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How to tell drinking friends that you've stopped?

Old 07-01-2012, 12:10 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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In my case, my entire group of friends and probably co-workers know my situation. Unfortunately, I was unable to keep it "secret" and instead did a crash and burn. However, I don't talk about it to many people. It seems to make me and them uncomfortable.
I also lost two very, very close friends who are still drinkers. I am having a hard time getting over it, to be honest. I know that they weren't good friends and all that but....we used to hang out with them 4-5 days a week. Now, nada. The most I see of them is on their facebook accounts. I can't help but feel abandoned. And resentful. I know those feeling are poison and I'm trying to get over it.
I'm working on making new friends in AA but it's hard. I'm going to have to put myself out there more than I am used to. I'm going to have to get over my fear of rejection.
Notice two prominent words here: resentment and fear. Something to work on.
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Old 07-01-2012, 12:42 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Live2Run25 View Post
they were all basically making fun of me for quitting and making bets on how long I could go.
Sorry to hear it's so hard with your friends, but just prove them wrong!
You seem motivated. Maybe in a few weeks/months it's gonna be easier. Maybe seeing one person at a time instead of a group of people (were they in a bar?) would be easier.

Last time I went to a party without drinking (I wanted to try, and also I had been drinking way too much the whole week before), I kept drinking sparkling water and saying I was taking a break. And still a few people, either joking, or seriously tempting me, offered me some beer or a glass of wine.
And I know if I tell them I quit, some will make fun of me behind my back, simply believing it's not possible.
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Old 07-01-2012, 12:50 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jennikate View Post
I'm working on making new friends in AA but it's hard. I'm going to have to put myself out there more than I am used to. I'm going to have to get over my fear of rejection.
Show up 15 minutes early and hang out 15 minutes after the meeting...You'll make friends. The longer you are around...The more you'll make. Getting a sponsor was also an important IN to meeting people. Most of the friends I have now are from AA....My old friends are all out getting drunk today.
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Old 07-01-2012, 12:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Sentso View Post
Sorry to hear it's so hard with your friends, but just prove them wrong!
You seem motivated. Maybe in a few weeks/months it's gonna be easier. Maybe seeing one person at a time instead of a group of people (were they in a bar?) would be easier.

Last time I went to a party without drinking (I wanted to try, and also I had been drinking way too much the whole week before), I kept drinking sparkling water and saying I was taking a break. And still a few people, either joking, or seriously tempting me, offered me some beer or a glass of wine.
And I know if I tell them I quit, some will make fun of me behind my back, simply believing it's not possible.
Yes, we all hung out in a huge group. Now I just never come out anymore. So I guess they are feeling threatened ( a few of them are alcoholics too) so they focus on me instead of themselves.
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Old 07-02-2012, 05:05 AM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Thanks Sapling. I've been told to make a coffee commitment and as soon as the former person's tenure is up, I intend to do so. I've heard that's a good way to meet others and , as a bonus, that person is especially popular. Ha! Can't hurt.
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Old 07-02-2012, 05:07 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jennikate View Post
I've been told to make a coffee commitment and as soon as the former person's tenure is up, I intend to do so. I've heard that's a good way to meet others and , as a bonus, that person is especially popular. Ha! Can't hurt.
This is true.
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