Boy, do I ever need to do a gratitude list. The past few days have floored me. It's not really a case of me wanting to use...it's just a case of me feeling hopeless because it seems I don't know how to deal with life sober either. I got off the strong stuff. NOW WHAT?
I need to realize it's ok to be human, to make a fool of myself sometimes. I left work early sick yesterday, but most of the sick was in my head and heart.
For so many decades I had a false idea of what "normal" people (oh how I hate that term) felt, that when I feel that way, I assume that I am drastically inferior, but I know that feeling that way, is just the human condition at times. I'm allowed sick days, I'm allowed days to sit cross eyed and wonder where the heck my life is going. I'm allowed to be human, it is NOT a sign of failure. It is a GOOD sign, a sign that I too, am..gasp...normal.