TallWater

We all know that we have complete choice over what we choose to put down our gullets, the responsibility of the action is a priori. I was floating on the hubrisboat just as you are, but because I let my guard down for 30 minutes I relapsed and have been fighting the old demon once again. So a post like this strikes me as naive, and pedantic (even though I know you are trying to help).

Dee74

Welcome back TallWater

I remember sometimes I found my self so low that choice or no choice was nothing more than an academic concept to me.

But none of us is without help or without ways to change the situation.

I hope you'll focus your energy on breaking the cycle & getting back to where you need to be

D

TallWater

Thank you D

You're a cherub.

Dee74

so, I'm short and fat - go figure...
Good to see you back looking for help TW

D

TallWater

It was a term of endearment.

I have some old support from here, but it's my choice, and I've always felt that I can follow the footsteps of my elders.

langkah

What I hear in this thread and agree with is that alcoholics often have an amazing blind spot that allows us to quit forever several times a week/month/year and remain incredibly oblivious to the value of our NEXT ironclad and irreversable firm decision to quit drinking forever.

As if 'I'm going to do it this time because I really, really, really want to and really, really, really need to do that, that quitting thing' is in the least different from the other 694 time we've quit the identical way.

It's different only when it's different, and if an alcoholic has a pattern of drinking every month or 10 months then it's not different until they exceed their usual. Until that takes place it's samolsamol. Sadly that applies to those who change daily drinking for a periodic pattern going some years. If they drink every 7 years then it's not different until they've gone beyond that customary point.

When we are on new ground and continuing further into living our lives sober we are not failures at staying sober any longer. Until then reality is what it is. Patterns of the temporarily sober are dug deeply and many suffer and die digging their ruts deeper and keeping their blinders firmly in place telling all and sundry it's really different this time.

Whenever new people move a different direction than they've done in the past, doing new things in the real world with consistency, trying any solution they've not given their best to before then that carries the possibility that this time is actually different, that they have pulled themselves out of their deepening rut...finally.

I find those people exciting because this time could possibly be their time. That can be a game changer.

Terminally Unique

They die like flies, langkah.

Agreed.

Terminally Unique

Intuitively, on some level, we know it, but the addiction creates a condition of ever increasing dependency, and not just on the substance. In this state, things always happen to us. The one thing I've learned beyond doubt is that an addiction will feed on passivity and procrastination as if it were rocket fuel. Until you snap out of the insidious 'things happen to me' mindset, you invariably keep sinking.

sober4metoday

TU - Interesting....are you suggesting it's a type of victim mentality? Because I've considered that about myself and that my crutch is drinking. Like I've stated before, it's as if drinking allowed me to feel helpless. It fueled my "victim mentality" mindset. Without drinking to make me feel bad then I would only have myself to blame for my situation (if you align yourself with the "disease" way of thinking - which may be true for some but not for me).

I can tell you that today I don't feel like a victim and I have altered my way of thinking. Alcohol is a choice. And I choose life.

Terminally Unique

Addiction manufactures victims, both literally and figuratively. That old slogan — "poor me, poor me, pour me another drink" — didn't come out of nowhere. The addiction will necessarily maintain this mindset, which can be seen in addicted people the world over.