DayTrader

Originally Posted by DayTrader View Post
I'd recommend, when the time presents itself, don't be afraid to voice your "God concerns" at a table...I'd also recommend talking about looking for a sponsor in the meetings when it's your turn to share. Start putting those things out there........it's a good step 3 practice to get into. I'll betcha someone with some experience migrates over to you before too long.

At a table, as in a group mtg? I'll seriously have to wait on that one! As to talking to the group about a sponsor. Duh. Why didn't I think of that?

Yeah.....right at a table! Just float it out there. "rigorously honest" right? Those of us who've been around know anyone new is thinking it.....we thought it too. Kudos go to the ppl willing to talk about it though.

And don't feel bad for not thinking about bringing up sponsorship at a table...... I didn't think of it myself either. I got that one from my great-grand-sponsor. I suppose after 53 years he's learned most if not all the tricks.

Sapling

No wonder you are doing so well FlyerFan.

Lost3000

Sapling: Annoying. Not that FlyerFan isn't doing well but tomorrow is my 60th day. Obviously I'm doing well too. Perhaps post that on FlyerFan's thread, not mine. Just sayin'.

Edit: FlyerFan and I are two days apart. So she gets a high five but not me? Okayyyyy.

PaperDolls

Lost - i can't speak for Sapling but I don't think that's what he meant. I think he liked what she had to say there, the part he quoted, that's all.

It's quite obvious you're doing something right. 60 days is freakin' awesome. You've overcome the hurdle of not wanting to go to meetings, so I'm quite sure you can get a sponsor. My advice is at least check it out, find someone you like and start meeting with them on a regular basis. If you hate it, or it does work .... you don't have to keep doing it. You're in charge of your recovery.

VolcomStone51

The biggest thing that helped me pick a sponsor......find someone who has something that you want (e.g., honesty, humility, sense of peace : NOT CARS OR A BIG HOUSE)).

If you can find that, you can find your sponsor.

-also, be happy for yourself and for others, as the need for posting against someone praising another member really lacks compassion/fellowship.

Lost3000

Thanks regardless. It's my thread, asking about a sponsor, to which Flyer responded, and I liked that. I didn't particularly appreciate the high five to someone who's my level of sobriety on my thread asking about a sponsor. I just felt it was a bit rude in the forum/protocol arena.

Thank you. I agree and feel I'm doing well. Like I said, I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and want to be prepared.

Lost3000

I'll keep this in mind.

I respectfully disagree. I disagree that I'm posting against someone as much as I felt like pointing out that I'm doing well too. I also disagree that my post reflects a lack of compassion/fellowship based upon the post alone.

P.S. - I am happy for Flyer and posted on her thread as well, not on a problem/issue thread that someone else started.

PaperDolls

There aren't levels of sobriety. We're all the same here. One day at a time.

Sometimes, threads get off track a little bit though I'm not sure telling someone other than the OP that they're doing a good job qualifies. Hurting your feelings wasn't the intent. Don't take it personally.



Now, back on topic.....don't wait for the shoe to drop, if it does, it may be too late. Keep doing what you're doing and then do some more stuff that you're sort of uncomfortable with. You should get some great results!

augustwest

What do i say to the anti-AA, anti step people? If they're sober i say congrats! I don't care what methods people use, i just want to see people recover.

I wasn't sure if AA or NA were right for me, but i wound up in the rooms because i was desperate and lonely for some interaction with people who might understand me. After the initial fog lifted it stood to reason that if i'm going to truly find out if this is for me i should do the program the way these people are doing it. The ones who strike me as happy with their lives, productive, and sober no matter what life threw at them. I identified those people and talked to them, and then compared notes. There was a common theme. They had sponsors, worked the steps, had a homegroup, and were of service whenever possible. So i set out to do those things myself. And the experience has not only kept me sober but has changed me to my core.

I figured that not commiting to the process would leave me in a place of never finding out if it actually works. It's akin to going for the gym for a week and then proclaiming that this exercise stuff doesn't work. I made an open ended commitment to the process, with a strong suspicion of parts of it(read:God) and a willingness to try different methods if i reached a dead end. I pretty quickly learned that it is indeed the program for me and my participation in it truly enriches my life beyond just not drinking or drugging.

PaperDolls

bingo!!

Lost3000

Ok, level, same sobriety day, same amount of time being sober - whatever. I think my point was made. My feelings weren't hurt, just annoyed, as I said. And I'm probably not being all that clear. I post about my sponsor question, say I'm almost 60 days sober. Someone else, also 60 days sober, says go for it! Then someone else says, hey, no wonder you are doing good. Um, I'm also 60 days. And also doing good. So why the high five to someone other than the one who started the post!

Never mind. I think I'm the only one who gets this.

Trust me, I'm not waiting for the shoe to drop, which is why I think about it, post about it here, talk to my spouse about it.

Lost3000

Thanks Augustwest, for your post.

PaperDolls

Lost. High Five.

Now focus on your original post -- and I agree, the fact that you brought it up and are asking questions means you're willing to do the work. That's great.

Lost3000

Sorry, that ship has sailed. LOL.

I'm just unsure and nervous. I'm also a slow learner. Baby steps.

PaperDolls

Just because you're unsure and nervous doesn't mean you can't do it.
You'll never know unless you just get in there and try.

Lost3000

I know. I just needed someone else other than myself to say it. Silly huh?

PaperDolls

double post

PaperDolls

Not silly. I've been there.
I still have my days.

augustwest

i was more nervous asking my first sponsor than asking liz strocio to dance with me at the 6th grade dance. it was brutal. but i did it and we both laughed about it a few minutes later. and then i felt on top of world on my drive home. it felt like a huge accomplishment lol!

what i later learned what that that tiny little step into the uncomfortable, unfamiliar unknown flung open the door to a brand new life.

Lost3000

...to all who responded. I'll let you know how my search goes.