How to tell drinking friends that you've stopped?
In my case, my entire group of friends and probably co-workers know my situation. Unfortunately, I was unable to keep it "secret" and instead did a crash and burn. However, I don't talk about it to many people. It seems to make me and them uncomfortable.
I also lost two very, very close friends who are still drinkers. I am having a hard time getting over it, to be honest. I know that they weren't good friends and all that but....we used to hang out with them 4-5 days a week. Now, nada. The most I see of them is on their facebook accounts. I can't help but feel abandoned. And resentful. I know those feeling are poison and I'm trying to get over it.
I'm working on making new friends in AA but it's hard. I'm going to have to put myself out there more than I am used to. I'm going to have to get over my fear of rejection.
Notice two prominent words here: resentment and fear. Something to work on.
I also lost two very, very close friends who are still drinkers. I am having a hard time getting over it, to be honest. I know that they weren't good friends and all that but....we used to hang out with them 4-5 days a week. Now, nada. The most I see of them is on their facebook accounts. I can't help but feel abandoned. And resentful. I know those feeling are poison and I'm trying to get over it.
I'm working on making new friends in AA but it's hard. I'm going to have to put myself out there more than I am used to. I'm going to have to get over my fear of rejection.
Notice two prominent words here: resentment and fear. Something to work on.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 222
You seem motivated. Maybe in a few weeks/months it's gonna be easier. Maybe seeing one person at a time instead of a group of people (were they in a bar?) would be easier.
Last time I went to a party without drinking (I wanted to try, and also I had been drinking way too much the whole week before), I kept drinking sparkling water and saying I was taking a break. And still a few people, either joking, or seriously tempting me, offered me some beer or a glass of wine.
And I know if I tell them I quit, some will make fun of me behind my back, simply believing it's not possible.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Show up 15 minutes early and hang out 15 minutes after the meeting...You'll make friends. The longer you are around...The more you'll make. Getting a sponsor was also an important IN to meeting people. Most of the friends I have now are from AA....My old friends are all out getting drunk today.
Sorry to hear it's so hard with your friends, but just prove them wrong!
You seem motivated. Maybe in a few weeks/months it's gonna be easier. Maybe seeing one person at a time instead of a group of people (were they in a bar?) would be easier.
Last time I went to a party without drinking (I wanted to try, and also I had been drinking way too much the whole week before), I kept drinking sparkling water and saying I was taking a break. And still a few people, either joking, or seriously tempting me, offered me some beer or a glass of wine.
And I know if I tell them I quit, some will make fun of me behind my back, simply believing it's not possible.
You seem motivated. Maybe in a few weeks/months it's gonna be easier. Maybe seeing one person at a time instead of a group of people (were they in a bar?) would be easier.
Last time I went to a party without drinking (I wanted to try, and also I had been drinking way too much the whole week before), I kept drinking sparkling water and saying I was taking a break. And still a few people, either joking, or seriously tempting me, offered me some beer or a glass of wine.
And I know if I tell them I quit, some will make fun of me behind my back, simply believing it's not possible.
Thanks Sapling. I've been told to make a coffee commitment and as soon as the former person's tenure is up, I intend to do so. I've heard that's a good way to meet others and , as a bonus, that person is especially popular. Ha! Can't hurt.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
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