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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Lewis Center, Ohio
Posts: 12
New here
Hello everyone. I am almost 6 weeks sober. My mother was an alcoholic and when I began seeing the symptoms in myself (even though everyone around me couldn't see a problem) I chose to quit drinking. Apparently I hid it well. I have a supportive husband who still drinks and supportive friends but they don't quite understand how difficult some days are when you have an addiction. I cry randomly sometimes because I'm not sure how to cope with raw emotions. I'm hoping to find some peace and encouragement here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR....You're making a good choice. The only encouragement I can give you is my own history....I was a hopeless alcoholic...Not too good at hiding it...I ran out of ways to quit and walked through the doors of AA...I'd had enough....For the first time in my life I listened to somebody else...Followed directions and did what I was told. I haven't had a drink in 8 months and for the first time after 35 years of drinking I'm finally figuring out what life is. There are other ways to do it...They all take some effort on your part. Find a way and give it everything you got. You can do it.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Welcome to SR!
I'm not a fan of dealing with my emotions either ..... the only way I knew how was to drink. It made them "go away" for a short time, but of course, they were always there.
I use AA now; I love it, and it works. I was also helped a lot by one-on-one therapy.
I think it's nearly impossible for someone who isn't a alcoholic or addict to really get it. Hell, sometimes I don't even get it.
The important thing is that you're doing it. Even more important, you do not have to do it alone. So glad you found us!
I'm not a fan of dealing with my emotions either ..... the only way I knew how was to drink. It made them "go away" for a short time, but of course, they were always there.
I use AA now; I love it, and it works. I was also helped a lot by one-on-one therapy.
I think it's nearly impossible for someone who isn't a alcoholic or addict to really get it. Hell, sometimes I don't even get it.
The important thing is that you're doing it. Even more important, you do not have to do it alone. So glad you found us!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Lewis Center, Ohio
Posts: 12
I'm so happy that I found this site. Thank you for your replies. I have a feeling of hope now that I didn't before. It's encouraging to know there are people that truly know the difficulties that come with recovery.... Thanks again!!!!
LIVING SOBER
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Cent MD
Posts: 104
Perfect, I would not worry about crying at this point.
I will be 59 in a couple of weeks, and I am a man that cries sometimes just watching a scene from a movie.
I think I am developing sympathy, empathy, and compassion.
One of the things that have been missing in my life for 45 years.
One of the great things that I am finding about my recovery is that I do have those motions.
I can, to the best of my ability, face life on life’s terms, but I do not have to walk around as a zombie saying,
“Oh well, what the hell.”
I will be 59 in a couple of weeks, and I am a man that cries sometimes just watching a scene from a movie.
I think I am developing sympathy, empathy, and compassion.
One of the things that have been missing in my life for 45 years.
One of the great things that I am finding about my recovery is that I do have those motions.
I can, to the best of my ability, face life on life’s terms, but I do not have to walk around as a zombie saying,
“Oh well, what the hell.”
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome Perfect73 
I didn't know how to deal with the flood of emotions either - but I got used to it with practice, things quietened down, and I wouldn't be without them now
glad to have you with us
D
I didn't know how to deal with the flood of emotions either - but I got used to it with practice, things quietened down, and I wouldn't be without them now
glad to have you with us
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 92
Welcome Perfect!
Congratulations on 6 weeks, that is awesome!!! My emotions were all over the place in the beginning too, my friends and boyfriend referred to me as "the hot mess over there!" I would cry for no reason, refuse to explain why, anx out over practically nothing, it was really fun for everyone. AA really helped, i could cry there and all of the ladies would hand me tissues and make sure i was ok. I look forward to hearing how you are doing! Take good care of yourself! xo
Congratulations on 6 weeks, that is awesome!!! My emotions were all over the place in the beginning too, my friends and boyfriend referred to me as "the hot mess over there!" I would cry for no reason, refuse to explain why, anx out over practically nothing, it was really fun for everyone. AA really helped, i could cry there and all of the ladies would hand me tissues and make sure i was ok. I look forward to hearing how you are doing! Take good care of yourself! xo
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi perfect! I felt instantly less anxious when I found this place. Up until then, I was on my own - no one in my life understood what I was going through. Joining SR kept me from feeling like an alien. So glad you found us - we're here to help.
So glad you found us - we're here to help.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
one of the important discoveries that i made in recovery was that i had allowed anger and fear to dominate my emotional spectrum. Like Look4 said- empathy, sympathy, grief, pain and compassion are all part of human emotions- I am grateful that i now can [usually] allow myself the REST of that spectrum....
Someone told me that they had done it and that i could do it too....
Someone told me that they had done it and that i could do it too....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Welcome Perfect 73...that too shall pass...I was an emotional wreck in the beginning...I know you'll be fine. You'll learn how to sort out feelings and use them more wisely. Crying cleanses the soul there is nothing wrong with crying. But don't forget the other emotions -balance it out with letting yourself laugh and be upset over something.
I have had to reconnect with all my emotions that I supressed for the past 30 years. Being neutral in every situation, not showing my true feelings or even stating what I really felt verbally. HA, don't ask me what I think now...I'll tell you the truth!! =)
Just go with it...learn to feel them and identify with them.
Wishing you peace and strength.
I have had to reconnect with all my emotions that I supressed for the past 30 years. Being neutral in every situation, not showing my true feelings or even stating what I really felt verbally. HA, don't ask me what I think now...I'll tell you the truth!! =)
Just go with it...learn to feel them and identify with them.
Wishing you peace and strength.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Lewis Center, Ohio
Posts: 12
I think i will be spending a lot less time on facebook and a lot more here! The encouraging words are what i need. I chose the username "Perfect" because i spent a weekend around my drinking friends and wondered what they thought of the new me. When i asked... the word my friend used to describe the sober me was "Perfect". It felt good to know i am still fun to be around but I know im going to need you guys to get me through the rough times. I need people that are going through what im going through. To the non addicts it seems so easy...Watching my husband do shots with a friend about put me over the edge. I held strong and went searching for support. This isnt easy but im determined. Im sure i will be saying Thank You a lot on this site but it will be from the heart every time! Thank You!!!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome perfect! I like the story behind your name....
I definitely think people prefer the sober me, too...... I feel more connected to others and to myself now. Surprisingly, it's actually easier to have fun when I'm not worried about how much I've had to drink and where the next one's coming from..... (a clear head helps, too!)
Trust the process and hang in there - it does take some time to adjust, but it keeps getting better!:day6
I definitely think people prefer the sober me, too...... I feel more connected to others and to myself now. Surprisingly, it's actually easier to have fun when I'm not worried about how much I've had to drink and where the next one's coming from..... (a clear head helps, too!)
Trust the process and hang in there - it does take some time to adjust, but it keeps getting better!:day6
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 23
Hi Perfect,
I had abstained from AL for one week because I am trying to lose weight (lol...I also really need to stop drinking). Anyway, then I left for a vacation with my family and my husband orders wine at dinner our first night out, it drives me crazy but I say nothing. The next day he orders wine at lunch, I succumb and have two sips of his wine (there goes my week sober
that night I have two glasses with him and feel like such a loser. He says to me that it was only 2 glasses that's okay but what he doesn't realize it that while he was watching tv I topped up my first glass another 3oz. or so and that I was on the verge of cranking open another bottle but white knuckled against it.
The next evening we are out for dinner and we are on our third glass each and I'm hoping that he will go to the bathroom so I can drink some of his (he would never notice because he doesn't have a problem and I'm wanting more!)
That's pretty messed up right? So I totally get what you are saying about find it hard to watch your husband doing shots. Oh, one more thing, at dinner last night my husband brings up an episode a couple of weeks ago when I was very intoxicated in public, falling off a chair! Yet, here we are on vacation drinking wine together, no problem! I know that this is not his fault and that I need to have a serious talk with him but I do find it frustrating how someone as smart as him can be so naive.
Sorry for rambling, I just needed to vent.
I had abstained from AL for one week because I am trying to lose weight (lol...I also really need to stop drinking). Anyway, then I left for a vacation with my family and my husband orders wine at dinner our first night out, it drives me crazy but I say nothing. The next day he orders wine at lunch, I succumb and have two sips of his wine (there goes my week sober
that night I have two glasses with him and feel like such a loser. He says to me that it was only 2 glasses that's okay but what he doesn't realize it that while he was watching tv I topped up my first glass another 3oz. or so and that I was on the verge of cranking open another bottle but white knuckled against it.The next evening we are out for dinner and we are on our third glass each and I'm hoping that he will go to the bathroom so I can drink some of his (he would never notice because he doesn't have a problem and I'm wanting more!)
That's pretty messed up right? So I totally get what you are saying about find it hard to watch your husband doing shots. Oh, one more thing, at dinner last night my husband brings up an episode a couple of weeks ago when I was very intoxicated in public, falling off a chair! Yet, here we are on vacation drinking wine together, no problem! I know that this is not his fault and that I need to have a serious talk with him but I do find it frustrating how someone as smart as him can be so naive.
Sorry for rambling, I just needed to vent.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Lewis Center, Ohio
Posts: 12
Luckygirl, it seems that you and I have a lot in common. My husband didn't realize how bad it was for me until he figured out that I was doing whiskey shots at 9am on a Wed. He was oblivious until I told him. At night I would drink a glass of wine and go into the kitchen and do a shot. All the while he thinks that I only had one glass of wine. I finally fessed up because I knew I had a problem and he needed to know it too. We are going on vacation soon. This should be interesting.... I'll keep you posted.
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