some AA clarification
 

maybe i dont hear it correctly or maybe im not far enough into the 12 step program of AA to understand. But in one of the readings before the meetings there is a line that says something like (sorry ahead of time if i butcher it)

"anyone who can do the correct about face and drink like a gentlemen, our hats are off to them"

Then it also lists a bunch of things alcoholics do to try to curb their drinking on their own.

Whenever i hear that i think to myself, hmm i wonder if i could do that? Are they giving me an out?

I don't get it. I'm not saying im going to go out and drink, but i just dont understand.

Also, sometimes in meetings i hear some of the old timers say something similar to if you dont think you belong here go on out, maybe you haven't gotten all your drinking out yet... i get so confused

I have never been to AA but im assuming that the last part of the old timers is meant as a "if you're ready to quit, welcome...if you don't feel like you're done, this isn't the place for you." Its kind of like the whole you have to be willing to change cause they can't change you themselves.

It has to do with an alcoholic going back to drinking moderately...Which when I find one that can do that...My hat's off to them too.

Ask the oldtimers or your sponsor, I'm sure they will be glad to give you their explanation.

Good questions and the answers will certainly aid your recovery.

Wishing you the best.

Bob R

It's a paragraph from Chapter 3 of the BB. Maybe it gets clearer when you read the whole chapter.

They are speaking from experience, some of the methods to enjoy and control their drinking that they tried and failed at.

In essence they are saying...'we proved to ourselves we couldn't moderate our drinking, but we are not trying to pronounce that as impossible for the entirety of humanity and that there may be someone out there who can, and if they can do that and are successful then whoopiedo for them, but it still doesn't change how things for us and everyone we know.'

Hope that helps make that passage more clear to you.

Speaking of hats, if someone uses the expression "my hat is off to them" in conversation, you can almost always conclude that they are a member of the Fellowship. Dead giveaway.

Let me ask... haven't you already tried any (or many) of the things described in the beginning of the 3rd chapter at different points in your drinking career? Haven't you already failed miserably in numerous attempts to manage, contain, and control your drinking? Maybe you can remember changing out hard liquor for beer, given up straight shots for high balls, and all of these experiments became abysmal failures as you would drink yourself into a coma anyway? Have you ever limited yourself to only certain specific times when you can drink - as in "only after 5pm" sort of thing? Basically, have you ever tried establishing any conditions on your drinking that eventually you burned to the ground because you just couldn't stop from getting completely blotto?

They aren't giving you an out persay, IMO they are suggesting that if you think you can behave like a normal drinker, go ahead and try. Since you're here at SR and in AA I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you already have tried.

I'm certainly no AA Zenmaster, but I took from this passage that the message was entirely about how the alcoholic comes to grips with step 1. These kind folks from the 1930's were telling me to make damned sure - like 1000% SURE - that I know full well, deep down to my gut that I'm an alcoholic, even if it means going out and exhausting any flights of fancy I might still have with controlling booze by myself. It tells me that by clinging onto even one perverted hope/belief that I'm NOT a total out of control booze hound, such fodder will make the 12 steps less effective, if not entirely useless at fixing me.

Of course I might be entirely wrong. Looking forward to hearing some others chime in on this.

EDIT: I hadn't read the earlier replies before posting. Sorry if I've jimmied up something or taken something out of proper context.
*Note to self; always read the replies before posting :gaah...

My hat would be off to that person as well, because I sure as hell can't do that.