aeo1313

I have been going to meeting for about 6 weeks now. I have a problem with hydrocodone and I would binge drink about once a week. Anyway- I think the pills are my main problem. This past week I drank one night, but was never a daily drinker and even when offered a drnk las night I didn't take it bc I just didn't feel like drinking. I know I would take a pill if that were offered.

Now to the point of my post- I decided I am ok drinking here and there- it's just the pills I need to stay away from. I would like to continue going to meetings bc I like the group atmosphere, but I probably shouldn't be going if I am still drinking and not intending to quit that.

I know this sounds stupid, and that I am in denile, and that it is the addicted mind talking, etc etc. It is the pills that brought me to AA though- usually I can take it or leave it with drinking. I want my life back to where I was before starting pills. I drank socially then and never felt the need to seek help.

I'm rambling and I know how this post must sound. I just want to be happy and regain a happy relationship with my husband again. My depression f***s everything up and I can't seem to get past it. He said my entire problem is the fact that I am so upset over the weight I have gained this year. Highly doubt 10 pounds is the cause of all this. Man, I can't seem to sht up!! I will now.

Ann

JohnnyDetox

Anyone can attend an open meeting, closed meetings are for self-admitted alcoholics.

I think as long as you go to the appropriate one, your fine, be it open or closed. There are also other 12 step programs that might better be suited to your situation.

Good question.

Sapling

You can always go to an NA meeting...Probably a better fit.

augustwest

NA is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs. Alcohol is a drug. That being said if you have a desire to stop using you're welcome to attend. hell you're welcome at an open meeting without even that desire.

langkah

'I have not hit bottom this time, but I have seen the bottom in the past and know I can dig my way there if I let myself.'

While you dig your way there it doesn't matter if you go to AA meetings or not, and if you go you might take up someone's time who would otherwise spend it helping someone who wants to stop, which would be a selfish thing on your part.

Why not instead go to a movie?

Later on, after you've made it to where you're going you can always come back and use our solution. At this time of what possible use to you is our solution for a problem you don't believe you have, as you dig your way back to the bottom you've seen in your past, or one far worse?

Pinkcuda

AA or any 12 step program is the 12 steps of recovery and a personal relationship with God as you understand God. Meetings are a place to go. You can do the 12 steps of AA without ever setting foot in a meeting. You can also go to meetings and seldom hear about the 12 steps, God or recovery. Unfortunately we've come to the thought that meetings are the answer. Probably explains the dismal success rate amongst our ranks. If you have a problem you can and should take the 12 steps. Where you do it is entirely up to you. But!!! Do not confuse meetings with the program of AA. They're two separate things. Assuming I was in AA I would expect to hear absolutely nothing of my gambling problem or my overeating problem. AA is about alcoholism. My Gambling issues or my overeating problem are as irrelevant as can be inside the confines of an AA meeting. So sayeth the book. Any drug issues should be just as irrelevant of a concern in a meeting. Yet they aren't for some reason. Why?? Because very few people in AA know what the book says. So they make things up. Is this the group of folks you want coaching you through the twelve steps? Stick with the book. Stick with the twelve steps as they are written and use God and the steps to kick your problem in the ass. Whether you go to meetings or not.
FWIW, I used Gambling and Overeating as an example. I don't do either.

soberlicious

How does this post sound to you? That's what's important. It's my opinion that you are projecting your own self-doubt onto those that may be reading this. Again, just my opinion, but maybe worth considering?
The physical fact of the matter is that alcohol will mess with your brain receptors, as do the pills. I can tell you from my experience that it is so much easier to sort things out when you just put all the mind altering stuff down. I could not believe the clarity I gained when I quit flooding my brain artificially. Doesn't matter the substance, it all took me away from reality. That's not where I want to be.

Db1105

The only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking.

Dee74

I used to think that too aeo - until someone challenged me - 'so...leave it'.
I couldn't.

The problem, at least in my experience, is when you have a couple of addictions on the go, they all tend to intertwine...either they're feeding each other, or you'll give up one thing, and find you'll massively ramp up the other.

I fear - like me with alcohol and drugs - you're looking at two sides of the one coin here aeo.

I know it's hard - and a little scary to contemplate - but I hope you'll reconsider your current 'either/or' plan.

D

katrinka

When you drink does it make you want the pills, too? If yes, maybe alcohol is not what you should be doing if you're serious about quitting the pills. Good luck to you and keep posting, I know you've been struggling.

FlyerFan

I have met a lot of people at AA meetings who are addicts. They prefer the atmosphere as well like you said, but many of them had problems with both alcohol and drugs.

artsoul

I'm sure you probably already know this isn't the greatest idea, right? I'm thinking about your depression and history of drinking to blackout, but of course there are a million additional reasons, too. It might help just to reread some of your earlier posts.

It's hard to let go, for sure. It pays off in the end though, as we learn to live without messing with the chemicals in our brains/bodies. It's a good feeling.

I hate to see you give up meetings if they were helping you. (Are you going to run this by your addiction counselor? Maybe they can help you see some of the thinking behind this........)

We're always here for you.....

saphira

Dee took the words right out of my mouth. I was going to say if you can take it or leave it then... LEAVE IT!!!!

newleaves2012

yeppers. if I had a wish it'd probably be to have never started drinking. it's always gonna be there in me dormant.

aeo1313

I am so glad to be able to go back and read posts of mine like this one. I was so full of utter complete bulls*&^!!

Last night the last thought before I fell asleep was that I have been overreacting by going to AA and that I am fine. I woke up today and went to a meeting. I know I need to be there.

It's good to re-read ones own words and see growth.

Sapling

Amen!

sugarbear1

Journals are great to read again!

My alcoholism showed up in other substances, too, but I identify with others in AA and I know that the 12 steps changed me and my life for the better!

Keep coming back!

aeo1313

My AA group is very welcoming to addicts and so many of us there have both. One guy that I just love listening to bc of his passion for life and AA introduces himself as "Hi I'm ____ and I'm and alcoholic...and a crack head" Just the way he says it makes me smile every time!

Mm1231xx

I'm mainly an alcoholic so I go to AA meetings, but I also go to NA meetings even though drugs aren't my "Drug of choice" I'd much much much rather drink. But I still go because even though I was once an addict and that lays dormant, I'm scared that I might substitute alcohol with narcotics. Going to NA could be good for you because in NA they consider alcohol a drug too, so you would be getting the best of both worlds out there. Try getting a sponsor after a few meetings, she can help you if you're confused. Good luck