yelrihs88

I've only just registered and having read some of the posts I know I have a problem with drinking and could use some support. My demon is red wine but after a couple anything goes. I've had a very boozy weekend and feel rough this morning but I've been promising myself I'll cut down/give up for a long while now. I'm fed up with waking up not remembering much about the evening before and feeling insecure and depressed. I live an interesting happy life and I'm furious with myself for being so weak. Any advice, tips, support greatly appreciated. Like a lot of people I would like to enjoy a few drinks a couple of times a week but I'm not sure it works like that.

Thanks for listening

Dee74

Hi and welcome yelrihs88

I spent nearly 20 years trying to make it work like that...but it didn't.

I don't think it's about being weak tho - no matter whether you want to call it a disease or an addiction or whatever - everytime I drank alcohol, everytime I introduced alcohol into my body, I lost control - I drank until I was wiped out and I ended up doing stuff I would never have dreamed of doing otherwise.

Alcohol in any amount was toxic to me - and the few times when nothing bad happened to me would feed my resolve to somehow make a basically toxic relationship work.

The only way I found to start to change things was not touch alcohol anymore. That worked

If that sounds like you too, you're in the right place yelrihs - you'll find a lot of support here

D

Sapling

Welcome....If it worked like that....You wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be here...None of us would be here. You really only have two choices...Keep doing what you are doing....Or stop drinking for good. I took plan "B". I had to admit to myself I had a problem I couldn't solve on my own and I looked for a way to solve it. I use the program of AA....You can use whatever program you want. I recommend you find one where you can get some support....Meet new people that have the same problem you have...And work as hard as you can to do what they did. To get the results that they got.
This is a life changing thing you are talking about here. Put the effort into it lke your life depends on it....In my case it did. You mentioned....

I'm furious with myself for being so weak.

Get this thought out of your head...I felt the same way...Then I realised I was just frightened...I was scared I had lost control...Fear was keeping me from getting better. It takes some courage...That's in you....Find it...And do whatever you have to do to change your life. The other option is to just keep drinking...And you already know what the results of that is. I wish you the best.

justjo

Support is what you need.... keep posting honey. JJ

Purplecatlover

Good advice, Sapling & Dee
Keep reading & posting. Good friends here.
I've learned alot by reading others struggles, mistakes, & how they got sober.
Alot of them like me, never thought I'd be possible, but it is.
You have to accept that you & alcohol don't mix. And close the door on it.
Welcome & best wishes.

Sapling

I think it comes down to....If you have that lurking thought...Way in the back of your mind....That you can drink again someday....You got to get rid of it.

2granddaughters

If you have a drinking problem, I advise AA meetings.

Wishing you the best.

Bob R

phoebe64

Well, I had that thought recently, after several months of sobriety. Had 2 glasses of wine one New year's, then some at a party in February, then on a vacation in April that turned into everday of that trip, and them now and then after that. Fast forward to vacation in Augist and I was pretty much having wine a few times a week, and daily around and since the holidays.

It just goes and goes, even if you think it I under control.

And I am still struggling with that thought of being a normal drinker, but I just don't think it works for me. Once I have a little, even if i go awhile, I think about the next time, etc... I would like to just not think about it at all.

Day 7 here.

Welcome.

chacha57

Welcome! I'm new to this site too. "Controlled drinking" never worked for me. Funny thing is..."normies" don't think about it. AA's working for me. I'm coming up on 2 years, after 30+ years of drinking. Keep in touch with people who are going through it and understand.

Sapling

Congrats on two years!

Fenris

I think it takes a lot of strength and courage to ask for help, but I understand why you feel that not being able to control your drinking is a weakness. I felt the same way. But this isn't a test of your moral fiber or willpower. If you're anything like me, control was never an option -- I couldn't drink "one or two" when I wanted to with any consistency, and I couldn't quit drinking totally without help from people who'd been where I was. I was afraid, terrified, to ask for help and admit my problem, and I only did so out of desperation. Even then, I held on to the illusion that I might be able to learn how to drink like other people did, and I tried it several times.

There's no weakness in asking for help with something like this, and for people like me, abstinence is really the only solution.

--Fenris.