brokebloke

First post, so greetings to all. Just discovered this site and have been snooping around a lil and so far it seems great. Great to hear other's stories, encouragements, even failures (I am normal).

I thought I'd post to just get some thoughts/feelings out of me and also to get out of my comfort zone, for I realize it will take alot of that to get past this. I've been a pothead (daily smoker, usually 1-2 grams/day) for over a decade now and have hit rock bottom, as they say. I know I've needed to and have (sorta) wanted to quit for a few years now, but its hit the tipping point, the last straws being my wife saying she will have leave me if things don't change, not out of anger etc, but from being hurt so much from this. I get very withdrawn when I smoke (I am a fairly quiet, introspective person to begin with. Add weed and I just want to contemplate the meaning of life or watch a movie etc and in general just kinda not talk/become unconcerned for others or unattentive to their needs. Repeat this every day and you can imagine the eventuall tole.) God bless my wife, she really is the kindest, most caring person I know, and is sooo selfless. But everyone can only take being a doormat for so long before they are broken. This has happened to her, and I know its mostly because of the weed habit. I feel like **** knowing how much I have hurt her, esp. over the last year and a half, as over that time I have picked up my habit another level. Along with that, I've always wanted to get into law school. I managed to get good enough grades during my undergrad--despite smoking up--to allow this possibility, but when it came time to study for the LSAT (for those unfamiliar, its a standardized test all law applicants must take and usually is 50% responsible for wether you'll be admitted, the other 50% being your GPA. I digress...) Anyways, I simply could not hack it. I even took six weeks off from work to solely study for the test but instead of studying, I would toke. Sure I studied some, but by midday I was itching for it and could not prevent myself. Along with that the tole of weed made me to slow in the thinking department. This continued and by the end of the "study period" I was hardly prepared for the test and even more a pothead than at the beginning of studying. Needless to say, I bombed the test, which means no law school, and generally throws an entire wrench into my wife and I's plans.

So those two things together really have shooken me, and I know what is the next step. I decided once and for all to quit, the quit day being last week's NA meeting I attended. I went, didn't speak, and had mixed feelings, but in general I felt encouraged and determined that this was the beginning of the end for weed. I threw out my weed stuff that night and resolved to not smoke anymore. I woke up the next day and by mid afternoon had bought another gram. I never realized how strong this beast is. That repeated itself over the next few days (going to bed resolved not to smoke, smoking by the afternoon the next day). Knowing this the only thing I could do was remove the possibility of attaining weed, and to that end I handed over my credit/bank cards to my wife and told her to not give them back, even if I ask for them, for two weeks. This has been ESSENTIAL. Its ****** up, the pyschology of addiction, for one hour after I handed over the cards I was thinking of ways (I can be pretty sneaky) of getting those cards back or getting money from other sources. Its like schizophrenia. I have one personality that sincerely wants to quit, but he keeps arguing with the other person, the one who thinks of any excuse/means to roll up a delicious joint. Anyways, there's my story, take it or leave it. I'm just expressing myself but it would be great to compare experiences.

To that end I have two questions, and one very great suggestion which I haven't yet read other members mention:

Q1) Today I woke up and felt very depressed. Now, I feel depressed from time to time, nothing severe (I don't think), but today it was bad. I noticed I felt down yesterday as well, and I'm guessing tomorrow will be the same. Backstory: when I think about when I first starting smoking it was in a time of severe depression (albeit teenage depression). My question is, to the extent you may know/guess/in your experience, do you think the depression I'm feeling is a symptom of withdrawal (havent smoked in 4 days now, woo hoo) and will fade the longer I'm clean, or does smoking weed cover up underlying issues of depression? Have I been masking depression with weed this past decade? I'm not sure to think whether this depression is "real" or just a symptom of withdrawal. Of course this is probably a question for a pyschologist but any feedback from experience would be appreciated.

Q2) TCH stores itself in fatty tissue, or so I've read, and thus why it takes a good month usually to get it thoroughly out of the system. To this end, have any you taken detox/cleansing stuff? Should I be going to my local nutritional store and get a bottle of pills that will flush out my system? Will this help speed up the process or being "over it"? Or is that over-kill?

Now for my exciting suggested tip (maybe this is already common knowledge, and if so oh well). I've noticed alot of ex-pothead complain of sleeping problems, esp. insomnia. I've had the same experience, even while I was using. I could notice the difference between going to bed having not smoked that particular day vs. a 'high' day, and last night I hardly slept at all. My suggestion is... steam rooms! I discovered steam rooms a month or so ago (personally discovered it, that is. I can't take credit for actually discovering them, I believe that may go to the Turks or Swedes, not sure). Anyways, steam rooms are helping me very very very very much. Benefits: they are exhausting, so after about 2 20-minute sessions (with a break in between of course) I go home and feel like I've run a marathon. I get very drowsy and am super super relaxed so I just fall asleep, even earlier than my normal bedtime. I noticed it almost works as a weed substitute in that I get that very relaxed feeling which weed had been giving me. Yesterday was the first day in over two weeks that I hadn't gone and I noticed a huge difference. So to you insomniacs, go the steamroom at night and I bet youll be able to sleep like a baby when you get home. The other benefits are also great. Its great for your skin in that it opens your pores and the capillaries close to the skin(which normally dont get much blood) and so causes much sweating, which in turn removes toxins from the body, which in turn speeds up the "getting THC out of the system" process. Thirdly, lungs. Man do my lungs feel better after these past two weeks of the steam room. Even while I was smoking and steaming I noticed a difference, but especially since I quit I notice how much deeper I am able to breath etc after a steam session. On top of all that, it just feels great/is enjoyable, and so is a good way to pass the time and keep you distracted from the temptation. So all you potheads trying to quit, do yourself a favour and go to a steamroom, every night/day if you can. (I would recommend at night if you're insomniacing)!

Best of luck to you all. Thanks for reading.

Dee74

Hi and welcome brokebloke

I think depression is common for all of us in withdrawal, regardless of the drug.

I smoked for 30 years myself and I definitely hit a low after I stopped.
I think it probably took me a week or two to shake it off.

Give it a while, but if you think it's going on for too long, or you're concerned in any way, maybe think about seeing someone

I think you should save your money on detoxes, personally.
Our minds and bodies heal themselves and it takes what it takes.

I've never tried a steam room but then I'm not particularly fit and my BP was high when I quit so a steam room probably wasn't the place for me to be anyway

Good to have you here.
I'm sure you'll find a lot of support
D

JohnnyDetox

Hey Brokebloke...I fully agree with Dee...it's way too early to determine if it's clinical depression or just withdrawl. Sounds like your on the right path though. As for rapid detxoxing?...lots of water, exercise and time. All the best.

sugarbear1

I smoked as for over 25 years. Give yourself about 6 months to feel better. If you can't do that and are still very depressed, see a doctor. My personal preference was to detox thoroughly before going to a doctor; if my depression continued, then I would seek medications. My depression has left me, so I don't need medication.

Remember, your body is used to being high. Now, it's normalizing and will take time. What goes up must come down and then will even out. be prepared for possible "brain fog" for a while. The neurons are learning how to be without the changes in dopamine, serotonin, or whatever else marijuana messes with in the brain. I have 9 months of sobriety and still feel like I have smoke too much weed, on occasion!

Regarding steam rooms....this has been one way that doctors have dealt with alcoholism or drug addiction for over 100 years. It was one of the methods used in the alcohol detox hospitals when AA began.

Your withdrawal will include an emotional roller coaster. I got high to forget a lot of daily things I couldn't deal with, so I stuffed all that inside of me, then it came out while getting sober time. AA, MA, or NA, the 12 step programs can help you, if you work the steps. Just my opinion.

For me, my drinking and smoking was my solution, and it included alcohol & marijuana. The effect of forgetting and numbing myself was my goal. Today, my solution is in the 12 steps.

Whatever you choose (method for staying sober), work it well. You can stay stopped, too!

I wish you well,