bayliss

I have been gone for a bit. I started going to the gym and cut my drinking down so drastically and to be honest I didn't really want alcohol anymore because of how much better I felt - healthy. Sleeping well. Losing weight. Etc.

Unfortunately on Sunday I had to put my best friend down and the love of my life. My gorgeous cat of 15 years.
I feel so empty and don't know how to cope. All I want to do is drink. I have never gone through death like this before and feel so lost and beyond empty.
I just want my Sky back. (

ODAT63

Sorry about your lost, a pet can be such a great companion, maybe going to an animal shelter and rescue a cat will help. My therapist suggested once that to feel that void inside I need to imagine my HP holding me and conforting me, it usually help. Good luck

bayliss

Thank you - yes, definitely a family member for sure. I am so devestated and don't know how to deal with these feelings. I don't want to drink to numb myself...
What do you mean imagine your HP?

Thank you for your comforting words.

SASA

Hi bayliss. Ask what you cat would want you to do. I am sure she did not want you to drink over her death. I had to put my cat Tami down in fall and it was the hardest thing I had to do for several reasons. I also faced the decision to drink, but chose not to. for this I am very grateful. In the end what helped me was knowing I gave her a really good life and did the best I could do for her. Also drinking would not have changed anything. So I put special focus on my other 3 cats and made sure theyw ere okay, Also I exercised and ate lots of chocolate. I cried several times my eyes out, but just focused on moving on. I talked to Tami sevral times a day and knew she is in a better place now.... I still miss her like crazy..... PM me if you want to talk

Fandy

You might want to honor your kitty's memory by adopting another shelter kitten. you would be saving a life too. nothing can take the place of your well-loved cat, but helping another can be greatly appreciated. AND it helps you to have your feelings in check. you won't drink if you have a baby to care for.

i don't mean to force a pet on you if you are not ready, but it is one way to look at the circumstances.

ReadyAndAble

You could also honor your cat's memory by staying sober. When my dog died in September, I vowed not use his death as an excuse to drink. He was a damn fine animal, and deserved better than to become a justification to feed my addiction. It's supposed to hurt. The pain is proportionate to the love. Bury the pain, and I'd be burying the love.

It gets better, Bayliss. The grief recedes, and the good memories remain. Hang in there until then.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss Bayliss.

Grief is hard - everybody, alcoholics or not, seem to be conditioned to numbing it out these days, but I don't think that's healthy.

We cant avoid grief - It' s natural human reaction...you can do what I did and drink for a year but the grief will still be there waiting to be addressed, waiting to be dealt with.

Drinking just keeps us in a holding pattern of unendying grief...you don;t want or deserve that.

I know it's not pleasant but it really is ok to feel sad Bayliss - I hope you won't run from that.

Lean on all the support you have


ps: When you're ready I think Fandy's idea is a good one.

D

ODAT63

[QUOTE=bayliss;3300388]
What do you mean imagine your HP?

Higher Power, that loving being that is always there for us when we need him the most, I choose to call him God. I know how bad it hurts and we just want to fill that emptines, God can if we let him.

bayliss

Thank you everyone.
I know - personally - I don't want another animal right now.

I am so sad and devastated and it has only been 48 hours.
I know that I am not the only one that is going through this either and I completely understand and fully know that drinking is definitely not going to make things any better whatsoever.
I totally understand what you mean by "justification" - as soon as I left the vet I thought "I have to go and get wine and get drunk". Sad...I know.
I have never dealt with grief and am so totally lost.
I hope that as the days go by things get better and getting support form people like you and other pet loss forums, really does help.

HP. I understand now. And that is a good idea.

I talked to my cat earlier this morning. I told him that I hoped he wasn't mad at me and I told him he could come and visit whenever he wanted to and I really hope that he does.
I guess I just gotta get back at it.
I haven't eaten now in three days.

I know I need to keep going. I just wish I had him back.

Thank you guys so much for listening. It makes me feel a bit better. I had him for 15 years and he was the love of my life. A family member.

How did you guys deal with your grief?

Sharzy

Hugs, Pets are family members. x

Duke10

Oh Bayliss, I remember putting down my best friend of 18 years. A black lab named Duke, thus my name here. I have cried 3 times in my life, honestly, and when they gave him the fluid to end his life made me cry. Maybe he could have held out a bit longer??? No. I t was his time to go. That was 3 years ago and I still have not got another dog. Hang in there. HUG

fuzzy1

We had to put our cat of 12 years down in january because of FIP. It was quite the shock and I miss him but it was the responsible thing to do. He had a great life and was pretty spoiled. I am grateful he was a part of our family for so long and for all the joy he gave us. After our other cat died about two years ago we got a kitten out of the animal shelter and I am really glad she's around.

fuzzy1

We had to put our cat of 12 years down in january because of FIP. It was quite the shock and I miss him but it was the responsible thing to do. He had a great life and was pretty spoiled. I am grateful he was a part of our family for so long and for all the joy he gave us. After our other cat died about two years ago we got a kitten out of the animal shelter and I am really glad she's around.

fuzzy1

We had to put our cat of 12 years down in january because of FIP. It was quite the shock and I miss him but it was the responsible thing to do. He had a great life and was pretty spoiled. I am grateful he was a part of our family for so long and for all the joy he gave us. After our other cat died about two years ago we got a kitten out of the animal shelter and I am really glad she's around.

Sorry, for the multiple postings.

bayliss

No worries for the multiple posts Fuzzy. It happens! I am sorry to hear that you and Duke lost such lovely and amazing animals.

I am trying to hang in there.
It's only been two days. I really am hurting.
I just feel alone, I don't have anyone here...in person, that understands.

My Mom wants me to go and visit her...
I don't want to leave here and my bf. I think I should learn how to grieve here. But it will be two weeks before I go.
I am also wildly surprised that the friends I thought I had were SO not there for me.

I am eternally grateful for you guys.
XO

Eliz181144

I understand completely bayliss. I'm in the last days with my Bullmastff - a rescue that I've been blessed with for 14 years.

I keep wondering why this is happening so early into my recovery but I suppose this will be revealed over time. Maybe just to prove I can endure it without a drink.

It's hard stuff. Treat yourself well and godspeed back to the gym and away from the drink.

eJoshua

I'm sorry to hear that Bayliss. I'm happy to "see" you though. Losing a pet can be so tough.

Elisabeth888

I am very sorry for your loss.

Drinking will not make you feel better. You will feel worse, in fact.

I think about my cat and dog and I wonder if they noticed a difference when I was drunk. I think they did.

bayliss

Thank you eJoshua and Eliz.

I hope all that lost one is doing better. Is it the worst in the world.
And definitely the most difficult when you are trying to remain sober.

Image101

I'm sorry, Bayliss... losing a pet is awful.
Our wonderful cat of also 15 years tried to sneak under the garage door when my mother was closing it two weeks ago, and it snapped her neck, killing her instantly. My mother was so upset, and her grief (and mine, I loved the cat, too) pushed me to drink as I was already on the fence about it that night.
It doesn't solve anything. Ever. All you can do is be thankful for the 15 wonderful years you had with your kitty.