WhySoSerious

well i relapsed on saturday. i had 27 days sober and i blew it. Went to a place with friends, i thought supported me not drinking, boy was i wrong. I got wasted and on the walk back to the car fell over and smashed my face into the road, tooth went through my upper lip. I bled everywhere. Talk about a wake up call. I really started to think about it and i dont get hurt every time im drunk, but every time i get hurt im drunk. I told on my self to my sponsor and my home group and got a new white chip last night i cant keep doing this to myself. ill die if i keep going like this... thanks for reading

DayTrader

I'll warn you......it may be in your case that so long as your sobriety is contingent upon constant support from those around you.........you probably won't ever get very far. Ppl are fallible. Ppl let us down. Sooner or later, someone's gonna offer you a drink or try to push a drink on you. What then? Cave every time it happens? Nonsense....

Some ppl get/stay sober on support of others......that wasn't nearly enough for me. Help and support are great, but they're wholly insufficient to overcome chronic alcoholism....period. They're part of the solution...but not the whole solution.

As a friend of mine (she was an enemy at the time.... my probation officer) told me, "There's a world of difference between 'not drinking' and 'recovery.' Not drinking doesn't seem to work/last for you so you better try recovery."

My life, from working the AA program, is completely different from what it was.....

------------

Congrats on getting honest about going back out. I know that's not easy. The past is in the past.....learn from it and onward we go.

WhySoSerious

This experience has given me more motivation to work the steps and follow to the letter what my sponsor says i should do.

I wonder how my face will look after this is all said and done...

Zee

Your face will be a reminder of the 'old' days probably. So, when you want a drink... look in the mirror.

2granddaughters

WSS, this may be the time to re-commit to AA.

My sponsor told me the saying below and it has helped me greatly:

"You have to commit to AA, not just be involved.....
The difference is like a bacon & egg breakfast,

The chicken is involved and the pig is committed"

DayTrader

Faces heal pretty quickly. I got bit by a BIG dog a year ago... tore my lip from my nose right through to my mouth in two place. It looked like I had two flaps of meat hanging from my nose..... Today, you could hardly tell.

WhySoSerious

mine is a scrape mixed with a puncture wound below my left nostril. Im debating over whether or not to put peroxide on it

jocata

Had to completely change my circle of friends. The people I hang out with are all in the rooms of AA. All of my old friends still use or drink. If I hang around too much in that environment, it's only a matter of time.

You got back up and were honest about it. Not everyone is able to do that.

God bless.

heathersweeds

Wow! Glad you are back! Love your realization of everytime you get hurt, your drunk. Powerful clarity moment!!!

sober4metoday

That's frightening Serious! You have cracked your skull! Getting wasted is dangerous in ways a lot of people don't consider at first. I hope you're feeling better soon. And I hope that you'll never do this to yourself again.

Hevyn

Scary stuff, serious. Looks like it served a purpose, though. I had to be shown over and over that I simply couldn't touch a drop. After being sober for awhile, each time I drank was worse than the last - with dangerous & unpredictable results.

Now you're back on track - with even more resolve. Nothing like that ever has to happen again. We're behind you - keep going.

WhySoSerious

thank you all for your kind words... i realize that i cannot keep drinking. Every time i do something worse eventually happens. Thank you all

Terminally Unique

So what's your plan this time around, WhySoSerious? Not the same one as before, I hope?

WhySoSerious

yes AA as before, but im going to stop skipping prayers, stop hanging out with the friends that drink, stop skipping meetings im going to 90 in 90 days no slacking. I messed up and i didnt see it coming. I had a false sense of security and then i let my guard down and BAM made a huge terrible decision all for a few drinks... which ended up almost putting me in the hospital because i was too drunk to walk and fell on my face.

It took all my power to get in the car yesterday and go to a meeting telling on myself and what i had done. I told my sponsor too, im not proud of what i did. I feel like i let myself and all my friends and family down. all because i wanted to get drunk. all i can do it move on. My face will heal, my hangover will go away, but my drinking problem won't if i don't do anything about it.

DayTrader

I haven't found that to be necessary. I still hang out with most of my old drinking buddies and I've not stopped going to any of the places I used to drink at or doing any of the things I used to do while drinking.

Be careful of some of the treatment center tips and tricks for keeping yourself sober that, in essence, keep you from working the AA program you're in. (also, take a look at the promised in the BB right after the 10th step..... )

........and I hang with a lot of ppl in recovery now as well but I don't limit my friendships to only ppl in recovery.

WhySoSerious

i wish i could have been that strong this saturday

Poodlegirl

Hey Serious, I am sorry to hear about the relapse and injury. I am no stranger to drunken injuries myself. Most of the scars have faded and my chipped tooth repaired but I get sick to my stomach just thinking about what could of happened.

Your post from late last week, from the big book about moderation, made me think you were maybe contemplating trying to see if it was possible for you. The alcoholic voice, or as someone on here called it - the crazy sister in the attic, is devious. It tries to convince you that you can do it and sometimes it is relentless. I still haven't found a way to get it to shut up, maybe it never does.

Maybe the silver lining in all this is your realization that you really can't drink anymore. Maybe it was the catalyst you needed. Good luck, I have faith in you.

DayTrader

Why.....

AA is NOT about being strong. If being strong.....resisting that drink......just saying no worked for us, that's what we'd do - there'd be a step about "just saying no" or about "being strong."

I'm guessing.......just a guess......you've been hung up on a step. Probably 1 and/or 2 and/or 3. That's your problem......not that you weren't strong enough. "Half measures availed us nothing" - that line appears right before the steps in the Big Book.... Work the steps ASAP, you'll change, and the drinking problem will be in the past. If you were here with me, we could go through the first 8 in about 10 -20 minutes...

sugarbear1

Call your doctor about the peroxide. I am a firm believer in preventing infection, so I would definitely clean out that cut with the peroxide, but I am not a doctor.

Sapling

I don't think it's a bad idea...At that early of a stage in recovery...Maybe a little further on up the road..With a few tools to work with..You know what my advice is going to be WSS...Tell your sonsor you want to get started on the steps and work on them hard enough you don't have time to drink...