RAP

Hi. Its all a matter of taking responsibility for ourselves and knowing that words, good or bad, helpful or hurtful, are just that. Words. Our actions are much more important and in this drug/alcohol deal, we can NEVER win. So I would venture to say love ourselves, continue to heal and accept the "praises" if they come, give them if you feel like it and keep it moving.

People who have had a drug/alcohol problem in the past can easily lapse back into the "stinking thinking" That is "I'm not good enough, they're not good enough, I've ruined my life, it don't matter anymore anyway, nobody loves me, I'll never forgive myself for that, yada yada yada. Keep it simple, help and encourage one another and continue reaching for higher levels of existence and understanding.

frances2011

Timely, important, inspiring thread with lots to ponder, imo.

Thank you and Welcome to SR, RAP. Thank you for reminding me about staying out of stinking thinking.

Sapling

Yeah...Nice post Rap...You signed up just in time...Welcome to SR..

sugarbear1

All of us deserve a second chance, even you, Tony.

when is your 5th step scheduled for? stopping on any step is not a good place to be....

Dee74

Glad you're moving forward Tony

Welcome to SR RAP

D

flutter

That's a really cool update.

I'm conflicted by this stuff.. My husband practically does cartwheels because I'm sober and have been for however long. Every time he gives me a card or an 'atta girl, I feel weird.. I'm just being a regular, honest, responsible adult. On the other hand, I think I'm forever affected by growing up with alcoholics (seems to be what I'm thinking about today for some reason). My parents have been sober for almost 2 decades. I'll never throw them a party over it, I don't acknowledge their sober time, I don't even like to HEAR about it.. (and honestly they never bring it up unless it's in passing talking about something else). I don't think they 'deserve' a high five, they're doing what they should have done. Clearly I have some stuff to work on there. I got a second chance at life.. I need to think about that compassionately when it comes to this bubbling stuff I'm feeling about how I grew up. Everyone deserves a second chance, I lived through it and fell in love with life because of it. Thank you for coming back and sharing.

40creek

I'll not bore you with religion but there is a story in the bible that parodies the recovering addict in a way. You all know the story of the Prodigal Son. He was never praised for returning to his senses but he was celebrated.
I see no problem with offering a verbal pat on the back or helpful support for someone who has come to his senses. Especially when the path back is so dammed tough. Infact, I'm not sure we could do it without the support and encouragement of others

desertsong

Truth is, as you've figured out, all human beings cause damage and wreckage to other human beings, whether they are drunks/addicts or not. That's the flawed nature of the human condition. Whether we do it intentionally or unintentionally, the damage is inevitable. What we do after we cause that damage is huge.

I think anyone who does the very difficult work of overcoming an addiction and striving for a better life is to be congratulated. We don't lift them up as saints, because none of us is perfect, but we do recognize the achievement and the gritty determination it takes to accomplish sobriety. We also recognize that person's willingness to be a better human being and to treat others - even the most difficult among us - with dignity, kindness, and acceptance. So much of the world is interested only in "self," and a huge part of getting sober is learning to be less self-centered and self-directed, and more interested in the wellbeing of others.

You've come a long way, Tony. Congratulations.

mynameistony

just started the 4th

mynameistony

Thank you all for the kind words!!
SO much support!