Lost3000

Hey everyone!

I had a weird weekend. I told my brother. I can't get to the part of saying I'm an alcoholic, but I suppose that's ok. I told him I quit drinking. He took it strangely, asked me why, if it was for health reasons. I should have left it at that. But instead I told him that I was drinking everyday, too much and that I needed to quit. He took it ok, but a little weirdly. I asked him about telling our mom, she drinks quite a bit. He said, oh, she'll take it fine. But I don't think so. I'm yet to tell her. There just doesn't ever seem to be a right, appropriate time. It seems weird to blurt it out when you are sitting around talking about movies or the weather.

Then...the bartender from the spot I hung out at all the time when drinking after work (my "Cheers") emailed me. We had a few arguments during my drunken days, and she's not really my friend. She said she missed me and wanted me to stop in. I'm debating on what to say. No way am I going in. She's pretty gossipy, but what's the harm of telling her I quit, and am not looking back? If anything it'd help me, cuz then everyone in the bar knows I'm an alkie and that alone would be a deterrant from me drinking in front of them. In fact, I think I could tell her I'm an alcoholic. Which is funny, cuz I can't tell my family those exact words. I can barely mutter them to my husband.

Anyway, weird weekend. Not sure what to do about the bartender.

Also, the celebration of my friend's life is this Friday. Some of you might recall, it's the one being hosted at a bar. I've got two other couples (non-drinkers) meeting me and my husband for dinner beforehand. I cannot wait!

ReadyAndAble

Well, if she's a gossipy non-friend, while tell the bartender anything? How about just saying thanks a lot, things are busy but great, say hi to the old gang, bye!

She fed your addiction, but no reason to feed hers.

Glad you told your brother. It is weird in the beginning, but soon this life will become the new and dramatically improved normal.

stillsleeping

Hi Lost,

I'm struggling with this too. Like most high-functioning alckies I surrounded myself withother drinkers. And the thing that does me in more than anything else in this whole mess is finally having the guts to admit to someone that I've got a serious drinking problem, and them tell me that it's bollocks, I'm fine.

I am not fine.

I've done exactly what you're talking about - told people I'm cutting back, giving my liver a rest etc but I'm not about to try and convince old friends of something that I frankly find kind of humiliating.

Bah!

Anyway, back to your question! You know this chick is a gossip. I gess if you want everyone to know without you having to tell them, go ahead and fill her in. If you want to keep it quiet, tell her to get lost

I hope the celebration goes well xxx

Still

Lost3000

Well put. I'm taking your stance with the bartender. It is weird that she's writing me at all. (FB). We aren't friends on FB, used to be, but after I got into it with her I realized we weren't friends at all and defriended her.

She's buddies with the rest of my drinking friends, who I work with, and who now ignore me. So my gut reaction is that she's fishing for gossip.

I love my sober life, but I guess it's only part of a life as my family doesn't know. I'm afraid of their reaction I guess. Maybe I could take the wussy way out and email my mom???

Lost3000

Somehow I got over this hump. I decided that whoever tells me I don't have a problem is just either being nice or just doesn't realize that I do have a problem. After all, I was a mastermind at hiding it, so why do I think they'll see it? And of course it's a shock to them, because I was hiding it!!!

Yeah, um, no! haha. Really though, I work with these folks and I do not want them knowing. They use this kind of gossip in a nasty way and I'd rather keep them out of my private life. So, there's my answer! Thanks!!

sugarbear1

Why not just give time some more time. Focus on staying stopped for now. In time, you'll figure out how and when to do what you need. We didn't get here overnight, we can't change everything overnight. I felt the same way you had, but I waited. Things are so much calmer now. Today, I am mostly an open book, I just don't make it a goal to use an intercom to tell everyone.

Relax and focus on this particular moment in time.

Lost3000

I sort of am trying to give it time. But unfortunately I can't control anything else. I felt the need to tell my brother as the topic of St. Patty's Day came up. Customarily that'd be a day of heavy drinking for me and so of couse he assumed I'd want to do a bar hop with him. Had to tell him.

For mom, nothing coming up yet, but soon. I think I'll just tell her then.