Members Over Forty Club
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I'll be 68 in May, came to recovery in '89 at 45 yrs old (didn't think I'd see 1990).
Will be married 42 yrs in October and have 1 son/DIL and 2 granddaughters. I attend 3-4 AA meetings a week and am totally amazed that it's 2012 !!
I take 1 aspirin and 1 multivitamin daily. Used the 12 Steps to quit smoking in 2005 after 50 yrs.
I wake up every morning and get on my knees immediately to say as humbly as I can "Thy will not mine".. then I go and turn the coffee on and start my day.
Wishing everyone all the best in their recovery.
Bob R
Will be married 42 yrs in October and have 1 son/DIL and 2 granddaughters. I attend 3-4 AA meetings a week and am totally amazed that it's 2012 !!
I take 1 aspirin and 1 multivitamin daily. Used the 12 Steps to quit smoking in 2005 after 50 yrs.
I wake up every morning and get on my knees immediately to say as humbly as I can "Thy will not mine".. then I go and turn the coffee on and start my day.
Wishing everyone all the best in their recovery.
Bob R
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
I got sober at 40.
My lifes a lot quieter than it used to be - but I'm a lot quieter too
After years of trying to be the life of the party, the rock n roll animal, recovery helped me realise that's really not me at all - that was the character I assumed, in part to deal with dealing with people....
Now I'm just me and I really like it
D
My lifes a lot quieter than it used to be - but I'm a lot quieter too
After years of trying to be the life of the party, the rock n roll animal, recovery helped me realise that's really not me at all - that was the character I assumed, in part to deal with dealing with people....
Now I'm just me and I really like it
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
I am 58, coming up to 9 months sober.
I didn't quite understand the question. Were you asking if you could still do all the things you listed while being sober?
I find it the opposite I can't do these things well or at all if I am not sober.
Life is so much easier without the booze.
I have the confidence now to do things were as before I was afraid of myself getting drunk and making a mess of things. I would use alcohol for Dutch courage.
CaiHong
I didn't quite understand the question. Were you asking if you could still do all the things you listed while being sober?
I find it the opposite I can't do these things well or at all if I am not sober.
Life is so much easier without the booze.
I have the confidence now to do things were as before I was afraid of myself getting drunk and making a mess of things. I would use alcohol for Dutch courage.
CaiHong
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
I already have done many of these things but not without a drink to comfort me. Without that crutch i feel shy and raw and have less courage without alcohol ......not more.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
I had to learn to do a lot of things - I'd drunk my entire adult life.
It was like being a baby and learning to walk sometimes...
The good news is we're not babies...and we pick it up pretty quick...just don't be in too much of a hurry EQ...I think it takes what it takes...to me, recovery's not about a destination...it's the journey
D
It was like being a baby and learning to walk sometimes...
The good news is we're not babies...and we pick it up pretty quick...just don't be in too much of a hurry EQ...I think it takes what it takes...to me, recovery's not about a destination...it's the journey
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi EternalQ - I'm way over 40 & unfortunately only 4 yrs. sober. I spent decades insisting I could use willpower to control the amounts I drank. Determined to be a social drinker, I almost died proving it was impossible. I was so reluctant to give it up all together - after all, it was the only way of life I knew.
It's early days yet for you - I was shy & raw for about 2-3 months. I had been living my life in a fog, & it was so strange to 'feel' everything. Now I see that as pathetic - and welcome the emotions. It's the only way we can grow. I don't know why I was afraid to participate in life instead of phoning it in.
Thanks for starting this helpful thread. It will feel less strange as you go along - we promise.
& unfortunately only 4 yrs. sober. I spent decades insisting I could use willpower to control the amounts I drank. Determined to be a social drinker, I almost died proving it was impossible. I was so reluctant to give it up all together - after all, it was the only way of life I knew.It's early days yet for you - I was shy & raw for about 2-3 months. I had been living my life in a fog, & it was so strange to 'feel' everything. Now I see that as pathetic - and welcome the emotions. It's the only way we can grow. I don't know why I was afraid to participate in life instead of phoning it in.
Thanks for starting this helpful thread. It will feel less strange as you go along - we promise.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Originally Posted by gippy1968 
Age is just a number as it is said
I am 44 and find many others both in my age group and time in sobriety. The work/travel thing is hard; if you let it be so.
I just returned from a 3 day trip to NYC where the collective expense accounts were burning red-hot at top tier restaurants on client outings. I actually felt HIGHLY empowered to not only avoid the high class wines that were ordered, but to pay for them. I won't lie and say it was easy, but it was very empowering (especially when others became visibily and audibly inebriated). A client asked me why I wasnt drinking and I told him 'actually Joe, I am a professional drinker'. After the dinner he asked if I was in the program as his wife has been for many years. He said he had the upmost respect for us in recovery and told me that by showing an AA coin to my server, all of my non-alcoholic drinks were usually FOC (worked like a charm).
My point is: if you are mentally prepared to face alcohol at whatever gathering, meeting or trip you have scheduled, its much easier. Research meetings beforehand. Utilize SR whenever you can. Have the front-desk remove all alcohol from the minibar. Do what it takes to fiercely defend your sobriety and your life.
My experience and stay true to you.
G
I am 44 and find many others both in my age group and time in sobriety. The work/travel thing is hard; if you let it be so.
I just returned from a 3 day trip to NYC where the collective expense accounts were burning red-hot at top tier restaurants on client outings. I actually felt HIGHLY empowered to not only avoid the high class wines that were ordered, but to pay for them. I won't lie and say it was easy, but it was very empowering (especially when others became visibily and audibly inebriated). A client asked me why I wasnt drinking and I told him 'actually Joe, I am a professional drinker'. After the dinner he asked if I was in the program as his wife has been for many years. He said he had the upmost respect for us in recovery and told me that by showing an AA coin to my server, all of my non-alcoholic drinks were usually FOC (worked like a charm).
My point is: if you are mentally prepared to face alcohol at whatever gathering, meeting or trip you have scheduled, its much easier. Research meetings beforehand. Utilize SR whenever you can. Have the front-desk remove all alcohol from the minibar. Do what it takes to fiercely defend your sobriety and your life.
My experience and stay true to you.
G
I still enjoyed a night at Navy pier. I had dinner at Haray Carays with two guys who were able to enjoy a single drink and be done. Funny, I still remember what they had but can't remember what I had (but it was non-alcoholic).
I also slept very well, called my wife, talked to my kids, talked to my sponsor, and kept up on email.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
I got sober at 42 and I'm now 44, so I guess I'm included in this group. Don't have time to add much now except to say that I think I've done more with my life in the last 2 years than I did in my entire 30's. In fact, I often look back at the last decade and cringe at the waste it was. Oh well, as they say, 40 is the new 30, so I guess that means we get a do-over lol.
Don't have time to add much now except to say that I think I've done more with my life in the last 2 years than I did in my entire 30's. In fact, I often look back at the last decade and cringe at the waste it was. Oh well, as they say, 40 is the new 30, so I guess that means we get a do-over lol. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
I'm 42, got sober at 41 and am pretty sure I wouldn't have seen 45 if I had not quit. I started drinking "socially" at 15 and really started pouring down around 20. The hardest part I found with quitting was dealing with family conflicts without a drink to um "calm me down". I like myself a lot better sober that I ever did while I was drunk, I just wish it wouldn't have taken me 20 years to figure that out.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I was a late-bloomer and didn't start drinking until my mid-forties. Circumstances in my life to that point, left me wide open to addiction, though I had no idea. So, after three crazy years, I managed to stop and embrace my new life. I am so, so grateful every day.
In the years since I stopped drinking, both of my children became engaged, got married and I now have four gorgeous grandchildren, all under the age of 3. My husband is my dearest friend. Life is amazing. When I think I could have missed out on these years because of my addiction, it seems unbelieveable.
In the years since I stopped drinking, both of my children became engaged, got married and I now have four gorgeous grandchildren, all under the age of 3. My husband is my dearest friend. Life is amazing. When I think I could have missed out on these years because of my addiction, it seems unbelieveable.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by gippy1968
A client asked me why I wasnt drinking and I told him 'actually Joe, I am a professional drinker'. After the dinner he asked if I was in the program as his wife has been for many years. He said he had the upmost respect for us in recovery and told me that by showing an AA coin to my server, all of my non-alcoholic drinks were usually FOC (worked like a charm).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 128
Count me in on the way over 40 crowd. I'm 52, have been working at getting to sobriety for a couple of years but this time it's looking and feeling very promising. Sometimes I look around when I go to a meeting and think about how so many of those people were so much younger than me when they came to sobriety, but I remind myself that it's never too late. My sobriety is for me, not them.
I like the idea of this thread, BTW. It's good to have a space for us old folks
I like the idea of this thread, BTW. It's good to have a space for us old folks
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
let's see, I started drinking between sixth and seventh grades, drank beer heavily for about ten years and got the first dui.
Drank beer and booze heavily for another ten and got a dwi.
Drank booze heavily for another eight years and got the third ticket dwi (blew a .21 after sleeping 2 hours in a car)
Sobered up for a little over 2 years, hated it. drank scotch for about 12 years, I'm fifty four now, that makes roughly forty years of drinking.
Had plenty of blood tests, all is well, Right now, the most convincing thing I've been telling myself to stay sober is how good if feels to wake up without a hangover.
Drank beer and booze heavily for another ten and got a dwi.
Drank booze heavily for another eight years and got the third ticket dwi (blew a .21 after sleeping 2 hours in a car)
Sobered up for a little over 2 years, hated it. drank scotch for about 12 years, I'm fifty four now, that makes roughly forty years of drinking.
Had plenty of blood tests, all is well, Right now, the most convincing thing I've been telling myself to stay sober is how good if feels to wake up without a hangover.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I have a lady in my homegroup whose grandmother never drank...At the age of 80 her doctor recommended a couple glasses of wine at night to help her sleep. She became a full blown alkie and was speaking at AA meetings at the age of 84....80 years to get that first drink and it was off to the races...It just makes me more certain...I was an alkie before I ever picked up...I was different from the start. Age....Alcohol doesn't care.
once in a . . .
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
At 34yo, after 8 excruciatingly long years of trying to get sober on my own, I crawled into an AA meeting.
I picked up my 20 year chip 2 weeks ago. Then I celebrated my 20yrs and my 54th birthday with my husband, son (+ gf) + our 5 g-daughters. Son’s GF confided to me that she is also in recovery and will have 10yrs this month.
It was the bestest b-day I’ve ever had.
Changes? OMG – so many!
I’ve been blessed to be able to watch my son grow from bratty 13yo into a young man + daddy. (CPS had previously taken him away from me.) if I ever need anyone beat up, he’s the one to do it.
I’ve been blessed to have met my dear “mr. blue” in an AA mtg – we’ve been together almost 20 yrs. He is my best friend + my rock.
G-daughters are just plain AWESOME!
Mr. Blue + I live in a one room apartment. It is our castle.
No car. Oh well. That’s what AA friends + buses are for.
I have friends today – something I never let myself have when I was drinking. I have people I can call day or night and they’ll be there for me. What a concept.
I’ve found strength, courage and serenity that I never could have imagined. It’s allowed me to walk through some really bad times and to dance through the good ones.
The ability to dance now helps me get thru the times when I have to crawl.
Sobriety is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it’s given me SO much.
Blue
I picked up my 20 year chip 2 weeks ago. Then I celebrated my 20yrs and my 54th birthday with my husband, son (+ gf) + our 5 g-daughters. Son’s GF confided to me that she is also in recovery and will have 10yrs this month.
It was the bestest b-day I’ve ever had.
Changes? OMG – so many!
I’ve been blessed to be able to watch my son grow from bratty 13yo into a young man + daddy. (CPS had previously taken him away from me.) if I ever need anyone beat up, he’s the one to do it.
I’ve been blessed to have met my dear “mr. blue” in an AA mtg – we’ve been together almost 20 yrs. He is my best friend + my rock.
G-daughters are just plain AWESOME!
Mr. Blue + I live in a one room apartment. It is our castle.
No car. Oh well. That’s what AA friends + buses are for.
I have friends today – something I never let myself have when I was drinking. I have people I can call day or night and they’ll be there for me. What a concept.
I’ve found strength, courage and serenity that I never could have imagined. It’s allowed me to walk through some really bad times and to dance through the good ones.
The ability to dance now helps me get thru the times when I have to crawl.
Sobriety is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But it’s given me SO much.
Blue
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