3rd day sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 15
3rd day sober
Still feeling like crap. I was married to a heavy drinker and joined him for ten years. Three years ago we sold our company, separated and I spiraled out of control. I think maybe on purpose. I think I wanted to hurt myself.
The last year or so I have wanted to stop. I changed from vodka, to wine, to beer, trying to cut down and get it under control. I have been hiding my drinking by sitting home alone at night and sneaking and hiding empty bottles in the garage and getting up early on recycle day to dispose of them. I didn't want anyone at the liquor store to know how much I was drinking so I shopped three different stores, lol.
Last week I found out I had been betrayed and lied too. I lost it and went on a three day bender. I drank myself silly and really screwed up at work. I told my new boss I would rather put a bullet in my head that to have to report to him again, lol funny but not funny, I copied the whole team!
Suffice to say I may not have a job tomorrow.
The shaking has almost stopped but the cold sweats are still a big problem. I can't get warm and I am always soaked, particularity at night. I am trying to eat but it's difficult, the thought of food makes me sick. I am forcing myself a bit and taking huge amounts of supplements hoping I will feel better soon.
I really messed up this time. I am done with drinking. Glad I found this site but really fearful of losing my job tomorrow!
The last year or so I have wanted to stop. I changed from vodka, to wine, to beer, trying to cut down and get it under control. I have been hiding my drinking by sitting home alone at night and sneaking and hiding empty bottles in the garage and getting up early on recycle day to dispose of them. I didn't want anyone at the liquor store to know how much I was drinking so I shopped three different stores, lol.
Last week I found out I had been betrayed and lied too. I lost it and went on a three day bender. I drank myself silly and really screwed up at work. I told my new boss I would rather put a bullet in my head that to have to report to him again, lol funny but not funny, I copied the whole team!
Suffice to say I may not have a job tomorrow.
The shaking has almost stopped but the cold sweats are still a big problem. I can't get warm and I am always soaked, particularity at night. I am trying to eat but it's difficult, the thought of food makes me sick. I am forcing myself a bit and taking huge amounts of supplements hoping I will feel better soon.
I really messed up this time. I am done with drinking. Glad I found this site but really fearful of losing my job tomorrow!
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Congratulations on the 3 days. SR has helped me stay sober 1 year 9 months 2 days, 5 months 1 day of crack. The shakes and sweats will go away quickly.
If you like your job, better get in there Monday with some humble pie. Good luck
If you like your job, better get in there Monday with some humble pie. Good luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 15
Thank you neferkamichael, I know i will have to eat humble pie big time! I am not sure what I can say to excuse my behaviour. I am soooo embarrassed! I have humiliated both my boss and myself in front of my entire team.
I was thinking I might just pretend it didn't happen and carry on hoping my 12 years in might save me but I may have pushed it way to far this time.
I was thinking I might just pretend it didn't happen and carry on hoping my 12 years in might save me but I may have pushed it way to far this time.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome timewilltell!
I hope you start feeling better soon (and remember the aftermath when you're tempted to drink again). We're here for support any time you need it!
Maybe, if you're upfront with your boss, he'll give you another chance. Good luck tomorrow!
I hope you start feeling better soon (and remember the aftermath when you're tempted to drink again). We're here for support any time you need it!
Maybe, if you're upfront with your boss, he'll give you another chance. Good luck tomorrow!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Thinking about you Timewilltell. I am wondering how it went at work. I hope you come here and talk if the day is rough. Resist the temptation to turn to drink.
I hope, if you were to discuss your problem(as I am sure he knows) your boss may be supportive if you show willingness to change or get help?
Well, just wanted to wish you luck today.
rochele
I hope, if you were to discuss your problem(as I am sure he knows) your boss may be supportive if you show willingness to change or get help?
Well, just wanted to wish you luck today.
rochele
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 15
Thanks for all the well wishes!
So far so good, no one has said anything at all to me about my nasty behaviour. I may actually get away with it because I am knee deep into a couple of mult million dollar company deals. That said, I am still pretty shaken up about having been so disrespectful and arrogant. It's not really in my character to lose control like that.
Last night I slept a bit more than the two previous nights. I had trouble falling asleep so I took two gravol, two melatonin and I found some Rescue Remedy which I took. Don't know what helped most but I did fall asleep and only woke twice with cold sweats. A huge improvement over the previous two nights.
Today my anxiety is still quite high. Cold clammy hands which is kinda gross. Stayed away from coffee this morning and am continuing with mega doses of vitamins every four hours and Rescue Remedy. My head feels much clearer today and I still have absolutely no desire to drink.
I can't remember when I have ever felt as bad as I have in the last few days. I certainly did a big time number on my body, head and heart. I am not sure where this purposeful personal abuse is coming from or why anyone would do this to themselves but I guess this is a wake up call from hell.
I know the elevator stops on any floor and I choose to get off now!
Thank you all for being there for me!
Timewilltell
So far so good, no one has said anything at all to me about my nasty behaviour. I may actually get away with it because I am knee deep into a couple of mult million dollar company deals. That said, I am still pretty shaken up about having been so disrespectful and arrogant. It's not really in my character to lose control like that.
Last night I slept a bit more than the two previous nights. I had trouble falling asleep so I took two gravol, two melatonin and I found some Rescue Remedy which I took. Don't know what helped most but I did fall asleep and only woke twice with cold sweats. A huge improvement over the previous two nights.
Today my anxiety is still quite high. Cold clammy hands which is kinda gross. Stayed away from coffee this morning and am continuing with mega doses of vitamins every four hours and Rescue Remedy. My head feels much clearer today and I still have absolutely no desire to drink.
I can't remember when I have ever felt as bad as I have in the last few days. I certainly did a big time number on my body, head and heart. I am not sure where this purposeful personal abuse is coming from or why anyone would do this to themselves but I guess this is a wake up call from hell.
I know the elevator stops on any floor and I choose to get off now!
Thank you all for being there for me!
Timewilltell
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Sounds like it went well.
I know we are not supposed to give med advice but do check with your doc or pharmacy about things you are taking if you have been drinking heavily. Many things can add stress to the liver. I am thinking more because you say you felt so soick after your recent binge.
I hope your boss will notice your efforts at sobriety and let this go, as it seems might have happenned.
I know we are not supposed to give med advice but do check with your doc or pharmacy about things you are taking if you have been drinking heavily. Many things can add stress to the liver. I am thinking more because you say you felt so soick after your recent binge.
I hope your boss will notice your efforts at sobriety and let this go, as it seems might have happenned.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: midwest
Posts: 12
Day 3 sucked! Day 4 sucked too! Day 5 ... still pretty sucky! But 12 years of drinking sucked A LOT! 43 days sober feels great!
In my humble, non-professional opinion, you are doing great. I pray that it will continue for you. This website is a gift from God and you have so many people rooting for you (myself included)!
Take care tonight, and tomorrow, and the next day!
Lynn (clancydog)
In my humble, non-professional opinion, you are doing great. I pray that it will continue for you. This website is a gift from God and you have so many people rooting for you (myself included)!
Take care tonight, and tomorrow, and the next day!
Lynn (clancydog)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by timewilltell 
I am not sure where this purposeful personal abuse is coming from or why anyone would do this to themselves
Sapling, care to share any insights ?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 15
Finally was able to drag my butt out of the house today, working from home is a good and bad thing. I shopped for fresh organic fruits, veggies and chicken. Had an appetite for the first time in days. I cooked some chicken with a whole bunch of kale and server with a huge fresh salad, yum!
I know gravol and melatonin are unscientific but it's all I had in the house and it did help me sleep. Can't be worse for my liver than all that vodka
I am taking TrueHope EMPowerPlus as a multi vitamin. Anyone heard of them? It has every vitamin in the book all the essential minerals and antioxidants to promote mental health. I purchased them because they are supposed to help with anxiety and stress but I did some research on alcoholism and how it depletes many of the vitamins and minerals needed for proper brain functioning so I figure with all the brain cells I have lost it can't hurt lol. They claim it can cure bipolar. I am not sure about that but it can't hurt.
Cheers,
timewilltell
I know gravol and melatonin are unscientific but it's all I had in the house and it did help me sleep. Can't be worse for my liver than all that vodka
I am taking TrueHope EMPowerPlus as a multi vitamin. Anyone heard of them? It has every vitamin in the book all the essential minerals and antioxidants to promote mental health. I purchased them because they are supposed to help with anxiety and stress but I did some research on alcoholism and how it depletes many of the vitamins and minerals needed for proper brain functioning so I figure with all the brain cells I have lost it can't hurt
lol. They claim it can cure bipolar. I am not sure about that but it can't hurt.Cheers,
timewilltell
lol
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