This Disease is Truly Relentless
 

So I am in my eight month of sobriety, and I have a friend who is a couple weeks ahead of me, and we have been following each other through our outpatient program and through AA. His sobriety started with liver failure due to alcoholism and put him into a coma for three weeks. I found out today that he has been given a 75% chance of living through the next three months. Of course I am hurting, he is a kind and gentle man with a family. He works a solid program in AA and in our outpatient, has worked the steps and everything. The thing that really struck me though is that he still ocassionally craves the drink, even though it is in a very active process of killing him. His mind, and mine too, have been permanently changed to crave it. I still have cravings even though I work a hard program and still remember my week in the ICU that almost killed me. I still have cravings even though I know one drink WILL lead me back to drinking heavy, which could kill me in a very short time. He still craves even though it is very likely he will die from this disease. Alcohol doesn't f*****g care, it just wants us to drink. We must put up every effort to avoid it at all cost, meetings, therapy, meditation, praying, whatever. We must put in the work if we want to live, and who knows, we may even become happy on the way. Sorry to dump this, but I am in a raw state, and I want to share with all the newer people that you can't let inhibitions or fears or pride get in the way of seeking any and all methods of help in your recovery. Alcohol doesn't care about your inhibitions, fears, or pride, it just wants you to stay active in your disease, and away from recovery at all cost. Please seek whatever help you can.

I'm really sorry for your friend CD - and for you :hug:
Thanks for sharing that post tho - you're absolutely right.

D

I hear of people dying in the program a lot, but this is the first guy I know personally, and know well. We have been in therapy together almost daily for the last seven months.

Sorry to hear that camedown...You are correct....It's brutal. I have two guys in my HG that started the same time I did..Became pretty close to them..They just didn't want to put in the effort...Both went back out and I don't know if they'll make it back or not. They are not doing well. You have to remain vigilant...A guy with 28 years told me that...I listened. Work your 10-12 everyday and practice...practice...practice. Sorry again about your friend.....It's sad to see what this disease can do. And yet the tools are right there before you.....Keep trudging!

Sorry camedown. Alcohols a beast. A relentless, selfish, horrible monster that never gives up. Just be grateful you have the enlightenment to see it for what it is.
And you can never give up. It can be draining to be in a constant battle. But fighting for our lives is what we have to do daily.
Thanks for sharing. We all need to be reminded how damaging this disease is. You may have saved some from getting to the place your friends at.
Prayers for you & him.

Allen Carr describes alcohol's slippery slope where we progress down a path unaware of the dangers. In this process, some of us get a premature visit from the grim reaper. Others see the precipice, put on the brakes, and stop drinking. But the relentless beast continues to lurk with temptations. I figure that one way or the other I will not drink and having said that over time the beast's temptations have diminished over the past 7 months. Saying a daily prayer to the higher power has helped; and I also remind myself of the positives of not drinking - better relationships, freedom, self respect, more time, more available money, etc. SR post's have helped a lot. I read SR every day for support. In my opinion, quitting booze is a struggle but it is well worth the effort.

I feel your pain, camedown. Hugs to you.

Love and prayers,