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Old 02-22-2012, 03:58 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by suic View Post
My thinking is just so irrational. I don't know how to fight that sometimes.
Simple answer....Don't think.....Listen to someone that has done what you want...And let them show you how to do it. Get off your high horse...Get humble...And get busy....Or keep killing yourself....Your choice...Nobody here can make you do it.
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Old 02-22-2012, 04:40 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Alcoholism is deadly. For most of us, it will rob us of our sanity, health, financial security, jobs and relationships before it gives us that last acute horrific death. Some of us will go faster due to accidents or suicide.

And I put that in the most simple literal language I could. No drama, no exaggeration.

If you got that diagnosis with a physical/medical condition, would you treat it? how far would you go? Would you at least attempt to use any of several methods that have proved effective in other people with that condition?

Some of us would say no. Some of us would say yes. But that is pretty much the situation.

Most of the people here are not judgemental, many are tee totalers because their lives depend on it. Nearly all of us have been in a situation very very similar to your own, and many of us have gone farther down the tubes than you have.

People here aren't preaching, they are sharing their own experiences with others, who have self identified by coming to this site in the first place.

That's pretty much the lay of the land.
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Old 02-22-2012, 05:07 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by suic View Post
Isn't that f'd up. I'm here for a reason. I belong here on this forum. My substance abuse issues are more acute than Andy Reid's obesity. I took an "am i an addict quiz" and scored a 9. They say if you score 6-8 your in deep water.
There is your answer.

Take it from a chronically relapsing alcoholic/addict of 56 who let his disease rule when he had plenty of chances, not including much good quality recovery, to not have taken it more seriously, and find myself a quarter mill in debt, less than 48 hours sober, almost at the point of losing all I worked for all my life, including one that loves me........trying one more time, to get off the canvas before the count of ten.......

You don't want to take this lightly, and wind up like me......

Yeah.....I never thought so either.......

Rex
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Old 02-22-2012, 05:28 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by suic View Post
I want to go to treatment but:

A. I'd have to jeapardize my job
B. I'd have to quit a semester of school
C. I don't have medical insurance
D. I would lose my family

I'm conflicted. Other than my health and sanity deteriorating rapidly I'm "functional" but this addiction is just killing me. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared. I have a BUSY schedule and I don't have a lot of time to allocate to recovery/AA right now...

What approach should I take to make it work finally?
What approach you take is entirely up to you, but you may want to look into the method of Rational Recovery, known as AVRT. It is an aggressive 'program' of self-recovery that can be learned from reading alone. It is completely private, with no meetings, and no time away from home, school, or work. There is an active thread on it in the secular connections forum.
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Old 02-22-2012, 05:52 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I'm curious about your comment that you don't have time for AA or some other recovery program. Why not use the time you would be at a bar or drinking to pursue that?

I'm a newbie here but I will share with you the simplest, and yet (for me) most profound piece of advice I saw here...

Which will you regret more...taking a drink or refusing a drink?

Getting sober is hard, boring, physically and emotionally demanding, etc. So is drinking. There is some great advice and support on this site to help with the process. Yes, there may be some "judgemental teetotalers", but they are few and far between. Personally, I feel lucky to have found this place and these folks.
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Old 02-22-2012, 06:12 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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We are definitely not a bunch of judgemental teetotlars here.

Suic, in your original post on this thread, you said that you will lose your family if you seek help for your addiction. I hope that's not true.
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Old 02-22-2012, 06:20 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by suic
I think of them as judgemental tee-totalers.
Consider the possibility that habitual alcohol and drug abuse can make one self-conscious, paranoid, and thin-skinned. It's quite possible that this assumption is not always grounded in reality, given the nature of addiction.
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:26 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I work at 445 in the morning. Adderall is essential for me to last through those shifts. I have to get it illegally from drug dealers tho.
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:36 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I used to work shiftwork - my father worked shiftwork for 40 years.
Adderal - or any other drug - was not essential for either of us to do that suic.

You really have to decide what side of the fence you're on, man...if my experience is any guide, while you're dithering, things will get worse.

D
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:37 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by suic View Post
I work at 445 in the morning. Adderall is essential for me to last through those shifts. I have to get it illegally from drug dealers tho.
Good luck on your journey.
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:24 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Suic
I really think the hardest step in all this is to really admit you are powerless over alcohol and really want to change. That means admitting you are addicted.

I think when I took step one I really deep down didn't believe it but went along with the program because I wanted change. I did change and I know in my heart of hearts that I am an alcoholic. Today I have no desire to drink.
I am so grateful that I came to the realizatin that I am an alcoholic and can't drink ever.

AA and this forum helped me to get there.

CaiHong
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Old 02-23-2012, 07:28 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Sapling View Post
Good luck on your journey.
Journey to an early, excruciating death if I continue to utilize this mentality. lol
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Old 02-23-2012, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted by suic
Journey to an early, excruciating death if I continue to utilize this mentality. lol
or not...

you get to choose.

What's interesting to me is that in some of your posts you're already calling yourself out on some of your own BS. You are recognizing that you might possibly have some flawed thinking. Whether you take action beyond that is entirely up to you. You are capable of being fully recovered from your addiction...you do know that right?

Have you read all the forums and looked into the varied options for quitting?
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