopping drinking needs to be a long-term, life-long undertaking. Otherwise, my drinking is like a snowball rolling down a hill- it starts small, but only grows ever bigger. So, the short-term is going well- long-term recovery is the real challenge.
I've never had withdrawal or headaches or anything like that. After I stop drinking, it's often a week or two before the lack of withdrawal or other troubles convinces me that I don't have a drinking problem, thereby convincing me that I can drink again. So the ease with which I stop drinking unfortunately seems to make it harder for me to actually stop drinking! Ironic, isn't it?
But this time I've realized that stopping drinking needs to be a long-term, life-long undertaking. Otherwise, my drinking is like a snowball rolling down a hill- it starts small, but only grows ever bigger. So, the short-term is going well- long-term recovery is the real challenge.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Originally Posted by lid72
I am not only surprised but even shocked at the power of this liquid over me.
Once I could see it was never going to change, and would get worse I could admit defeat. I do not go to AA, but in my mind your post speaks to the first step. I suggest reading the Big Book (free online).
Learning how to live seems to be what the other steps entail.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by lid72
But this time I've realized that stopping drinking needs to be a long-term, life-long undertaking. Otherwise, my drinking is like a snowball rolling down a hill- it starts small, but only grows ever bigger. So, the short-term is going well- long-term recovery is the real challenge.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Originally Posted by lid72
So the ease with which I stop drinking unfortunately seems to make it harder for me to actually stop drinking! Ironic, isn't it?
But this time I've realized that stopping drinking needs to be a long-term, life-long undertaking. Otherwise, my drinking is like a snowball rolling down a hill- it starts small, but only grows ever bigger. So, the short-term is going well- long-term recovery is the real challenge.
But this time I've realized that stopping drinking needs to be a long-term, life-long undertaking. Otherwise, my drinking is like a snowball rolling down a hill- it starts small, but only grows ever bigger. So, the short-term is going well- long-term recovery is the real challenge.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by lid72
For the past few years, every New Year's Eve I have pledged to stop drinking. I finally stopped, for a while at least, in August of last year.
My mind was clear and all was great.
In November, I bought a fifth of vodka after a long day at work. This was the beginning of my relapse. I have now drunk an entire 1.75 liters of vodka in the past week.
The entire time, I realize just how dumb this is, but I keep doing it. I am not only surprised but even shocked at the power of this liquid over me.
My bottle of vodka is gone, and I will not get another.
I have a hard time finding ways to relax and deal with my anxiety when I am not drinking. Anyone have any recommendations?
My mind was clear and all was great.
In November, I bought a fifth of vodka after a long day at work. This was the beginning of my relapse. I have now drunk an entire 1.75 liters of vodka in the past week.
The entire time, I realize just how dumb this is, but I keep doing it. I am not only surprised but even shocked at the power of this liquid over me.
My bottle of vodka is gone, and I will not get another.
I have a hard time finding ways to relax and deal with my anxiety when I am not drinking. Anyone have any recommendations?
^^^^ Stopping drinking, of course, requires the notion of stopping.......what works though is what we do AFTER that resolution.
In MY case, that anxiety while not drinking is the manifestation of untreated ALCOHOLISM. Alcoholism, the type I have, isn't treated by JUST "not drinking." Not-drinking, in and of itself, is great but it's nowhere near enough to clear me of the alcoholISM that persists even when I'm not drinking.
I found my solution by working the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and I've watched a LOT of others do exactly the same thing. I'd be happy to point you in the right direction if you're interested. (shoot me a pm if you'd like.....posts on this forum get buried quickly and it's easy for me to miss them).
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