Inca

Hi-

It's been awhile since I've posted because I have gone back out again and this time I feel like I'm in deep. I can't pull myself out! It's like I'm stuck and want to crawl out but my mind won't let me. I haven't been going to AA meetings lately because I'm so overwhelmed with everything that I haven't made it a priority. Have a sponsor but feel like she's wondering what is up as well. I just don't know where to go with this one. Know I'm all over the place, but can't seem to get myself to stop spinning my wheels. I'm at a loss! Advice or words of wisdom?

suki44883

You asked for advice, so here is mine...Call your sponsor and get to a meeting and keep going. If you haven't already, start working the steps. You had a moment of clarity by posting here, so grab that momentum and get back to where you need to be. You CAN quit drinking, but you have to be willing to do the work.

Inca

Thanks, I'm working the steps but want to do them my way and right now my way is faster than how they are going. I would like it to sink in, I really would about how I can no longer do this my way because my way wasn't working. I was making progress..then I went back to zero and not able to pull myself out of it. I go to meetings and zone out. Don't get the higher power thing. Basically feel like a Zombie trying to get through each day. Don't mean for this to be a self pity party although I know it sounds like it. Sigh

Dee74

Hi Inca - I'm sorry you're struggling.

I think whatever you do, so something - reach out , find support.
If you have reservations about AA and your sponsor is not responsive, find another one, or find another method if you feel the difficulties are intractable.

But do something.

Drinking never ever gets better.
D

jocata

Don't really know what to tell you Inca, but welcome back and jump back on the horse with renewed resolve!! Put this behind you and start over.

God bless.

Inca

Thank you all! I hope whatever it is that needs to sink in actually sinks in because this is no fun

Sapling

Here is the problem....I guess it just has to sink in. The reason you have a sponsor is to do them the right way. Not your way. Does that make sense? Call your sponsor...And tell her you want to do them the right way. It might work.

Inca

So this might sound really strange, but how do you make it sink in? For me to just call and say I want to do it the right way just makes me feel like I'm accommodating and makes me REALLY stressed. I really need a lot of work. Is it habit that starts making this work?

IndaMiricale

Put down the drink and pick up the phone and call your sponsor and go to a meeting.

Sapling

Yeah...Inda....I think that covers it.

hector

"How do you make it sink in?"

Good question. My answer is to go to meetings, listen carefully, take step one thoroughly, go to more meetings, admit powerlessness and unmanageability at the deepest level, go to more meetings (nothing is more important I don't care how overwhelmed you are), take it one day at a time, listen as though your life depended on it (it does) and talk to more people than just your sponsor. You can have lots of sponsors. And read lots of threads here.

If you're going through hell, keep on going.

Sapling

For me...For the first time in my life...I had to shut up and listen to someone else...Because when I did things my way...It ended up in disaster.

langkah

Great you want to do things your way. Doing what we want to do is so much easier, and we can pick and choose what we think we might need and evaluate the importance of various aspects of what others use and decide if we need to involve those ideas and activities in our lives, leaving us with only what we'd like to do and we're then able to ignore parts that others say are important and beneficial but we ourselves don't particularly care for all that much.

Doing that didn't work out at all well for me or others I know, but that's not to say it won't work well for you the next time around, if you want to do things your way yet again.

Inca

Yes, I'm a stubborn bird who is making things more complicated then they need to be. It's very simple, I get that I'll try to get out of the rut!!

Hevyn

Inca - I'm so glad you came back to talk about your struggle. Good advice here already - just want to send you some encouragement and hope. You can end the misery and have a whole new life.

sugarbear1

Are you still drinking? The steps work after we stop drinking and can experience them through the guidance of a sponsor. Be honest with your sponsor and start there. Try not to analyze the steps, they are an experience.

You can stay stopped, too!