It Is What It Is ...
Choosing Life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
It Is What It Is ...
This is my fourth attempt at sobriety in the past year. I've managed to put as much as 4 months together at one time, only to drink again. I would have had 60 days today if I hadn't had a slight slip a couple of weeks ago. I have been sad and sickened by my relapses, but also have come to understand them and why they happened. As some have said here, I can't be discouraged or derailed by my relapses as long as they have taught me something, and they have. And what they have taught me is:
1. I will never be happy with just one drink. One is too many, and a thousand isn't enough. Thus, I cannot even have JUST ONE.
2. Drinking in response to the stresses in my life only makes them worse, not better.
3. My sobriety is all about ME ... it's not about what other people (my still active alcoholic husband, my children, my friends, my dysfunctional family members) do.
4. Anything I put before my sobriety, I will lose.
5. I have a choice whether to drink or not drink. It sometimes doesn't feel that way, but it is the truth. I can work my program or I can say, "F*ck it, I need a drink." The only place that has ever gotten me is hell.
6. I can't do this alone - I need a program and sober friends in my life who can guide me along this journey.
7. Living life on life's terms really sucks sometimes ... but it's better than doing it drunk.
8. My worst day sober is still better than my best day drunk.
9. I am not perfect. I am not a saint. I'm only working toward spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Tough for me, since I am a perfectionist. But my perfectionistic tendencies are what caused me to drink in the first place. I have to cut myself some slack and realize I AM HUMAN and I have an addiction that wants to kill me. Whatever steps I take to rid that addiction from my life are a plus, even if they don't work the first time, the tenth time, or the hundredth time. I just have to keep on trying.
10. I can do this. I've done it before. The only failure on this journey is in not trying again. If I don't try again, I am lost. I don't want to be lost - I want to live.
Anything anyone would care to add would be most welcomed. I share this as I know there are others out there struggling who have "failed" many times and I hope and pray that they will see themselves in what I've written and will see that it is never too late to try again. And again. And again. Whatever it takes, and whatever lengths you have to go to in order to have the life you dream of. It is possible. I'm not there yet, but I'm getting there one day at a time. We all can.
I'm still here by the grace of my higher power, the love of so many who care about what happens to me, and the support of SR. This "hopeless alcoholic" is still in the game and learning to live again one day at a time. That is my prayer for all of us.
1. I will never be happy with just one drink. One is too many, and a thousand isn't enough. Thus, I cannot even have JUST ONE.
2. Drinking in response to the stresses in my life only makes them worse, not better.
3. My sobriety is all about ME ... it's not about what other people (my still active alcoholic husband, my children, my friends, my dysfunctional family members) do.
4. Anything I put before my sobriety, I will lose.
5. I have a choice whether to drink or not drink. It sometimes doesn't feel that way, but it is the truth. I can work my program or I can say, "F*ck it, I need a drink." The only place that has ever gotten me is hell.
6. I can't do this alone - I need a program and sober friends in my life who can guide me along this journey.
7. Living life on life's terms really sucks sometimes ... but it's better than doing it drunk.
8. My worst day sober is still better than my best day drunk.
9. I am not perfect. I am not a saint. I'm only working toward spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Tough for me, since I am a perfectionist. But my perfectionistic tendencies are what caused me to drink in the first place. I have to cut myself some slack and realize I AM HUMAN and I have an addiction that wants to kill me. Whatever steps I take to rid that addiction from my life are a plus, even if they don't work the first time, the tenth time, or the hundredth time. I just have to keep on trying.
10. I can do this. I've done it before. The only failure on this journey is in not trying again. If I don't try again, I am lost. I don't want to be lost - I want to live.
Anything anyone would care to add would be most welcomed. I share this as I know there are others out there struggling who have "failed" many times and I hope and pray that they will see themselves in what I've written and will see that it is never too late to try again. And again. And again. Whatever it takes, and whatever lengths you have to go to in order to have the life you dream of. It is possible. I'm not there yet, but I'm getting there one day at a time. We all can.
I'm still here by the grace of my higher power, the love of so many who care about what happens to me, and the support of SR. This "hopeless alcoholic" is still in the game and learning to live again one day at a time. That is my prayer for all of us.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Well said, I agree #1 is key.
When confronted with the possibility of drinking I ask myself a simple question:
Would one night of drinking be worth the weeks/years of drinking that would inevitably ensue afterward?
After that I ask myself: Would I rather go back to rehab or end up dead? If I drink again those are the only two options available to me once I start.
When confronted with the possibility of drinking I ask myself a simple question:
Would one night of drinking be worth the weeks/years of drinking that would inevitably ensue afterward?
After that I ask myself: Would I rather go back to rehab or end up dead? If I drink again those are the only two options available to me once I start.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by desertsong 
8. My worst day sober is still better than my best day drunk.
Rigorous honesty, right?
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by Terminally Unique
I can't personally get on board with this particular oft-repeated slogan, since it simply wouldn't be the truth.
I had a lot of great days "when drinking." Slept in, got laid, had a great breakfast, played golf all afternoon, got that perfect buzz on (not too little but not too much), took money off my buddies, had a nice dinner and a few more drinks, got laid again and went to sleep with my wife.
Sober......I've had plennnnnnty of crappy days. I've lost a job in sobriety, I've been flat broke and sober, I've had days where NOTHING went the way I wanted it to, I've even lost a house to foreclosure in sobriety.....
What the slogan is TRYING to say is that even on those crappy sober days.......at least I have a shot at digging out of them quickly, not letting them smash me into the dirt for a week or two, and I've got a really good shot at bouncing back quickly. When I was living as a practicing alkie, my chances weren't nearly as promising most days.
Sobriety and/or recovery doesn't = "absence of all problems." Somewhere along the way, I thought that's what getting sober would yield. It doesn't. What it does do though, is give you beyond a fighting chance at a quick and healthy rebound from those inevitable problems that will pop up.... Dealing with problems back in the drinking years was really just: run/avoid and get loaded.....and never deal with anything.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
That's a GREAT post DS....Lot of wisdom there...Thanks for sharing that...If you are new or thinking about giving up alcohol...Pay close attention. Better yet...Print it out and put it on your wall....Keep plugging along desertsong...You're doing great!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Thanks for posting that desertsong!!
Number 1 is IT for me. One will never be enough and keeping that at the forefront of my mind has got me to my day 60 today
All the best to you, desertsong. I really enjoy reading your posts
Keep on going.
Sunny xx
Number 1 is IT for me. One will never be enough and keeping that at the forefront of my mind has got me to my day 60 today
All the best to you, desertsong. I really enjoy reading your posts
Keep on going.
Sunny xx
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