freshstart57

The first time I exposed myself on purpose to a pub setting for lunch, I was pretty apprehensive beforehand. I drank sodas, left when I was ready, and felt pretty darn pleased about the whole thing afterwards. I felt as though my sober muscle was getting pretty darn buff, and I have used that situation to strengthen my booze blinders since then.
I would be telling you a different story had my pub lunch finished off three hours late with more than a couple of draft beers behind me. I think you will need to decide how you are going to handle this well in advance, visualize how it will actually transpire, and then make that part happen.

soberlicious

Well I'm a huge coffee drinker. Lots of bars will brew me a pot, I only have to ask. The only caveat being sometimes I end up drinking the whole pot and dancing like Elaine from Seinfeld. The bar should have almost any kind of fruit juice it you like that. Enjoy the band...I love live music!

StPeteGrad

While I personally think it's a 100% bad idea in this stage of recovery, you obviously need to chart your own program.

If nothing else, drive yourself and don't be designated driver. You need to be able to leave on your own with no strings attached if it becomes too much

Like August said, have an Exit strategy and don't be afraid to use it. Fake being sick, headache, diahrea - whatever it takes.

aasharon90

This Alcoholic in Recovery has No business
in a bar. 21 yrs. sober living on a solid foundation
built on steps, principles and honesty.

Stang

I have a simple, easy fix for that problem. I just don't go to bars or any other alcohol fueled place/event.

MentalLoop

For those who think going to the bar is a bad idea....ready / aim / fire at me, I'm about to blaspheme. I say go to the bar, order your water / soda / coffee head held up high, and don't let the liquor own you. Probably my biggest gripe with those who say avoid the situation or get new friends or whatever is basically letting the alcohol hold you hostage. You own this, and don't give up the rest of your life, it can be fun. Be sure you can't drink, make sure everybody knows you can't drink, and leave.....well....when it feels right to leave.

Rexfiles

To amend on what you are saying, if I have to ask or post on something, deep down inside, I pretty much figure I'm about to go against my OWN better judgement.

I'm just looking for validation for my potential mistake.

Learned that many moons ago, just chose not to practice it sometimes.

Rex

Bob36

I did this with my Mardi Gras gig- I actually went through the motions - didnt hand my money over to my support (spouse) went to the place at the time I normally score/use- and went right up to the brink- and "owned" my "no" Didn't disable myself- in fact it was in a way completely reckless given my amount of sober time- but somehow it gave me the strength to say no easily- easily- when someone waved a bag of coke in my face later on that night. I needed somehow (and this is just me- and I suppose you are similar) to not have an excuse for why I was sober (I had originally planned to turn my cash over to my wife etc)

And what do you know- but just today, I was going through some pockets of a jacket I hadn't worn in awhile and found a half a gram - now, who in the hell ever had "spare" blow? stuff they "forgot" to do? the odds of that...
Anyway- I flushed it. I looked at it, and chuckled at the irony and flushed it.Times like that are certainly dangerous- but when you win- it builds the confidence- problem of course is that one doesn't always win.

Perfect73

Well, just got home. Had a lot of fun. Drank club soda with lime and had a couple red bulls. Feeling pretty solid and good about life as a sober chick!

Tippingpoint

Good work Perfect73.

I have no issue with going to bars. I'm not afraid of them and I'm under no delusion that they have anything to do with any decision that I might make about drinking. If I decide one day that I want to drink, I'm going to drink ...somewhere.

The time that I've spent in bars and around others who drink since quitting has only served to strengthen my resolve.

To each his own, but there is no right or wrong on this. There is only what is right or wrong for you. Some people will make the decision to drink the Tuesday before they're supposed to go to a bar with friends. They'll post on a website...should I go? They'll feel the anticipation of the drink all week till that night finally arrives. Then they'll go out and get loaded and blame it on the "environment" - I knew that bar was going to get me!

You're in charge.

Elisabeth888

I just got home from a restaurant/bar with my husband. There was a great band playing. I drank red bull too

I had fun. I enjoyed people watching. Most of those people are going to be out until the wee hours and hung over tomorrow, but not me.

Perfect73

Elisabeth888... Sooo true! I actually felt really good about myself watching people make fools out of themselves knowing that when I wake in the morning, I will not be hungover! The music was good, my friends were supportive, I feel stronger than ever. I'm glad that I went and the alcohol doesn't own me!

Sapling

It's a great message...I think all the people that have six weeks should go hang out in bars this weekend...Sounds like fun!

SideStep

Be prepared to get out as soon as you can. I'm 11 months sober, I just met a friend at a bar today for her birthday and left after 30mins because they were already drunk when I got there and I still have trouble dealing with it.

The second you get the urge to drink you need to get out straight away.

Good luck.

Perfect73

Sapling, Wow! Not the message I'm trying to give. It was ok for me. Might not be for others. Live and let live. I was proud of myself, thought I would share my success and was met with sarcasm. Not the kind of support that I'm looking for. Thanks to those that had kind words to say. I won't be signing in again nor will I ever post here. Feel free to respond but I'll never read it. Peace out SR.

Sapling

I'm glad it went well for you...I still wouldn't recommend it for someone in early sobriety...Nor ever will...

augustwest

glad you had fun! I don't go to bars for the ambiance and company, but ill go to one if a particular band is playing that I want to see. music is a big part of my recovery. if my intentions are solid and I have an exit strategy there's no place I cant go and be safe if I have good reason to be there. I got sober for freedom from addiction, not perpetual aversion to every situation that *might* be hazardous.

that being said, I have to carefully check my motives and run it by someone else if I'm uncertain before going places that could be dangerous. And 99% of the time I have no desire to go anywhere where alcohol and drugs are present.

Purplecatlover

Perfect, don't leave! Don't worry about what some have to say. There is a lot of advice here. Just take what you need & ignore the rest.
Some people come across a little too strong but they mean well.
They have your best interests at heart.
They just don't want you to go down the path, they did.
I've had some issues with other SR peeps but I'm still here.
There will always be varied opinions on everything.
Sarcasm isn't nice but that's a personality defect.
Way to go on being strong & enjoying your band!

Purplecatlover

You sometimes have to flex your sober muscle & show yourself you can get through tough situations. For me, it's made me stronger.
You can't hide from life. You know your own limitations.
I realized I could survive Superbowl, parties, tragedies etc, sober.
Gave me more strength to keep going.

Shining~Again

seriously? ONE person says something sarcastic and you dump the entire website?
Hope you settle down and come back, keep sharing and talking with all those who've
been trying to give you support and feedback.