new here and anxious
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: dyer,indiana
Posts: 1
new here and anxious
hi everyone
I am just beginning my recovery. I am a stay at home mom of 3 boys- and dont have many people to talk to. I am still in the process of convincing my husband I really have a problem,but he is in denial,as an extreme co-dependant. Lots of things led me to this point in life,mostly being ocd with depression and panic disorder most of my life.
The worst and hardest part of staying sober is the routine I have built around the drinking. Every night for many years- kids go to bed,I hit the bottle- i would sit outside in our covered porch sunshine,rain and below zero to have my cigarettes,martinis and or wine.
Now I am completely unsure of what to do to pass the time other than just go to bed at 7pm nightly. i spend my whole day at home (not much extra money to go places) and the drinking really breaks up the day,that one thing to look forward to. No hobbies seem interesting to me,especially in winter and after a 12 hour work day,my husband just wants to stare at the tv with the dog.
But Ive had enough of this liquor. its ruining my health and making my depression worse. I dont even like it,just the end result. hope to make so friends in my journey.
m
I am just beginning my recovery. I am a stay at home mom of 3 boys- and dont have many people to talk to. I am still in the process of convincing my husband I really have a problem,but he is in denial,as an extreme co-dependant. Lots of things led me to this point in life,mostly being ocd with depression and panic disorder most of my life.
The worst and hardest part of staying sober is the routine I have built around the drinking. Every night for many years- kids go to bed,I hit the bottle- i would sit outside in our covered porch sunshine,rain and below zero to have my cigarettes,martinis and or wine.
Now I am completely unsure of what to do to pass the time other than just go to bed at 7pm nightly. i spend my whole day at home (not much extra money to go places) and the drinking really breaks up the day,that one thing to look forward to. No hobbies seem interesting to me,especially in winter and after a 12 hour work day,my husband just wants to stare at the tv with the dog.
But Ive had enough of this liquor. its ruining my health and making my depression worse. I dont even like it,just the end result. hope to make so friends in my journey.
m
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
There are probably AA meetings in your town.
A great place to make friends and travel the road to recovery together.
(We ALL came to recovery "new and anxious")
Wishing you the best.
Bob R
A great place to make friends and travel the road to recovery together.
(We ALL came to recovery "new and anxious")
Wishing you the best.
Bob R
So it goes
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,620
As the comments say, try AA, if you cant , SR is good, there are chat rooms, the forums are great, and there are even the cafe bits. It all helps, the more building blocks you can place down for your recovery , the stronger it will be.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I have to agree with above...I'm in the program of AA..And my sponsor wanted me to do 90 meetings in 90 days..Keep me out of trouble...I found a place that had a 5:30 and a 7:00 meeting 7 days a week...Those were hours that I'd normally get primed for the night. I made that a couple of hours a night that I looked forward to and met people that didn't drink and talked about recovery. That was major in my first 3 months of recovery...As well as reading the Big Book and working the 12 steps. I needed something life changing...And that's what I got. Best of luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi and welcome Medusa,
When you are drinking it is hard to see anything differently. Drink was the reward at the end of the day and other times if I was really good.
I couldn't imagine life without my reward otherwise what was the point.
Getting near 9 months sober with the help of AA and this forum my life has completely turned around. I was so stuck in a rut with drinking, depression being part of that rut mainly caused by alcohol.
I strongly suggest getting to AA for the support and fellowship especially if you are isolated during the day.
CaiHong
When you are drinking it is hard to see anything differently. Drink was the reward at the end of the day and other times if I was really good.
I couldn't imagine life without my reward otherwise what was the point.
Getting near 9 months sober with the help of AA and this forum my life has completely turned around. I was so stuck in a rut with drinking, depression being part of that rut mainly caused by alcohol.
I strongly suggest getting to AA for the support and fellowship especially if you are isolated during the day.
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Welcome to SR. I too have a pattern of drinking--and a husband who has been hard to convince there is a problem. In order to keep me from drinking myself to death we go out to drink (kids are gone) and that has allowed us to get into enough trouble that he has started to worry. I think if we just sat home and drank he would never get the picture.
But you have to make this decision for yourself. And I do think some kind of a hobby is going to be helpful to you. You will probably find yourself more interested in hobbies once your free time isn't foggy. I have a couple of things I love to do, but one drink in and I don't care anymore. So you have to give that a little time.
Anyway, you want your boys to get as much of you as there is to offer--not for them, for you. I have tried to take care of the gkids hungover and I'm not proud of that. I want them to have the best I have. And so do you--or you wouldn't wait till they go to sleep to drink.
Can you try to follow your same pattern only drink green tea? You can still sit outside.
And meetings, I'm sure, would be helpful.
But you have to make this decision for yourself. And I do think some kind of a hobby is going to be helpful to you. You will probably find yourself more interested in hobbies once your free time isn't foggy. I have a couple of things I love to do, but one drink in and I don't care anymore. So you have to give that a little time.
Anyway, you want your boys to get as much of you as there is to offer--not for them, for you. I have tried to take care of the gkids hungover and I'm not proud of that. I want them to have the best I have. And so do you--or you wouldn't wait till they go to sleep to drink.
Can you try to follow your same pattern only drink green tea? You can still sit outside.
And meetings, I'm sure, would be helpful.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome!
I can relate to so many things you said (including the cigarettes/drinks on the porch in freezing temperatures!). It was really hard at first to find things to be interested in - I didn't have much energy or motivation. Most of my evenings early in sobriety were spent here on the forum.
Be patient with yourself - it takes time to negotiate this new territory. It really does get better, though. Today I have too many things I want to do!
Glad you're here!!
I can relate to so many things you said (including the cigarettes/drinks on the porch in freezing temperatures!). It was really hard at first to find things to be interested in - I didn't have much energy or motivation. Most of my evenings early in sobriety were spent here on the forum.
Be patient with yourself - it takes time to negotiate this new territory. It really does get better, though. Today I have too many things I want to do!
Glad you're here!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Winson
Posts: 5
welcome.. I have the same fear too. This 2 past years have been hard for me to stand up. but life continues.. it's precious than anything so I came to this forum, looking for friends that doesn't judge me. anyway.. good luck.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
Originally Posted by medusa79 
hi everyone
I am just beginning my recovery. I am a stay at home mom of 3 boys- and dont have many people to talk to. I am still in the process of convincing my husband I really have a problem,but he is in denial,as an extreme co-dependant. Lots of things led me to this point in life,mostly being ocd with depression and panic disorder most of my life.
The worst and hardest part of staying sober is the routine I have built around the drinking. Every night for many years- kids go to bed,I hit the bottle- i would sit outside in our covered porch sunshine,rain and below zero to have my cigarettes,martinis and or wine.
Now I am completely unsure of what to do to pass the time other than just go to bed at 7pm nightly. i spend my whole day at home (not much extra money to go places) and the drinking really breaks up the day,that one thing to look forward to. No hobbies seem interesting to me,especially in winter and after a 12 hour work day,my husband just wants to stare at the tv with the dog.
But Ive had enough of this liquor. its ruining my health and making my depression worse. I dont even like it,just the end result. hope to make so friends in my journey.
m
I am just beginning my recovery. I am a stay at home mom of 3 boys- and dont have many people to talk to. I am still in the process of convincing my husband I really have a problem,but he is in denial,as an extreme co-dependant. Lots of things led me to this point in life,mostly being ocd with depression and panic disorder most of my life.
The worst and hardest part of staying sober is the routine I have built around the drinking. Every night for many years- kids go to bed,I hit the bottle- i would sit outside in our covered porch sunshine,rain and below zero to have my cigarettes,martinis and or wine.
Now I am completely unsure of what to do to pass the time other than just go to bed at 7pm nightly. i spend my whole day at home (not much extra money to go places) and the drinking really breaks up the day,that one thing to look forward to. No hobbies seem interesting to me,especially in winter and after a 12 hour work day,my husband just wants to stare at the tv with the dog.
But Ive had enough of this liquor. its ruining my health and making my depression worse. I dont even like it,just the end result. hope to make so friends in my journey.
m
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Lubbock
Posts: 13
Welcome to the forums. Today is my first day on here and I have found that there is a lot of people on here that care about your recovery and can be a great support.
I am only on day 8 of sobriety and I haven't looked back yet. Take a look at AA meetings, I haven't gone to one just yet, still gathering that courage to do so. Finding a sponsor will also really help you out. Working the 12 steps also is a great thing. Pick up the AA book and the Twelve and Twelve book, I find that doing daily readings really helps me.
Best of luck and don't give up.
I am only on day 8 of sobriety and I haven't looked back yet. Take a look at AA meetings, I haven't gone to one just yet, still gathering that courage to do so. Finding a sponsor will also really help you out. Working the 12 steps also is a great thing. Pick up the AA book and the Twelve and Twelve book, I find that doing daily readings really helps me.
Best of luck and don't give up.
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