day one....again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: melbourne
Posts: 6
day one....again
Hi everyone,
I am new here. This morning i woke up and called in sick to work with the 'flu'. you know, the 'flu' that you catch the morning after a binge. Last night i drank a bottle of rose, half a bottle of red wine and half a bottle of champagne. i was feeling anxious throughout the day...i have been trying to use exercise as a tool to combat cravings, and it works. if i work-out that day, i dont drink that day. yesterday i didnt get to the gym.
My husband is overseas working, and has been gone for a month. since he has been gone i have had a bottle of wine to myself about 3 x a week. that might not sound like much, but i am a petite woman. i think i am drinking again because i am sad and lonely that he is away...
I have been binge drinking since my early twenties. I turn 30 in two days. Last year after my birthday i did 6 months sober. I felt amazing. Then that little voice started telling me "its ok now, you can be a social drinker, you are in control"....and i am in control at first...then gradually i get out of control.
i know i have a drinking problem. My mother also has an alcohol problem.
i dont go out to bars or pubs anymore, the drinking is mostly with friends or at home.
When i drink, i dont stop until im drunk. I throw up and black out often when i drink. My body rejects the poison. the only time i smoke is when im drinking, and it undoes all of my hard work at the gym and healthy diet. in december i got so drunk i was taken to the hospital. My husband and i only ever fight when i have been drinking.
The times when i have managed sobriety, i have always done alone. i have never gone to any meetings or posted like this before. Because i have quit so many times now, and relapsed, i am reaching out to this community for help. its day one...again. i feel terrible. but i am determined to leave drinking behind in my 20s. I will spend my 30th birthday sober, and one day at a time from there. I will not waste anymore time in bed feeling nauseated, achey and depressed. i cant do this anymore. NO MORE.
I am new here. This morning i woke up and called in sick to work with the 'flu'. you know, the 'flu' that you catch the morning after a binge. Last night i drank a bottle of rose, half a bottle of red wine and half a bottle of champagne. i was feeling anxious throughout the day...i have been trying to use exercise as a tool to combat cravings, and it works. if i work-out that day, i dont drink that day. yesterday i didnt get to the gym.
My husband is overseas working, and has been gone for a month. since he has been gone i have had a bottle of wine to myself about 3 x a week. that might not sound like much, but i am a petite woman. i think i am drinking again because i am sad and lonely that he is away...
I have been binge drinking since my early twenties. I turn 30 in two days. Last year after my birthday i did 6 months sober. I felt amazing. Then that little voice started telling me "its ok now, you can be a social drinker, you are in control"....and i am in control at first...then gradually i get out of control.
i know i have a drinking problem. My mother also has an alcohol problem.
i dont go out to bars or pubs anymore, the drinking is mostly with friends or at home. When i drink, i dont stop until im drunk. I throw up and black out often when i drink. My body rejects the poison. the only time i smoke is when im drinking, and it undoes all of my hard work at the gym and healthy diet. in december i got so drunk i was taken to the hospital. My husband and i only ever fight when i have been drinking.
The times when i have managed sobriety, i have always done alone. i have never gone to any meetings or posted like this before. Because i have quit so many times now, and relapsed, i am reaching out to this community for help. its day one...again. i feel terrible. but i am determined to leave drinking behind in my 20s. I will spend my 30th birthday sober, and one day at a time from there. I will not waste anymore time in bed feeling nauseated, achey and depressed. i cant do this anymore. NO MORE.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Yeah I remember the 'flu' - I was pretty sick, pretty often...
Welcome to SR clear - you'll find a lot of support here
The support here helped me turn my life around - I know you'll find help here too
D
Welcome to SR clear - you'll find a lot of support here
The support here helped me turn my life around - I know you'll find help here too
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by clear82 
and i am in control at first...then gradually i get out of control.
i have never gone to any meetings or posted like this before. Because i have quit so many times now, and relapsed
So you know you can't stop on your own...And you have posted here....That leaves meetings...Would you be willing to try AA?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Great share Clear!
Really glad that you're here.
I don't do meetings but have found a wealth of other tools and support on the site and that has allowed me to be successful in sobriety! Start reading and posting and you'll find your way through.
Really glad that you're here.
I don't do meetings but have found a wealth of other tools and support on the site and that has allowed me to be successful in sobriety! Start reading and posting and you'll find your way through.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Northeast
Posts: 441
Hey Clear, I am also in my late 20's and newly sober (15 days). My weekends used to revolve around alcohol, sometimes leading to cocaine use late night when I'd start to feel tired from drinking. Although I was "functioning" during the week, I wouldn't really feel "back to normal" until Wednesday and then started the process over again on Fridays. This is the best decision I ever could have made. I feel good at 15 days, I hope it only gets better from here. I haven't started any meetings just yet, but I am working my mind up to it. The support and encouragement on this site is incredible, I've been making an effort to come on and read/contribute every day. Good luck on your journey of sobriety- hope to see you on the board.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Clear!
Well, you don't have to feel alone anymore - you now have friends from all over the world who know what it's like! Having support has made all the difference for me when I once worried if I'd ever be able to get sober.
Hope you feel better soon!
Well, you don't have to feel alone anymore - you now have friends from all over the world who know what it's like! Having support has made all the difference for me when I once worried if I'd ever be able to get sober.
Hope you feel better soon!
JEANS
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Manchester
Posts: 132
Hi Clear82, welcome to SR. I've just turned 30 too and it was my first birthday sober in about 16 years. I found coming on here as much as possible helped and I stopped seeing the friends I drank with until they were prepared to do stuff that doesn't involve drinking with me.
We all know what you are going through, when ur sober it can only get better.
Good luck xx
We all know what you are going through, when ur sober it can only get better.
Good luck xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: in France
Posts: 393
Hi there.
Isn't it wonderful to be surrounded and helped by people who know how hard this is but who also know we can do this.
My wine drinking was like yours and it just got worse and worse over the years.
All the advertising around us featuring wine whether it's an advert for wine itself or for something "associated" (a holiday, a new kitchen ... you name it there seems to be wine in there) and the fact that it's so easily available, I find makes it even more difficult to stay away but there's no room for self -pity if we're going to succeed -and we can!
I'm on Day Two by the way.
Keep posting.
Isn't it wonderful to be surrounded and helped by people who know how hard this is but who also know we can do this.
My wine drinking was like yours and it just got worse and worse over the years.
All the advertising around us featuring wine whether it's an advert for wine itself or for something "associated" (a holiday, a new kitchen ... you name it there seems to be wine in there) and the fact that it's so easily available, I find makes it even more difficult to stay away but there's no room for self -pity if we're going to succeed -and we can!
I'm on Day Two by the way.
Keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 6
If it helps, it was reading your post that made me join up and write mine. I, like you, don't want this any more. I am sat here looking at an engagement ring on the kitchen counter top. I have had pain in my pancreas and problems with my heart but I am too scared to go to the doctor. I've sniffed glue, taken painkillers for fun, done coke, e, mushrooms, smack, just not to be me, in my mind.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: melbourne
Posts: 6
hey Aboreal, i just stumbled on this forum today as well and already i am feeling hopeful! Like yourself i have also tried illegal drugs and abused painkillers like codiene and have also abused valium in the past. I have had kidney infections and pain, and many UTIs from drinking. i know you say you are scared to go to the doctor but i hope you can find a doctor that you like and who can make you feel comfortable. you have inspired me to go get a full check up asap!
So it goes
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,620
Hi Clear, I have been that way. I attended AA, stopped going, decided I was better and could drink like the normies. I did when I was with the normies (one beer) but then went home and drank 2 bottles of wine.
I know now that I can stop drinking , only if I never drink again.
That is not easy I know, but it is possible. I avoid my triggers (ie I dont go into a bar, and I avoid the wine aisle in the supermarket), or associate the triggers with something else - I got drinking different types of tea to relax - for me , I can enjoy drinking something refined, but also drink something healthy.
You can do it, it is worth it, I have just had my fifth sober weekend, and I feel better every day, my general health is better
and I dont fall victim to those monday morning flu attacks!!
I know now that I can stop drinking , only if I never drink again.
That is not easy I know, but it is possible. I avoid my triggers (ie I dont go into a bar, and I avoid the wine aisle in the supermarket), or associate the triggers with something else - I got drinking different types of tea to relax - for me , I can enjoy drinking something refined, but also drink something healthy.
You can do it, it is worth it, I have just had my fifth sober weekend, and I feel better every day, my general health is better
and I dont fall victim to those monday morning flu attacks!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: in France
Posts: 393
Great post Billy. I also really like your Samuel Johnson quote -excellent! I must try to think of that when I avoid the wine aisle in the supermarket - that wine is no more for me than the dog food in the pet food aisle! Haha!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 56
Hi clear,
I'm on my third day 2 of the year. I too am doing it alone in my late 20's without much of a support network, but personally every time I try to quit I seem to get a little further, it's a long road. Every time I have quit this year I've been reminded of the nauseated, sweaty and disgusting feelings and it just reinforces my desire and drive to quite. Best of luck with it your progress!
I'm on my third day 2 of the year. I too am doing it alone in my late 20's without much of a support network, but personally every time I try to quit I seem to get a little further, it's a long road. Every time I have quit this year I've been reminded of the nauseated, sweaty and disgusting feelings and it just reinforces my desire and drive to quite. Best of luck with it your progress!
<3 RB u saved my heart <3
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: VA moving back to CA
Posts: 72
clear i am in the same boat and my fiance is incarcerated so i know the loneliness makes an excuse for the drinking. if you need a buddy just inbox me im online daily. good luck with your sobriety you can do it! so can I!
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