kam00096

This is my 5th day of not drinking and I have no desire to have a drink but when I got up this morning my mum says my eyes look weird and basically she won't believe I haven't been drinking. I understand that they don't trust me but I'm wasting my breath if they won't believe me.

DoniLee

Im totally new to this and really only one day down but hey you have to start somewhere. Honestly my opinion on this is you are not drinking for others, youre quitting for yourself. Me personally I have hurt a lot of my friends due to my drinking, I am embarassed of the things I do and the person I become when I drink. Im not quitting for others, Im quitting for the simple fact of I dont like the drunk me. You just do you, GOOD LUCK!!!! Hope that this helped in some kinda way...

Sapling

Just keep not drinking...Don't worry about what others think...If you are being honest with yourself and not drinking...Trust will come in time....You have to earn it. Look how long you worked on losing that trust.

Dee74

I agree with others Kam - you're doing it for you, not for other people, or to change their minds about you.

I damaged a lot of relationships when I was drinking.

It wasn't up to me when those people forgave me or if they didn't; or whether they decided to trust me again again or not.

All I could do was keep doing what I knew was right for me.

Actions speak louder than words anyway so hopefully the changes in you will be so evident you'll earn back that trust - but it takes time.

D

kam00096

Thanks for the replies. I know I need to give it time and just keep on proving I'm not drinking again. And also maybe try to get some more sleep - sure that's why my eyes look weird this morning!

kam00096

Also DoniLee - congrats on day one!

Purplecatlover

Great advice. Do it for you. Don't give up. Others will eventually see the change. Read & post here. We got your back & know you're sincere.

Welcome Donilee! Kudos on day one. You can do this. Stay on SR. They got me through to day 36. Woohoo.
We all have to do it for ourselves. Best wishes

Stang

Believe me or not I don't drink anyway.

Orbea

Unfortunately living w parents is HARD! Might be a solution which seems pointless to most people, but do those over the counter drug tests screen for alcohol? Maybe just one test will be all it takes to show them?

kam00096

That's a good idea about the OTC alcohol test. I've been having a look and Halfords sell a breathalyser so I'm going to suggest we get one. If it helps reassure them at the minute then I'm up for that!

sugarbear1

As long as you aren't drinking or drugging, only time will tell your ma that you are being honest with her. We've destroyed trust, it takes much longer to rebuild it.

Stay strong and stay stopped!! Congrats on 5 days!

mattparadise

Just say believe whatever you want.

Joe Nerv

As already stated, trust will come in time. It's tough for people to trust when they've been let down time after time, which is usually the case. I used to use this kind of stuff to strenghten my resolve, as in I'll show you. Be careful not to let it do the opposite, and don't start looking at it as a reason TO drink. It's about you, your life, your happiness, your future... not what anyone else thinks.

And for what it's worth, people always think I'm high. God, for reasons unknown, built me to look that way. I got pulled over last week in the middle of the night, and the cop flat out told me she didn't believe I wasn't under the influence of something. She gave me a barrage of questions, an eye exam that lasted about 5 minutes, and then finally after making me sit for a while with my engine off while I guess researching me on their computer, let me go because there wasn't much else she could do.

Sometimes you have to just laugh these things off. Your mom will trust and believe you in time.

Sapling

There was a time that I thought God made me to look like I was always drunk....Then I came to realise....I was always drunk.

kam00096

Funnily enough now I'm sober i am more aware of sounding/ acting normal even though there's no need to. When I was drinking i didn't care!

sugarbear1

You're already growing!

Anna

It's not your job to convince others that you're not drinking. They will believe you or not, and it should make no difference to your recovery. I think it's important to form a boundary around yourself so that other's comments cannot affect you in a negative way.