MycoolFitz

Fell asleep and had one. Even in my dream I thought this is nuts. It seemed like a nightmare. Woke up and got on SR it was like a relapse in my head. Boy it is a powerful dis-ease but am settling down now. I so much appreciate you all here. Even a dream relapse is tough. Think I'll listen to some R&R

JohnnyDetox

I hate the first few moments after waking and not knowing if it was real or a dream. Instant panic. Dang!

SomethingBetter

I know that feeling!

Glad it was just a dream

Brian4000

i have that dream all time. I am an ex bartender my girlfriend would wake up in the middle of the night and I would have my hands up in the air and I would be pouring a draft.haha

GirlFromCO

Ugh, I hate those dreams. But I LOVE realizing I didn't drink!!!

dorito281211

As do I.... I shared my experience as soon as I did a meeting and talked bout sobriety and my desire to not drink-I think these dreams are important

BillyPilgrim

Fitz, it is your higher power reminding you why you dont drink.

Jeans

I had a relapse dream too and it sucks. I suppose it's because we're concentrating on not drinking and it's constantlly in the back of our minds. I also keep dreaming of eating everything in sight too!!! That must be the constant sugar craving.

thanks for the thread

ashevilleredo

I've been having lots of drinking dreams during this 3-week stretch of sobriety. Interesting that others do too, feel guilty upon waking, relieved/joyful that you didn't really relapse...mine seem like highly plausible relapse scenarios, or even just having a few and then quitting with guilt, but also feeling like you failed despite not going "all in" etc...waking up disappointed, "at least I didn't get wasted," then realizing it was just a very realistic dream.
I've been having a new dream this go-around...basically I'm going to secret locations that -- once I encounter them in the dream (one has been a forgotten dead-end road with a logging trail you can drive down to a secluded area w/ abandoned farmhouse) this place is recognized as a place that has always been the secret stash place of all my dreams, even though I know (or think at least) that it's a newly fabricated creation specific to this time period of dreaming. Anyhow, the secret place has its own "dream history," it's a new thing but I seem to have full familiarity with it ("you always physically hide contraband here"/"you always store important belongings here that you want to save or protect, and you've always done this here in your dream world throughout all the dreams you've ever had), but this time (as opposed to the fictitious other times in the "history") something gets messed up when I'm "making the drop" or retrieving something private and personal...I'll get in an accident and my license plate will fall off and get left behind...people from my normal life will happen to be hiking by and see me accessing my secret spot...or some crazy hill people will appear and chase me back to my day-to-day world/house...meaning there's been a gigantic security breach, my stash house is compromised, and my private/public life is now threatened by the two worlds colliding...I know it's about this 4th step I'm dreading because I'm terrified of getting to the 5th step, same ones I avoided the first time I went to AA and which I'm pretty sure is why I got back out of it until now. I don't have secrets that could get me in legal trouble or anything like that, but a whole pile of little hidden secrets and suppressed scandals and shameful episodes and I think worst of all just bitter, petty, burning resentments.

MycoolFitz

Thanks all I need to remember I have more non drinking dreams. Its where I need to focus. Last night I dreamed I was a rock star, pretty awesom course only slept about two hours. Life is as good as I allow it to be.

midgetcop

Wow. I had a drinking dream last night too. I truly felt guilty and shameful (in the dream), and even contemplated drinking again to "really make one last go of it".

All these familiar, cyclical emotions.

I'm so grateful I woke up sober. It's good to have these dreams once in awhile, coolFitz. Drinking IS a nightmare.

WhySoSerious

I've had 3 since i stopped 2 weeks ago... its the worst feeling when you first wake up in a panic, but then you realize and its ok

Dazee

I hate those dreams. The times I have slipped have been the same day I've had one. I wake with panic, then relief, and the rest of the day the images of alcohol keep intruding into my mind, driving me mad.
Right now they feel like the achilles heel of my recovery

DayTrader

Drinking dreams are a good reality check for me. Each one I've had has been set in the present - i.e. I've got months or years of sobriety under my belt and then BAM....... I'm getting loaded. They're good reminders to me to not trust just in just my ability to keep myself sober.

MycoolFitz

Funny my dreams are not like this is good but filled with shame and regret so maybe its just the brain washing itself clean. So good to be awake and sober if not sane.

Impurrfect

(((Fitz))) - I honestly can't remember the last "using" dream where I wanted to, or did use. Most of my dreams are me trying to get away from my DOC...I'll wake up, trying to run like hell.

I'm not saying I'll never have a using dream like I used to, but I'm glad my "recovery brain" has snuck into my dreams

Didn't it feel GREAT, though? To wake up and realize it was just a dream?

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

MycoolFitz

It's just good to wake up. Every day is precious. I need to respect every sober moment.

Impurrfect

(((Fitz))) - you're absolutely right. Awesome attitude Give the pup some extra snuggles for me.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy