Healthyfood

I went to town today and there it all started.
As soon as I saw people drinking beer, my thoughts started to spin in my head.
I could not find anything positive to think about. But thats not all.

The main reason I want to stay sober is because I want be normal again and enjoy life. I quit because I want to meet my true love.

But how on earth I will meet someone who does not drink and lives sober life???

This is too much now...

Wonderland

Have you gone on meetup.com to find local sober groups that go out and meetup for group activities? Many paleo/primal and Crossfit groups include many people that don't drink.

Sapling

Hang around sober people...They do exist. Don't look down the road so far...Get yourself a little time....Don't drink and life will get better. Just worry about not drinking today. Give time some time.

sugarbear1

I recently sat in a bar eating a decadent piece of chocolate cake while drinking coffee. I watched the patrons drink and kept mentally wondering which ones were potential alcoholics (while sitting and talking with another AA'er).

Since I don't drink now, I find there are many more people who don't drink than do, among the crowds I am in today. Of course, I don't attend wine tasting festivals! I have been to an auto show, boat show, theatre, and other places. Boy, amazing how we are drawn to those who are like us (when I drank, everyone drank, today I don't and I notice those who don't).

Your man is out there.....

Healthyfood

Sapling

Im trying to focus only on today...but the thoughts are harder to control.

Healthyfood

sugarbear1

You sat in the bar, the place that requires massive courage even to look at.
You are brave.

I notice only those who do drink. I will give more time and see what I notice then.

I hope that sober man is out there too.

stepping

Thanks for the thread HF; I needed this advice offered to you today

sugarbear1

HF, it was at a restaurant and the only place with available tables! I also found that since I surrendered and began to develop a design for healthy living, the thought or sight of alcohol doesn't bother me anymore. I've had enough. It's time to live. On a snowy-ish Saturday, my clean house and clean laundry allows me to watch a few $1.00 movies from that box outside the grocery store and to play on my laptop (which I could never afford while spending money on daily alcohol).

Tonight, home made tacos. I can do this without making a drunken mess, too. Things DO change. Tomorrow, I get to play with young people as I will babysit for a friend. No turning anyone down so I can waste a day drinking.

Hang in there!! Enjoy the rest of today!

Healthyfood

sugarbear1

What day are you? Well if alco does not bother you anymore, so that means its doable. All it takes is time.

I cleaned my place today as well. Spotless. I will have cereal for dinner, why not.

CornishBob

Healthyfood.
I know how difficult it can be. Thoughts are hard to control. You will find the strength though. You will meet someone but perhaps try to concentrate on forgiving yourself and finding inner peace? That's what I've been doing for 13 sober months and as hard as it is, it is still much better than drinking. Good luck.

Dee74

I know it's had to stay in today and not jump ahead - but do try HF.

It's easy to panic and think how will I live like this - but trust me when I tell you things won't always be the struggle they are now

Sometimes it takes a little faith to believe that will turn out ok - but they will - so long as you keep moving forward and working on yourself

D

sugarbear1

I don't suggest the ice cream dinner, although doable, I gained weight. lol I have 271 days today, worked through the 12 steps on days 14 & 15 because on day 12, I wanted to drink, hurt me, or hurt someone else, really badly hurt them, too. On day 12, at a noon meeting, I heard a woman's story and felt her pain, spoke with her after her talk (she led an AA meeting) and she took her Memorial Day weekend Sunday and Monday and guided me through the steps for relief. I received the relief, and I lost many fears, my social phobia and my anxiety, and I have been through the steps 2 more times, the third time learning how to sponsor another through those steps. At 9 months, I took another woman through to step 7, so far, and when she returns from her trip to Mexico, will guide her through to step 11.

My journey does include AA, not everyone wants that, but as long as you pour yourself into whatever keeps you sober, do it with gusto! And bring a dictionary. I am trudging (trudge means walking with a purpose) the road to a happy destiny now. It's now time for a speaker tape and a little rest.

smile, it fools the body

Healthyfood

Dee74

I was also thinking today how much time do I require to feel alive. I did some calculations.
If I drunk for 1 day, it would take me at least 1 day to get back. So since I drunk 365 days last year it means I need the whole 12 months to get back.

This is scary.

Healthyfood

sugarbear1

271 days! Awesome! AA has really helped you. Im just a little uncomfortable because I feel exactly the same as on day 3 and 4 and so on. Where is excitement?

sugarbear1

If you make it to tomorrow, sober, that is a miracle. I couldn't get one day together until life really was horrible and the drink just wasn't enough to get me my buzz.

Tomorrow, just for tomorrow, don't drink. Try it. Just one day at a time.

Just today.

To answer your last question, I literally ran to a 7 am meeting on day 5. I was alone. I didn't want to drink. Getting to that meeting meant I wasn't drinking for at least an hour (plus travel time). I then returned at noon, at 6 and at 8:30. I started talking to people. I went out for coffee after the meeting the next morning. I wasn't alone. Today, those people would do almost anything to help me. We are close friends now. Remember, these weren't concerns when we were drinking. I'd think about tomorrow's drink at the height of conscious drunkenness, then pass out....

Insanity-doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired of the insanity, try something different!

Healthyfood

sugarbear1

Well I would like to try something different, just don't know what. Nothing excites me, but THAT does not mean I will give up. I have rejected all the parties and will continue to do so. I can't face anyone. So I have isolated myself from everyone.

I look forward to meet sober people.

Today I went to dog shelter and asked if I could take dogs for a walk.
So hopefully they will let me do that after induction.

zxcirce

Aw healthy I know how it feels. Alcohol is everywhere and it's used as a social lubricant and is so normal and accepted. It can feel weird/sad to feel on the outside of "it" all. I'm also an isolater. I'd rather be alone than around drunks or people who are high, in general. But I take that too far and have literally one friend who I talk to maybe once a month....

Good on you for volunteering, it just takes getting out there to meet people, which can be the hardest part.

I agree with taking it easy, yes there are sober men out there and yes you can find them, but not at the expense of missing today in search of tomorrow.

Healthyfood

zxcirce

Unfortunately I have isolated myself too. Otherwise its too much to cope with.

You have at least one friend, I have none sober ones. I have met only once in my life a guy who does not drink, because he did not want to start. So it was his 30th birthday and he enjoyed soft drink, but everyone else smoked weed and drunk buckets. He has never tasted alco in his life.