Well here we go again
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 83
Well here we go again
It's been a while since I've been on. I think the last time I checked in I was doing a pretty good job of not drinking, but that's about all I was doing and that led me almost right back where I was before I quit. I did achieve a long period of sobriety, longer than I have in 15 years, but gradually started to slip right back into old bad habits. One thing that led to my downfall is that I was taking prescription pain medication for my injuries from my car wreck. At first I really did need to take meds for it, but after a while I was taking them just to get through the night without drinking. I am no longer taking pain pills, and I can tell you withdrawing from those was much harder than withdrawing from 15+ years of drinking.
I have finally decided to utilize our company's employee assistance program. I have an appointment with an addictions counselor after work tonight. I am going to follow suggestions. I really need help, and I really need to talk to someone. Please send some good vibes my way if you can. Hope everyone is doing well.
WK
I have finally decided to utilize our company's employee assistance program. I have an appointment with an addictions counselor after work tonight. I am going to follow suggestions. I really need help, and I really need to talk to someone. Please send some good vibes my way if you can. Hope everyone is doing well.
WK
Came to Believe
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Montgomery AL
Posts: 507
I'm glad you're taking steps in the right direction whiteknuckles. I went through our EAP, spoke with a counselor and her suggestion was inpatient detox/rehab, which was the last thing I wanted to do. But I followed her suggestion, then followed the suggestions of the counselors there and in outpatient, then the suggestions of my sponsor and other AA members -- I'd say that 90% of my sobriety is strictly due to following the suggestions of others. The only times things have gone sideways is when I try to do things my way. So even if you don't like what the counselor says, follow through. It's for the best. Let us know what happens.
--Fenris.
--Fenris.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 83
Fenris I am afraid she is going to suggest the same for me, given the length of time I've been drinking and the risk of replacing one addiction for another which I really don't need. I can't afford to go and I can't afford not to go. I think if it is recommended through EAP work has to let me go. It will be embarrassing but not as bad as running my car into poles and sneaking around and lying which I am beyond sick of.
Came to Believe
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Montgomery AL
Posts: 507
I completely understand. It was embarrassing, in a lot of ways, but only because I felt that way -- no one did anything to make me feel that way. I was fortunate in having supervisors and family who were very understanding, but even still, it's a difficult thing to do. But looking back on it, it's the best decision I ever made. I would have eventually lost my job, paycheck and everyone's respect if I hadn't gone to rehab and kept doing what I was doing. Assuming you're in the States, addiction treatment is covered under FMLA, so your job should be secure (although you may not get paid for the time you're out -- I didn't, but only because I didn't have any leave time available). I'm not as familiar with the laws as I probably should be, but only because I didn't run into any real problems. Voice your concerns to the EAP people and the counselor -- they'll have the answers you need. But whatever you do, take care of yourself first. If you're anything like me (which is sounds like you are), my life wasn't worth living the way that it was and the beginning of my new life began when I called our EAP and followed their suggestions. Every single thing in my life has gotten better because of that decision. It ain't all rainbows and smiling puppies, but it's a damn sight better than the path I was on. Feel free to PM me.
--Fenris.
--Fenris.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: united states
Posts: 127
Originally Posted by WhiteKnuckles 
Thanks a lot you guys. I think it is time to stop pretending I know better than everyone and just do what someone suggests for a change without finding excuses why I can't.
it has been said that the best way to succeed at a task is to find someone who went before you and do what they did. this place is full of people like that.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 83
Thank you guys again very much for your support. I did meet with a counselor yesterday after work. I liked her a lot. She wasn't all "rainbows and smiling puppies" as Fenris would say, she was very pragmatic which I like. I am going back next week and in the meantime my job is to find some AA meetings to go to. Going to a noon meeting tomorrow. I feel better, like I am finally doing something. If you are having problems and have access to counseling and or EAP I encourage you to try it. It's a relief just to talk to someone who understands what this is like and can tell me what she really thinks without any bias or ulterior motive. I really appreciate the encouragement you guys, I hope you are all having a great Friday.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 83
Yes Sapling there is a meeting just 10 minutes from my house and they have all different hours and days. Wednesday nights is a beginner's meeting at 8 p.m., Big Book discussion at noon tomorrow, and women's group Sunday at 6 p.m. There are actually five different AA meeting locations in my city, so there's no excuse not to make it, one even has a group at 10:30 Saturday nights!
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I am looking forward to the meeting tomorrow. I work until 8 tonight so I don't think I could get there in time. Yes I'm kinda nervous and then again not really, one of many things I've learned in SR is that people are usually caught up in their own problems, their own lives, me going to my first AA meeting for the first time in a long time is really not that monumental of an event to anyone but me. I'm just another person trying to find another way to live. And if by chance I don't like that meeting there's many others on Saturdays to try...I wouldn't mind going to the late late Saturday night meeting either, it sounds kind of interesting actually. I am a late night person and that is always the time I want to get obliviated.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Originally Posted by WhiteKnuckles
I am looking forward to the meeting tomorrow. I work until 8 tonight so I don't think I could get there in time. Yes I'm kinda nervous and then again not really, one of many things I've learned in SR is that people are usually caught up in their own problems, their own lives, me going to my first AA meeting for the first time in a long time is really not that monumental of an event to anyone but me. I'm just another person trying to find another way to live. And if by chance I don't like that meeting there's many others on Saturdays to try...I wouldn't mind going to the late late Saturday night meeting either, it sounds kind of interesting actually. I am a late night person and that is always the time I want to get obliviated.
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