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Putting my life back together

Old 02-14-2012, 08:26 PM
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Putting my life back together

So I have been maintaining my sobriety for a little while now. It's been a little over a month since I slipped up and a had a drink. Prior to that, I had four months. I have turned down drinks many times since my last slip up. I went to court for my 2nd DUI back in January and ended up getting unsupervised probation. I should be getting my license back on Thursday. I have been working on getting a job. I got a job last week, but quickly quit. I was hired for what was advertised to be an "Assistant Manager" position paying 35-60K a year. In reality, it turned out to be a commission-only door-to-door vacuum sales position where transportation was not provided. My training manager had me go out into a random upper middle class suburban neighborhood and knock on some 50+ doors trying to weasel my way into their homes to sell them overpriced vacuum cleaners. As you could guess, I got about 50+ doors slammed in my face. The company tried to get me to sell these overpriced wares to my own broke mother. This is not the 50's anymore and people are not going to let a strange young man with a clipboard and a big bag into their private residence even during the daytime. Apparently, people are much more scared of their fellow countrymen in today's society and they might have every right to be seeing as income inequality is at an all time high. Going to door to door trying to sell vacuum cleaners to defensive on-edge residents made me think of the animated skit from that Michael Moore documentary movie Bowling for Columbine where uptight suburbanites were scared tucked away in their homes with high tech security systems and guns.

Anyway, I quit the job because door-to-door sales is a dead industry and I cannot afford a commission only job that requires me to drive all over the state. I am currently still looking for a job and it is a taxing uphill battle. I am a college grad and jobs in my field want usually no less than 3-5 years experience. Graphic design was my major which coincidentally is one of the worst paying college majors. I had a few internships and I have a few web design clients. It sucks that I know next to nothing about web design although I spent almost seven years in undergrad studying graphic design. I bought the Baby Boomer propaganda that I "had to go to college" to make something of myself. My alcoholism really took flight in college. Drinking was one of the only things I learned how to do in college. I have no idea what my next job is going to be. I have been unemployed almost two years and I am turning 29 next month. Money is running low and no one in my family has a job. I need to step up and get a job and start providing my mother and my self with some income. Has anyone here been in this situation or one similar?
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Old 02-14-2012, 08:30 PM
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You talking about being an alcoholic or being unemployed?....I've been both...
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Old 02-14-2012, 08:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Sapling View Post
You talking about being an alcoholic or being unemployed?....I've been both...
Definitely an alcoholic and unemployed. Those two things go hand-in-hand. A big sober house near where I live is filled with literally dozens of people who are both trying to recover and find jobs. It is crazy how we drink ourselves to the point we are unemployed and unemployable. All of last year and half of the year before, I was flat-broke and unemployed. Although I was penniless and unemployed, I still found a way to get drunk almost everyday. I would do crazy things like pawn in old car batteries for a few dollars at the recycling plant. It is a tough time to be an addict because pawn shops are only taking gold nowadays. Sadly, you can get scarily drunk off $8. They have this stuff called Four Loko. I was also running up credit cards and stealing from my mother and my sister. In addition, I was scraping up change to buy cheap liquor. Not to mention, hanging out with other unemployed drunks who were scary and dangerous. But these shady people would let me drink for free, so they were worth hanging around to an actively drinking alcoholic. Some of these people beat the sh*t out of me. A year ago to the day, I ended up in the hospital after a "drinking buddy" I barely knew sucker punched me and I woke up in the hospital getting stitches in my face. I don't even remember being punched in the face or how I even got to the hospital. What a way to spend Valentine's day.

But now, I'm just working on being an adult and having a job and responsibilities. It doesn't help that regular people without substance abuse issues are having a hard time finding jobs.
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Old 02-14-2012, 08:46 PM
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Hi Stryfe,
I do admire your spirit. I love the imagery in your writing.

All I can really comment on is your sobriety, You will find your way. Do you have a program of sorts?

I have the support of AA and this forum keeping me sober and very happy.

All the best
CaiHong
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Old 02-14-2012, 08:50 PM
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Originally Posted by CaiHong View Post
Hi Stryfe,
I do admire your spirit. I love the imagery in your writing.

All I can really comment on is your sobriety, You will find your way. Do you have a program of sorts?

I have the support of AA and this forum keeping me sober and very happy.

All the best
CaiHong
Yes. I go to AA meetings almost everyday. I have a sponsor who is taking me through the steps who I call on a regular basis as well.
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Old 02-15-2012, 01:11 AM
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Hi Stryfe,
My alcoholism took hold when I was about 5 years into my post-college career. I resigned because I was in no condition to show up to work most days and I thought I was going to fired. What followed was few years of unemployment, all-day drinking, police run-ins, and bankruptcy. I have a decent job now that Im sober, but not in my field which is finance. Jobs in finance require a clean credit and criminal check, which I fail miserably. Ive had 3 finance job offers withdrawn cuz of my past. I am slowly building my credit back and I am eligible to have my DUI pardoned. Baby steps...but eventually things will sort themselves out...IF I stay sober of course. Anyway, my job is sales currently...with salary and bonus...but its not my forte really...I actually tried selling vaccums door to door once too when I was a student so i know how that can destroy your self esteem hahaha
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Old 02-15-2012, 02:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Stryfe View Post
Yes. I go to AA meetings almost everyday. I have a sponsor who is taking me through the steps who I call on a regular basis as well.
For now...Looks like you have have a full time job. Treat it like that. Good things will start to happen. Keep looking and you may not get the best job in the world.....You'll find something....Even for awhile. Don't set your expectations so high....I heard in a meeting once...expectations are just resentments under construction...I liked that. I try and practice at keeping mine low. You must be well aware of what resentments can do for you.
I couldn't have done the vacuum door to door job either...I don't keep them that low...And I didn't even know that people still do that. Work the steps...Have faith in your HP...Ask for help...Don't pick up...Go to meetings and life will get better. I promise. I'm living proof.
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