Brian4000

I just wanted to say hello, this is the first time I have been on here. I am 40 years old. I was almost 2 years sober and last weekend I fell off the wagon, 2 years down the drain. Time to pick myself up, dust off and start all over again. I am hoping to meet some people to talk to because all my friends drink and its hard to talk to them. I cant afford to slip anymore, 3 years ago my doctors told me I am in the forth and final stage of chirosis( sorry about the spelling). I am on a liver donor list but i am thinking about taking myself off of it, because i feel i dont deserve it. I now live in North Carolina, I used to be a bartender in Ohio and I would know what to say goodbye to all my friends there without letting them know whats going on but i dont know how to do it, can anyone suggest something? They know I am sick but they dont know how bad and I dont want them to know. I thought about leaving them something on facebook but i dont know what to put. I look foward to chatting with you. Thanks Brian

look4billw

Hello Brian, you probably already know this in your heart, but you must remember that you have two years away from alcohol and the damage that it was doing. You now have to ask yourself the question “ Since I have no positive way of knowing what’s in store for tomorrow, do I really want to give up and go out without a fight?” Who knows, a new liver, and not drinking one-day and time, may give you the peace and serenity in a wonderful life of recovery that you may be giving up.
As far as your friends and Ohio go, I think honesty is the best policy.
If you just tell them that, your hard living has taken its toll, and left you with yet another obstacle in your life. That the times that you shared with them are the things that bring back fond memories.
Your true friends will make their presence and their feelings known to you.

langkah

Be honest with your Doctor and if you are in a group for those awaiting transplants share what happened with them also. If your drinking continues then I agree you should take yourself off the waiting list.

Getting together with your old friends depends on if you've given up or not. If you're going to go back to drinking for the little time you've left then why not do that among people you used to know.

If you're going to try and stop again then being among old drinking pals might make that more difficult for you.

You could write out letters or a FB post saying what you want to say and have a relative post it or mail them after you're gone if you're not comfortable doing it now.

LadyNoBinge

Congratulations on almost 2 years sober! I am sorry about your relapse, but that does not fully negate the accomplishment of living almost 2 years without alcohol. I am a little confused about your friends situation in NC. If you weren't drinking for 2 years, how are they hard to talk to about your sobriety? Did they not have any idea you didn't drink? AA is a great place to meet people who don't drink and understand what you are going through, have you tried meetings? Thank you for posting, I look forward to hear abou what is going on with your progress! xoxo

2granddaughters

Brian, are you attending AA meetings ?
They saved (and are saving) my life.

All the best .

Bob

Brian4000

Thank you everyone for the great advice. As far as answering your questions here goes. My friends in N.C. were supporting me but at the same time waiting for me to fail and AA around here is a joke, thats where people go to hookup, I went about 5 times and just quit going after that. I went to AA in Ohio and I loved it, but my family is here.Thanks again, Brian