Sober Time & Weed
 

I recently had posted a question about my sober time because I had smoked weed several times (4x) but wanted to pick up my 90 day chip for not drinking at an AA meeting. I have also been off all other substances for the first time in my life for the same amount of time. Although I realized weed was a drug and knew I was not "clean & sober" I still was justifying in my mind to pick up the chip.

Now this only pertains to me. It's my journey and I decided a few days ago after a meeting about honesty that I have not earned that chip yet. I will pick it up when I have absolutely no reservations or doubt in my mind that I deserve that chip. Just wanted to report back as on my last thread I had decided to get it and now I won't. I look forward to my 30 day chip as my clean and sober date is 2/5/2012.

Good for you BL. You won't have to kid yourself about how sober you were while you were loaded.

bostonluv,

Well, if that is honestly how you feel about it, then you shouldn't have picked up the chip. I admire your honesty, and have a lot of respect for how you handled this.

Your sober time is whatever you choose it to be, whatever feels right for you. :)

It always amazes me how you you hear exactly what you need to hear in meetings....Honesty was the topic....Go figure. I have a guy in my HG that was coming up on ten months...He got up and took a 24 hour chip....When the meeting started he shared he had smoked a joint....He got a big round of applause....And I think a little peace of mind.

I didn't pick the up the chip Sissy. That was my share above. ;)

You're doing fine bostonluv...Keep working your program...I think you just strengthened it..That's all.

Bostonluv,

I am so sorry! I must have worded my post wrong. I know you didn't pick up the chip, and I respect you for that. Sorry for the miscommunication!!

BL,

Good for you - I think the most important steps in our sobriety are those the rest of the world may never see or hear about. For me, the concept of rigorous honesty was pretty alien at first. It's the more subtle habits and viewpoint that erode our sobriety and serenity that ultimately lead to the big stuff. My old attitude would have me full of righteous indignation if I got a speeding ticket for doing 7 mph over the limit, rather than acknowledging that I should have gotten a ticket for the 10 over that I was actually doing. It is that perspective of minimizing the truth of our actions that leads to what the big book calls slips - a term I absolutely hate. Slipping is what happens when you step on ice you didn't see, it most certainly is not what happens when you go to a store, buy a bottle, and dump the contents down your throat.

So when you do pick up that chip give yourself a pat on the back.

Good luck - it keeps getting better!

Wow! NO resentment with self. Awesome honesty!!!

Hmm...makes me wonder if I deserved some (or all) the chips I've picked up in the past.

No problem Sissy - we are in cyber space where misunderstandings happen daily.

Thanks Guys!!

I'm happy to hear that you came to a decision you can feel good about. :)

Good Job...I actually have been helped the same way. I started smoking herb when I was 25 and really should have stuck to that alone instead of drinking. I've continued to smoke but have stopped drinking 3 weeks tomorrow. It really does aid in the recovery from drinking and honestly after 3 weeks I'm pretty pleased with myself and feel a lot better only smoking herb. You should have picked up our chip. You are following your path to being healthy and I will 100% of the time trust in something God gave me other than something man made. Live life to the fullest now that you are sober. I'm really giving this all my might as well and will strive to live every day happily. Tell yourself daily "I AM STRONGER THAN THAT!!" It has helped me in my daily struggles.

bostonluv,

I often hear at meetings that "The alcoholic that woke up earliest today has the longest sobriety". Most of us realize that our arms are every bit as long as they were when we were active. We are all just an arms length from a drink. The chips are said to be a simple recognition of milestones in early sobriety. Not sure how the two things reconcile. I do know that some groups only give the 24 hour chip and no others. In any event your honesty is praiseworthy. Congratulations!