Something happened that really made me think
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 76
Something happened that really made me think
I just recovered from my most horrible hangover in a long time. Don drink everyday but to much now and then. My last binge lasted from Saturday to Monday afternoon. Hardly any sleep.So been sweating and just feeling horrific.
And then I start to get calls during my hangover from my dad that I love so much. He can`t reach my brother that altså struggles quite a lot with alcohol. My dad used to as well in the past . He is just devasted and worried and I get really scared for his health and my dear brother that I really love.
He is scared for me as well. He always used be so mellow,calm and strong but very supportive. Now it seems as thought he is falling apart somehow.
He is very different and terrified for my brother. I think he is scared we will find him dead in his appartment which we cant get into. My brother will not answer the phone or give me any notice on emails and msn. He told me he got this new medisine called seroquel that makes him very tired and I know he uses it with alcohol as well to cure hangovers.
This was just really the motivation I needed now to stay sober and be strong for my dad and my brother.
So sober weekend for the first time in a long while this weekend guaranted.
I know I have quit before but still the thought of no alkohol ever in the future is so depressing somewhow.
But I want to live a different life. Not feeling like I am dying on a sunday and not even being well enought to work on mondays or going to the gym which I really liked before. Having regrets for acting like and idiot while drunk.
I know I have been here before and I dont expect you have any faith in me. But the issue with my dad and brother really really scared me.
And then I start to get calls during my hangover from my dad that I love so much. He can`t reach my brother that altså struggles quite a lot with alcohol. My dad used to as well in the past . He is just devasted and worried and I get really scared for his health and my dear brother that I really love.
He is scared for me as well. He always used be so mellow,calm and strong but very supportive. Now it seems as thought he is falling apart somehow.
He is very different and terrified for my brother. I think he is scared we will find him dead in his appartment which we cant get into. My brother will not answer the phone or give me any notice on emails and msn. He told me he got this new medisine called seroquel that makes him very tired and I know he uses it with alcohol as well to cure hangovers.
This was just really the motivation I needed now to stay sober and be strong for my dad and my brother.
So sober weekend for the first time in a long while this weekend guaranted.
I know I have quit before but still the thought of no alkohol ever in the future is so depressing somewhow.
But I want to live a different life. Not feeling like I am dying on a sunday and not even being well enought to work on mondays or going to the gym which I really liked before. Having regrets for acting like and idiot while drunk.
I know I have been here before and I dont expect you have any faith in me. But the issue with my dad and brother really really scared me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 76
I dont really know. I have been in pretty bad shape since christmas and I am the point that I really need a breake from the partying-It is affection my job which I love and need to be at my best.
Thought of going to AA but I dont know. I was sober for a month but then I started again only slowly though with a few drinks or beers. Weekends are hard for me. This weekend I have a important job project to work with so that helps me. But then we will see.
Think I will have to be more proactive in this whole stopping to drink project of mine. Not only come in here after a bad hangover when I really want to quit. When things are really good and I want to have just one beer watching hockey. And of course be more proactive when I struggle and feel sad and lonely and really "needs" a drink to cool off.
I think I will do the one month project again for now.
Thought of going to AA but I dont know. I was sober for a month but then I started again only slowly though with a few drinks or beers. Weekends are hard for me. This weekend I have a important job project to work with so that helps me. But then we will see.
Think I will have to be more proactive in this whole stopping to drink project of mine. Not only come in here after a bad hangover when I really want to quit. When things are really good and I want to have just one beer watching hockey. And of course be more proactive when I struggle and feel sad and lonely and really "needs" a drink to cool off.
I think I will do the one month project again for now.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I think as long as you treat getting sober as a "project," something like cleaning the garage or painting the shutters, your attempts will be half-hearted. Recovery isn't taking a break from partying, it's breaking with your past ways of dealing with life. Looking over your old posts, you've tried numerious times to stop, to cut back, to no avail.
Recovery from alcohol dependence is a lifestyle change. I wish you luck with your 30-day trial period. Perhaps at the end, when you look back at your struggles, you'll commit to remaining alcohol free. For therein lies your answer. Good luck.
Recovery from alcohol dependence is a lifestyle change. I wish you luck with your 30-day trial period. Perhaps at the end, when you look back at your struggles, you'll commit to remaining alcohol free. For therein lies your answer. Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 76
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
I think as long as you treat getting sober as a "project," something like cleaning the garage or painting the shutters, your attempts will be half-hearted. Recovery isn't taking a break from partying, it's breaking with your past ways of dealing with life. Looking over your old posts, you've tried numerious times to stop, to cut back, to no avail.
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Quitting alcohol terrified me. Never drinking? Ever? How is that possible? I'd be so miserable! Looking back, I can see that's just part of being an alcoholic. Now that I'm clear if the reality distortion field, I realize I never needed it at all—and the miserable way of life is the alcoholic way of life.
You know what terrifies me now? The thought of going back to drinking. The endless treadmill, obsessing over alcohol, worrying about my health, waking up half dead, vowing to quit, then disappointing myself yet again. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe next year...
Ugh. It's so crazy to be afraid of leaving that all behind. But I was, just like you. Like Sapling said, hope you don't wait as long as I did.
You know what terrifies me now? The thought of going back to drinking. The endless treadmill, obsessing over alcohol, worrying about my health, waking up half dead, vowing to quit, then disappointing myself yet again. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe next year...
Ugh. It's so crazy to be afraid of leaving that all behind. But I was, just like you. Like Sapling said, hope you don't wait as long as I did.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
R, it may turn out after a bit that you're not as miserable without what is making you miserable as you are sure you will be.
Sounds like someone in your family needs to get sober to care for the ones who can't do life without getting drunk. Why not you?
Sounds like someone in your family needs to get sober to care for the ones who can't do life without getting drunk. Why not you?
recovering using AVRT
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 294
Sometimes it's the love for something other than ourselves that sets us on the path to sobriety. I'm so happy that you have found strength in your brother and father! I don't have a relationship with my parents so you are really a lucky gal in more ways than you know. Build on that strength!!
Some people choose AA, some people choose other types of programs. But the key is to choose something. AA is a concept that is understood mainstream. It's probably the most identifiable and most available first step when someone makes the decision to seek help. Make that first step! Even if you decide that the program isn't for you, at least you are on the right path.
Glad you're here!
Some people choose AA, some people choose other types of programs. But the key is to choose something. AA is a concept that is understood mainstream. It's probably the most identifiable and most available first step when someone makes the decision to seek help. Make that first step! Even if you decide that the program isn't for you, at least you are on the right path.
Glad you're here!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,421
Welcome back Roselian
I dunno about you but I know I couldn't fix my problems with alcohol just by not drinking 30 days...I tried that and it didn't work...I tried 60 (and shot for 90 too) - same result.
I had to accept I needed to change my life as well.
I'm not trying to beat you up, but if you want this
then you have to accept that a different life is going to take more than just not drinking for 30 days.
I know it's scary - terrifying even - but you're not alone...everyone one of us here has been there.
Don't sell yourself short roselian - you can do this
D
I dunno about you but I know I couldn't fix my problems with alcohol just by not drinking 30 days...I tried that and it didn't work...I tried 60 (and shot for 90 too) - same result.
I had to accept I needed to change my life as well.
I'm not trying to beat you up, but if you want this
But I want to live a different life. Not feeling like I am dying on a sunday and not even being well enought to work on mondays or going to the gym which I really liked before. Having regrets for acting like and idiot while drunk.
I know it's scary - terrifying even - but you're not alone...everyone one of us here has been there.
Don't sell yourself short roselian - you can do this
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 732
I have faith in you! If I can do it, you can do it. Those feelings that you can't live with the thought of never again having a drink goes away as time passes and you see for yourself how much better your life has become. You can be the strong one and be there for your dad and brother.
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