Sapling

This thread here is filled with all AA people...It gives you a pretty good idea what to expect. Have fun....It's quite a jorney.

langkah

It may be good to go in expecting to see some things that could rattle you. The people will look very comfortable and relaxed whereas you will not be...that's because the meeting is a normal part of their lives and they've done it a long time. Generally most were feeling like a wet and frightened cat when they showed up. How they look and how you feel doesn't indicate you're different from them, as your head may suggest to you.

They may do and say things that you don't understand and that can fuel your feelings of being lost and uncertain...you might make notes to ask questions later. Once on paper you can let them go and not freak out because you didn't understand a point made, knowing you'll get the answers later.

If you let them know you're new when you arrive they will talk with you and try to make you comfortable as possible. That doesn't mean they want you to do or say anything back, or tell them how wonderful they are or AA is. No one wants anything from you, and that will be true for a very long time, until you have something to offer newer people.

You don't need to wear a suit and finest shoes, and leave your bad clothes at home. Dress as if you are visiting a well-loved aunt in whose home you are comfortable.

Someone may use the word God. They mean their understanding of that word, not yours if you have one. If you don't have one that's all the better and you can then relax further if you do hear that. If someone else uses the word they mean their understanding and not that of the earlier person who used it.

Don't drink or dope to relax before the meeting, thinking it's a wonderful idea. Doing that will mean you won't hear anything and makes it all a waste of time and effort.

Unless you stay incognito people will tell you about other meetings and offer their phone numbers to you. Write that stuff down, and later make notes to remind yourself of who gave you that info, so you will know later who it is you might be talking to.

If you get an invite to coffee take it, if you overhear people talking about going to coffee talk with them and invite yourself along. Even if you have some important things that must be done, like washing or posting here.

You can make no mistakes, that's not possible. You can't offend anyone or say the wrong thing, and no one cares if you spill your coffee/tea on them.

Relax, you'll be among people who uniformly want to see you stay sober the rest of your lifetime, and will do what they can to help. That's true in almost every little town in the world from the point at which you enter your first meeting looking for an answer.

saphira

Thanks for the info!! Didn't sleep very well last night because I'm so nervous, but I still plan on going. My newest question now though... ... So the meeting didn't say what kind it was-- it just says "the downtown group". How do I know if it's open or something else? Does it matter? Is there one certain kind that's best to start out with?
Thanks for being so patient with all of my questions!!

BillyPilgrim

That will probably be a closed meeting. You may feel better in that, it will only be for those people who have a problem, no non alcoholics will be in attendance (ie no normies)

Sapling

Great site for a first meeting...Covers a lot.

Your First AA Meeting<

WhySoSerious

You sound just like I did!!! I ended up going and sat in the car for 20 mins and didnt want to get out. I sucked it up for an hour and sat in the meeting. It wasnt so bad, people in there were my age (26) and i felt connected. I've been going for 22 straight days now, and made friends. I left out that my mom went with me to my first meeting for support, shes been in AA for 14 years (amazing). I picked up my white chip the night she got 14 years, kind of ironic.

Sapling

That's cool...

FlyerFan

My first meeting I was terrified, because I didn't know what to excpect and I too have horrible anxiety. But I went with a friend who is also in the program and he walked me in, we sat at a table in the back of the room and I didn't have to talk at all. I just listened for the whole meeting and got some phone numbers, met some people.

Nobody will judge you, and you will get some hugs.

Db1105

Every journey begins with a first step. It's will not be as bad as you think, in fact, I bet that you will wonder what you were worried about.

Rexfiles

A very rough estimate is that there are slightly above two million members in AA worldwide right now.

I is a plain fact that every single one of them had a "first day".

And most were scared youknowwhatless.

My first time in, I was not.

I had finally surrendered that day, and was given the "gift of desperation"

I walked in, sat down, and began the FINEST six years of my life.

The irony is, for probably ten years before I was afraid to go.

Oh, the misery I could have possibly avoided.

I am very stubborn, and knocked heads with many of the members for years.

You will not always agree with what you hear, the advise you are given, etc.

But that happens ALL through life, EVERY day. All it is is life.

BTW, when was the last time you saw everyone agreeing in a bar and sticking flowers in each others ears.

I've seen a thousand disagreements and brawls in bars, and participated in at least a hundred myself. Never seen a argument or fight in AA.

Not putting you off, 99% of the time you will hear what you need to hear, even if at first you don't agree.

That is their experience, strength, and hope.

And as with every nook and cranny in this, the third rock from the sun, 1% may irk you at times.

See past that. The best days of your life lie just slightly ahead.

Rex

2granddaughters

Go to the meetings to hear what the oldtimers have to say.....

Keep going until what you heard them say makes sense.

Rexfiles

As the newcomer, because through them you can empathize and relate.

Rex

Rexfiles

Oh, one other thing, yes, I too suffer from an anxiety disorder.

Rex

Fenris

I don't have much to add to what's already been said except that the first meeting I ever attended, I didn't enjoy it very much -- I mean, everyone was nice and all, but it was a small group and I was the youngest by a decade or so, etc. I just felt a little out of place and a little too much "the center of attention" as a newcomer. The next day, however, I went to a different group across town and immediately felt at home. My point is that even if your first AA experience isn't all you thought it'd be, don't give up on it...try a different meeting, a different group. I'm so glad that I didn't give up on AA after that first meeting.

--Fenris.

saphira

I have no doubt that I will get something out of it once I'm there. Getting there is the problem for me. It's hard for me to leave the house to go to the store... going to AA seems impossible. I just keep trying to remind myself that all I have to be is myself. Hopefully it's the one place where I don't have to put on my "secure, happy" face. Honestly, I am going completely by faith on this one. I will trust all of you and give it a shot. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks again for all of your responses.

jrmar

Hello Saphira, glad to see you have a lot of questions about AA. I asked many of the same questions. For me, when I was at my first AA meting I knew I was in the right place. For the first time in my life I didn’t feel alone in my disease. There was a peace I could feel and see, I never knew that was possible. AA has given me the some of the most cherised relationships i have.

It will be Saphira,

Hope you go. Jay

Rexfiles

If it was going to be easy it would mean absolutely nothing to you.

"doing the impossible" will give you an enormous sense of accomplishment all in it's own.

My advise?

Go in without expectations.

We are all here because we know we have been in a VERY dark place, for a long time.

And most here if not all realize that the act of getting help, reaching out, is the first step toward real, lasting happiness.

Just don't quit before the miracle happens.

Rex

fuzzy1

Just go and find out :-).

keepfinding2

Everyone is quite accepting at the meetings. They may even ask if you want a separate first step meeting. In this side meeting you can get to know some other first steppers or some other aa seniors citizens

You can share as much or as little as you. I'd recommend staying on the cautious side at first. You may meet a few creeps. You can also attend meetings in other cites until you find one that is to your liking. There are plenty of good AA meetings out the, but there are also plenty of bad ones also.

It sounds like you are one the right track. If this turns out to be what you need, then great. Remember, you don't have to continue going. AA doesn't work for everyone.

Best of luck to you.

StPeteGrad

My home group has a mandate that all home group members are to personally greet anyone who we don't recognize as attending our group before (there are usually only a few of us at each meeting so it's not overwhelming) before or after each meeting.

This is to make sure all feel welcome and feel the genuine warmth we have for each other and to do our best that any newcomer knows this is a safe place and we share a single common purpose.

Not all groups greet like us but there are many. All groups do have a single common purpose, however - helping other alcoholics who wish to stop drinking recover from the disease of alcoholism.

Good luck to you. It's worth it!