I'm not going to count anymore
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
I'm not going to count anymore
So, I have relapse many times last year and once this year. Always, I try to learn something and start counting the days of sobriety. But now, I'm just really tired of the relapses and counting the days. For me, it more of a hassle and it's me to think about drinking more. I did started to take anti-depression pills a few days ago which I only take 1/4 of the pill. Not a big fan of taking pills.
I decided to focus on what makes me happy and less about not drinking. I do go to a once a week dinner of SOS group which I enjoy. Half of the time we talk about alcohol related subjects and the other half we talk about general stuff.
I decided to focus on what makes me happy and less about not drinking. I do go to a once a week dinner of SOS group which I enjoy. Half of the time we talk about alcohol related subjects and the other half we talk about general stuff.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
While I tend to agree that counting days is a double-edged sword, ACT10Npack, and that you may indeed be much better off dropping that practice like a bad habit, make sure you don't twist things around to mean that you can therefore drink again whenever you want without the usual consequences.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
I don't do it as obsessively as I once did, but I do have it marked in my calendar. After 90 days I just count by month. It is nice to plug in the date on the sober calculator here and see the days though.
You should do whatever works best for you.
You should do whatever works best for you.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,911
I used to count days. I once got over 2000 days and then I relapsed. Although I have a lot of days in now I don't count them because I'm still pretty far away from what I once had. If I think about that, it's kinda depressing so I don't do it.
Today I'm sober, tomorrow I'll try to do it again, that's all that matters to me now.
Today I'm sober, tomorrow I'll try to do it again, that's all that matters to me now.
dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
I stopped counting at around 90 and that was a good feeling. numbering days isn't necessary, but continuous abstinence absolutely is. continuous abstinence is the foundation for our new lives. yes we only "have today", but without continuous "today's" little else will be possible.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I don't count days either. Nor do I focus on not drinking/using. I focus on life, and recovery. Recovery, for me, is vastly different from not drinking/using.
Drinking/using are not options anymore. I've taken them off the table. I don't obsess over the many things that are not options, so I don't need to obsess over them either. yes, of course the idea of them still comes up, but then I remind myself that's no longer an option, and move on with what I AM going to do, instead of putting lots of energy into what I am NOT going to do.
I even started dropping the word relapse, because I am tired of the idea that I am ever walking a tightrope over the chasm of active addiction, constantly balancing lest I fall in yet again. There is a whole wide world out there with vast fields for me to run in. I got tired of defining myself by the few things I can't do. It's like a horse pacing the fence line endlessly when it has 300 acres of pasture it could be frisking around in.
I need to work on my recovery daily. Just like tending fences is part of ranching, and taking my meds and vitamins keep me healthy, and following the rules of the road get me to work on time. None of those things need to be obsessed over, but they are very important daily practices.
In order for them to become "natural" I do have to put in significant effort up front. I have to learn them, practice them, and go at it with enthusiastic gusto. And that is much more effectively done if I focus on the new thing I am learning, rather than on the old thing I am done with.
When I was in high school I took up horseback riding, and while I was in riding school, I didn't much think about how I wasn't roller skating. I thought about riding. I didn't define myself as an ex roller skater either.
I found my tendency toward relapse to significantly drop off when I took this approach as opposed to constantly reminding myself how I couldn't drink/use anymore. I've always responded much better to putting positive energy into something than negative energy towards something.
This approach isn't for everyone. I know addicts who assure me that if they didn't wake up and remind themselves they are addicts and can't use, they would be right back at square one, and I accept that is true for them. But when I did that, I was a walking paranoid basket case, terrified of myself and that the bugaboo of alcohol/drugs etc might sneak up and snatch me like the boogie man.
Yes, I am a recovering addict, and there are times that come up when I want to just go back to that, but then I remember it closes every other door in my life, and turn my attention to recovery instead.
It's not always easy, because life isn't always easy. Because learning new skills isn't always a fun process, and there can are new aches and pains associated with it. But I see progress, and I am encouraged, and when I feel lousy I take care of myself in ways that will not set me back.
And if I fall off the horse, I don't say "I'm just going back to roller skating" I get back on and ride again.
Drinking/using are not options anymore. I've taken them off the table. I don't obsess over the many things that are not options, so I don't need to obsess over them either. yes, of course the idea of them still comes up, but then I remind myself that's no longer an option, and move on with what I AM going to do, instead of putting lots of energy into what I am NOT going to do.
I even started dropping the word relapse, because I am tired of the idea that I am ever walking a tightrope over the chasm of active addiction, constantly balancing lest I fall in yet again. There is a whole wide world out there with vast fields for me to run in. I got tired of defining myself by the few things I can't do. It's like a horse pacing the fence line endlessly when it has 300 acres of pasture it could be frisking around in.
I need to work on my recovery daily. Just like tending fences is part of ranching, and taking my meds and vitamins keep me healthy, and following the rules of the road get me to work on time. None of those things need to be obsessed over, but they are very important daily practices.
In order for them to become "natural" I do have to put in significant effort up front. I have to learn them, practice them, and go at it with enthusiastic gusto. And that is much more effectively done if I focus on the new thing I am learning, rather than on the old thing I am done with.
When I was in high school I took up horseback riding, and while I was in riding school, I didn't much think about how I wasn't roller skating. I thought about riding. I didn't define myself as an ex roller skater either.
I found my tendency toward relapse to significantly drop off when I took this approach as opposed to constantly reminding myself how I couldn't drink/use anymore. I've always responded much better to putting positive energy into something than negative energy towards something.
This approach isn't for everyone. I know addicts who assure me that if they didn't wake up and remind themselves they are addicts and can't use, they would be right back at square one, and I accept that is true for them. But when I did that, I was a walking paranoid basket case, terrified of myself and that the bugaboo of alcohol/drugs etc might sneak up and snatch me like the boogie man.
Yes, I am a recovering addict, and there are times that come up when I want to just go back to that, but then I remember it closes every other door in my life, and turn my attention to recovery instead.
It's not always easy, because life isn't always easy. Because learning new skills isn't always a fun process, and there can are new aches and pains associated with it. But I see progress, and I am encouraged, and when I feel lousy I take care of myself in ways that will not set me back.
And if I fall off the horse, I don't say "I'm just going back to roller skating" I get back on and ride again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by Threshold 
I don't count days either. Nor do I focus on not drinking/using. I focus on life, and recovery. Recovery, for me, is vastly different from not drinking/using.
Drinking/using are not options anymore. I've taken them off the table. I don't obsess over the many things that are not options, so I don't need to obsess over them either. yes, of course the idea of them still comes up, but then I remind myself that's no longer an option, and move on with what I AM going to do, instead of putting lots of energy into what I am NOT going to do.
I even started dropping the word relapse, because I am tired of the idea that I am ever walking a tightrope over the chasm of active addiction, constantly balancing lest I fall in yet again. There is a whole wide world out there with vast fields for me to run in. I got tired of defining myself by the few things I can't do. It's like a horse pacing the fence line endlessly when it has 300 acres of pasture it could be frisking around in.
I need to work on my recovery daily. Just like tending fences is part of ranching, and taking my meds and vitamins keep me healthy, and following the rules of the road get me to work on time. None of those things need to be obsessed over, but they are very important daily practices.
In order for them to become "natural" I do have to put in significant effort up front. I have to learn them, practice them, and go at it with enthusiastic gusto. And that is much more effectively done if I focus on the new thing I am learning, rather than on the old thing I am done with.
When I was in high school I took up horseback riding, and while I was in riding school, I didn't much think about how I wasn't roller skating. I thought about riding. I didn't define myself as an ex roller skater either.
I found my tendency toward relapse to significantly drop off when I took this approach as opposed to constantly reminding myself how I couldn't drink/use anymore. I've always responded much better to putting positive energy into something than negative energy towards something.
This approach isn't for everyone. I know addicts who assure me that if they didn't wake up and remind themselves they are addicts and can't use, they would be right back at square one, and I accept that is true for them. But when I did that, I was a walking paranoid basket case, terrified of myself and that the bugaboo of alcohol/drugs etc might sneak up and snatch me like the boogie man.
Yes, I am a recovering addict, and there are times that come up when I want to just go back to that, but then I remember it closes every other door in my life, and turn my attention to recovery instead.
It's not always easy, because life isn't always easy. Because learning new skills isn't always a fun process, and there can are new aches and pains associated with it. But I see progress, and I am encouraged, and when I feel lousy I take care of myself in ways that will not set me back.
And if I fall off the horse, I don't say "I'm just going back to roller skating" I get back on and ride again.
Drinking/using are not options anymore. I've taken them off the table. I don't obsess over the many things that are not options, so I don't need to obsess over them either. yes, of course the idea of them still comes up, but then I remind myself that's no longer an option, and move on with what I AM going to do, instead of putting lots of energy into what I am NOT going to do.
I even started dropping the word relapse, because I am tired of the idea that I am ever walking a tightrope over the chasm of active addiction, constantly balancing lest I fall in yet again. There is a whole wide world out there with vast fields for me to run in. I got tired of defining myself by the few things I can't do. It's like a horse pacing the fence line endlessly when it has 300 acres of pasture it could be frisking around in.
I need to work on my recovery daily. Just like tending fences is part of ranching, and taking my meds and vitamins keep me healthy, and following the rules of the road get me to work on time. None of those things need to be obsessed over, but they are very important daily practices.
In order for them to become "natural" I do have to put in significant effort up front. I have to learn them, practice them, and go at it with enthusiastic gusto. And that is much more effectively done if I focus on the new thing I am learning, rather than on the old thing I am done with.
When I was in high school I took up horseback riding, and while I was in riding school, I didn't much think about how I wasn't roller skating. I thought about riding. I didn't define myself as an ex roller skater either.
I found my tendency toward relapse to significantly drop off when I took this approach as opposed to constantly reminding myself how I couldn't drink/use anymore. I've always responded much better to putting positive energy into something than negative energy towards something.
This approach isn't for everyone. I know addicts who assure me that if they didn't wake up and remind themselves they are addicts and can't use, they would be right back at square one, and I accept that is true for them. But when I did that, I was a walking paranoid basket case, terrified of myself and that the bugaboo of alcohol/drugs etc might sneak up and snatch me like the boogie man.
Yes, I am a recovering addict, and there are times that come up when I want to just go back to that, but then I remember it closes every other door in my life, and turn my attention to recovery instead.
It's not always easy, because life isn't always easy. Because learning new skills isn't always a fun process, and there can are new aches and pains associated with it. But I see progress, and I am encouraged, and when I feel lousy I take care of myself in ways that will not set me back.
And if I fall off the horse, I don't say "I'm just going back to roller skating" I get back on and ride again.
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